


Sam Winchester Would Be That Hella Kinda Crush Of Yours

by perrydoan



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Almost Rape, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angel Orgasms, Blow Jobs, Bottom Jack Kline, Crazy Lonnie Machin, First Crush, First Kiss, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff, Hallucinations, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt Jack Kline, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Imaginary Friends, Innocent Jack Kline, Jealous Jack Kline, Lonnie Machin/Thea Queen - Freeform, M/M, Nephilim, Overprotective Dean Winchester, Possessive Dean Winchester, Public Sex, Rimming, Semi-Public Sex, Sharing a Body, Supernatural - Freeform, Thea Queen - Freeform, Top Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-13 07:10:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 51,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14744274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perrydoan/pseuds/perrydoan
Summary: Jack had a massive crush on Sam Winchester since the first day he saw the man. However, he got a problem which had always been eveyone's problem when it came to Sam - Dean Winchester. In hope of getting Sam's affection, Jack met an imaginary friend who promised to help him achieve what he needed.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I have been in love with this ship since 13x21 and been swimming in its fics for weeks. And it comes to the fact that I have nothing left to read, I decided to write my own story for them. Hope you'll enjoy it. The warning, tags, and rating will be changed in the future due to where the story leads me. So stay tune.

 

"You thought I didn’t see it? You thought you could hide them all? You overrated yourself, young man. Now, he might think that you’re a saint, but do you know what I see in you? You’re nothing but this disgusting crap that I can’t wait to get rid of. Stay away from my brother. Or else I’ll make you wish that you’d never been born!”

The cold words went through him like a knife stabbing right into his heart. The only difference was that knives couldn’t hurt him the way words did.

“Dean, I –”

He wanted to protest, to defend himself. He wanted to say that he’s nothing like what Dean had just said. But then, no words came out. His mouth stayed opening. His eyes stayed tearing up. His heart stayed bleeding. He wished he could stop all of this crap. He wished he could end his life just at the moment. Living was too hard for him.

It took a moment of intense silence until Dean slammed the door behind him with anger to leave Jack all alone in the dark room. Tears started falling down the boy’s cheek. They’re all glowing gold.

“Mom… Help me”, the boy sobbed in the dark.

“Hey boy”, a voice whispered into his ears.

He sniffed and turned around.

“Who’s that?” asked Jack with his painful eyes.

Nobody but himself was in the room.

“I’m your friend”, the voice chuckled.

“I don’t have any friend”, said Jack. A tear fell down.

“Oh yes, you do. And I’m right here with you. Perhaps, I’ve always been with you”. Jack could feel the smirk somewhere in the dark.

“Father?” Jack straightened himself to look around.

“Nope”, the man chuckled again. “Your friend, your true friend who never leaves you and hates you for who you truly are”

“Tell me your name”, Jack wandered his eyes around in the dark room.

“My name? My name is Lonnie”

“Hello. I am Jack”, replied the boy.

“I know” he whispered.

“Why don’t you come out? Why are you hiding in the dark?” Jack sounded very confused at the moment.

“You are the only one who has the right to ask me to come out. Do you want me to?” the voice danced from his right to his left ear. It got Jack turn around.

“Y – yeah. Sure!”

Jack looked around to find out there’s a man standing in his room. The man was walking slowly into the light. Jack leaned in to get a better look of him. It freaked the hell out of the young boy to see it’s him standing before his eyes. It’s totally him. But it’s him with leather jacket, black ripped jeans, and black leather boots. His eyes went wild.

“Shhh”, the man jumped into him and covered his mouth when Jack was about to scream.

“Take it easy, man! I’m not hurting you!”

Jack frowned. There was a bit of horror in his face.

“I would let you go. But you gotta promise me that you’re not gonna scream, okay?”

Jack nodded. The man slowly let go of him and sat down face-to-face with Jack.

Jack swallowed then asked. He looked at the man as if he’s some kind of fantasy.

“What- what are you? Why do you look like me? Are you real?”

The man chuckled. “I am your conscious. It’s like your imaginary friend who is only seen by you. I honestly don’t know why I look like you. Maybe because you’ve always wanted to have a twin brother to bear those weights with you. My shape depends on your wishes. And I am real. But to you. Not to anyone else”

“Oh… kay. Why-why are you here?”

He smiled softly, “To be with you. You’ve been crying for days, screaming for help, for anyone to be with you. So I’m here. You’ve been praying hard enough”

“Is it true that you’re here for me? Not just for my power?” Jack worried.

“Yes, dude. I’m here for you. Right when you got what you need and you don’t need my company anymore, I’m gonna hit the button” Lonnie winked at him.

“What button?” Jack was confused.

“The button of leaving you forever, dude”, Lonnie rested a bitch face.

“Hey! Don’t leave me! I need you here! You can be my big brother! You can be the Dean to my Sam!” Jack said in hurry.

“Whoa whoa whoa! Slow down, boy! First thing first, I’m not gonna be anything to anything. Secondly, Dean is a real dick to you, why do you want to be like him?”

“He…” Jack felt like his cheeks burning.

“What?” annoyed Lonnie.

Jack whispered to Lonnie’s ears. “If I tell you, would you promise me not tell anyone?”

“Who can I tell to? You’re the only one that see me, bro.” the man lifted one of his eyebrows.

“Okay…”, Jack took a deep breath and pushed out a sigh. “It’s because… Dean has this ability to do a certain thing that I really want to”

Lonnie thought for a moment before giving up. “I don’t get it, man. He’s a human. You’re a nephilim. You’re absolutely better than him everyway. There’s nothing he can do that you can’t.”

“Well…” Jack bit his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood there. “He can truly make Sam smile. He might be hard on me, but he’s really soft on Sam. And whenever Sam talks about Dean, there’s this light in his eyes with full of trust and faith and love. And, I want that too. I wanna make Sam happy like that whenever he thinks of me”, Jack avoided the man’s eyes.

“Holy crap! Dude! You wanna take Dean’s position in Sam’s heart?” Lonnie was quite shocked. But then he smirked. “Wait. Hold up. You’re having a crush on Sam Winchester, aren’t you, Jackie?”

“I… I’m not!” Jack’s voice was pretty high and his face was pretty red.

“Oh man! Oh man!” Lonnie jumped up and couldn’t stop laughing. “Dude! Do you have any idea about what this is?”

Jack looked up at the man and frowned. He, of course, shook his head.

“First, how old are you? Two weeks! And yet, you’re having your first crush already. Second, do you know who you’re having a crush with? Sam Fucking Winchester! He is like this precious son of a bitch that Dean “Murderer” Winchester will slaughter a whole house for. And Dean has already disliked you. You liking his brother, it ain’t helping, man. It gets this situation worse. And third, why the hell does it have to be Sam Winchester?”

“He- he’s nice to me. And he’s smart, he’s caring and loving and full of hope. His soul is so bright. He has a warm smile with beautiful eyes and dimples. He’s tall and strong.”

Jack went on and on about Sam. His face lighted up like a he’s having someone giving him all of his wishing birthday presents. He smiled softly, chuckled sometimes when it came to Sam.

“Yeah, the man has quite an awesome ass. Can’t deny”, Lonnie winked playfully at Jack.

The boy blushed, “It’s not… I’m not talking about his lower part… I’m just…”

“Okay! Okay, dude! The class gets it! Don’t explain more”, Lonnie put his hands in defense. The man was thinking of something.

“So,” Jack spoke softly. “Would you help me?”

“To get yourself killed by Dean Winchester? Hell no!” Lonnie replied with his huge eyes.

There’s an obvious disappointment on Jack’s face. He looked like a puppy just got kicked out of the apartment. To his disbelief, Lonnie sighed.

“But”, the man smirked, “if you ask me to piss Dean Winchester off? Hell yes!”

Jack gasped. There’s a horror expression on his face.  “I don’t! No! I don’t wanna make him mad. He’s gonna kill me! Please don’t piss him off! I don’t want him to be! Please”

Jack was shaking. The boy was starting to sob all over again. His gesture was so tense. Lonnie dropped himself down and put both hands on Jack’s shoulders.

“Dude! Easy! Breathe! Breathe for me! I was kidding. I was saying that Imma help you. Just it! Sam is gonna love you more than anything! More than his books! Hell! Even more than his laptop! I promise you, Jackie. Don’t freaking cry! Sam is not gonna like weak boy! Don’t you wanna be strong for him? Dean is strong! That’s why he’s attractive! You must be strong! Jackie, for Sam!”

Lonnie comforted Jack with whatever he could think of. And no matter what he said, it’s worth. Jack stopped himself from crying. The boy sniffed and nodded in agreement.

“Okay! That’s good!” Lonnie finally relieved.

Then he got up, gave Jack a hand to help the boy stand up. Jack followed the man’s lead.

“Jack. Okay. I’ll help you. But I gotta be honest with you, man. It’s gotta be really hard. So I need you to cooperate with me, alright?”

“Yes!” Jack said immediately.

“Okay. I’ll help you to gain Sam’s affection, but you gotta let me lead you without questions, without doubts. It might sound really strange but I can’t do it myself sometimes, so I might need your body for some certain tasks. Is it okay with you?”

“Y- yeah!”

“Good. So we have a deal here, right? I will be your leader, you will be my boy. Then, Sam will be you lover. How does that sound?” he lifted an eyebrow in amusement.

“L- lover? Sam and I?”

“Hell yea! And then you can get laid with that finest ass of all creations, dude”, Lonnie licked his lips.

Jack cocked his head. “What is get laid?”

“Well… It’s when… You know what? Too soon for it. I’ll show you when it’s time. Just know that both you and Sam will feel so good”, Lonnie smirked.

Jack smiled in excitement. “I wanna make Sam feel good. He deserves it”.

“Sure. No argument. Anyway, so we have a deal, right? You’ll let me in?”

“Yes!”

“Good!”

“Thank you!” Jack hugged the man.

“For what?” Lonnie hugged back in surprise.

“For helping me with Sam thing. I owe you”, the boy cheered up.

“You’re really gonna do anything for him, right, Jackie?”

“Yes! He deserves everything!” Jack felt happiness flowing inside of him.

“There you go, you sound like Dean already. Sam Winchester would be that hella kinda crush of yours, Jack. I’m sure of it”

Lonnie smirked. His eyes went glowing blue in the dark.

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your reading. Please give me some thoughts. I love you. ;)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a dream, a breakfast, a game, a fight and then there's the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the love and thoughts you guys gave me in chapter 1. I'm happy to know you guys are on board with me. So here comes chapter 2. I hope you'll enjoy it.

“Mom?”

Jack felt the warmth embracing all over his body when he snugged into Kelly. One of her hand was playing with his hair while another kept stroking his back. Jack felt safe and happy. It’s something that he couldn’t get everyday. The boy smiled and held her tight. He didn’t want to let her go. He knew that as soon as he loosened his arms, she would vanish into the thin air. This warmth was what he got left of her. It’s not much, but it’s enough for him to not break down at any moment.

“I miss you”, he whispered.

“I miss you too, Jack”, Kelly replied with a gentle smile.

Oh, God. She’s so beautiful. Jack wished he could be able to tell her that everyday. He wished he could be able to protect her, to make her smile and to hug her, kiss her every single time he wanted. He wished he could give her nothing but happiness. But then, even when he’s just a couple weeks old, he knew that life didn’t give you what you wanted. Someone was born in happiness. Someone was born in misery. And someone was born knowing that he killed his own mom and his father was nothing but a Devil. Being normal was just too much to ask for Jack Kline. He learned it the worst way.

“What are you thinking?” asked she with a calming voice. It brought Jack back to reality which he knew wasn’t his reality. But for then, he would just hold on impossibility.

“I’ve been thinking what it’d be if I wasn’t his son. I guess it would be easier for you. You would still be alive if I hadn’t been born”, Jack responded with pain in his eyes. A freak, it’s what he thought. Nothing but a freak, it’s what he reminded himself.

“Jack”, Kelly spoke up forcing Jack to look at her. She offered a light touch on his cheeks. “You know that I love you, right, Jack? And no matter what, I have always been proud of you. I have always been since you’re just this little thing in my stomach”.

He smiled. But it would be a completely lie if he admitted that he believed in her words. It’s not like he didn’t trust her. He had always trusted his mother even though they’d never met. But it’s difficult to believe that he’s not a freak as he was. It’s too difficult to believe that he’s anything but a monster that killed his own mom and took away the only light in his life. It’s just too difficult the way it had always been.

“Jack”, as if she read his mind. The woman just laid a hand on his cheeks and looked at him with concerns. “You know that you’re not a bad person. You know that if he’s here, he would agree with me, too, don’t you?”

“Father?” asked Jack. Castiel, that’s his name. His mother had always talked about him when Jack was just a little living thing inside of his mother’s womb. To her, Castiel was a guardian angel for Jack. And to him, Castiel was another victim of his birth. He killed both of them.

“You know I’m not talking about Castiel. You know exactly who I’m referring about”, Kelly offered him an understanding smile.

“I don’t- I don’t know what you’re talking about, Mom”, Jack blushed. Deep down, he knew, but he didn’t want to admit.

“Oh right? I was about to tell you something about him. But I guess you’re not interested in, so –”

Kelly was cut off by Jack’s excitement which came out of nowhere. “What’s about him? Mom, please tell me”

His mother grinned. It’s like she was thinking about her first something which Jack didn’t quite catch. But then, she lovingly let him lay on her thighs and stroked his curly hair.

“Well, what can I say? The man is quite attractive. I mean, he’s strong and smart and kind”

Jack bit his lips. He couldn’t hide his adorable giggle when the image came along. Of course, the man was nothing but attractive. Everything he did was as attractive as nougat. Jack recalled watching the man reading books. His hair fell of a bit, covered his eyes. And then, he would use his hand to tug them back under his ears or just stroked his hair back. Or the times he just mumbled along with those texts from those books. Or the times he frowned and re-read just to get the whole thing carefully. Or the times he just bit his thumbnail while thinking of something. Or the times he just smiled through something he read online and his dimples displayed really strongly and gorgeously. They were just so normal, yet, so attractive. Or maybe, normal was exactly what Jack needed in his life. Just like nougat, he thought.

“He had always protecting you, Jack. Before me, before Lucifer, before even Castiel. Everyone would just want me to get rid of you. But he didn’t. He always tried to find a way to defeat the big bad evil and saved you when he didn’t even know you.”

Jack didn’t remember much. But he did remember the man was confronting with everyone about this was just a baby, about getting all of his grace out of him so that he could be normal, he could be just a kid, he could be just a human.

“It’s you, who chose Castiel to be your guardian angel. It’s me who chose Castiel to be your father. But it’s him who chose you, Jack Kline, to be under his wings”.

The words flowed through him like a small wave that touched his heart gently. But then, it scared the hell out of him. What if he’s just being nice to Jack because he felt pity for Jack? Even though pity was at least something he got, it’s still pretty much very different from affection. What if the man just cared about him to prevent him to be more freak than he was? What if he’d never been worth?

“Jack, you’ve always been worth. It’s not something for anyone to choose. It’s your own value”

“But I hurt you. I hurt Castiel. Mom, I killed both of you. And what if… what if I’ll hurt him too? Who else is going to trust me if I hurt the only thing left of me?” He sat up, avoided his mother’s eyes. His voice was broken. Jack felt like he’s about to cry. But he didn’t. Crying was for babies. And his mother asked him to be a man not to see him cry.

“My dear”, she hugged him. “Life is full of incidents and accidents. You didn’t choose to be Lucifer’s son. You didn’t choose to cause me dead. You didn’t choose to get Castiel killed. It’s not your choices. It has never been.” She looked him in the eyes. “And I forgave you. So did Castiel. And you won’t hurt him, not by choices”. Kelly smiled at her own innocent child.

“How can you be so sure?” Jack sighed.

“It’s because I trust you. And so does he.” she pinched his cheek lightly. “And if you’d ever hurt him by accidents, he would forgive you, too.”

“Why?”

“Cuz he’s Sam”

Jack didn’t know why, but he actually felt better. Because he knew it’s all true. He knew that Sam would never hate him because the man’s just too much of a saint. He could always forgive everyone for the better good. Jack didn’t know how. But he believed that Sam had the biggest heart of all hearts. And Sam, with or without power, would always be the winner if it came to love. The man was a big bag of love and sunshine. When you’re with him, you would never feel anything but the warmest warmth coming out from the younger Winchester. And for that, he’s so vulnerable. He’s just too easy to use, to manipulate. And for that, Dean Winchester would always protect him at all costs. And for that, Jack somehow understood why Dean hated him so much. To the older man, Jack was just a Devil Junior. And Jack didn’t blame Dean for it. He technically was actually the Devil Junior himself. But to Sam, Jack was just a child, a kid that needed a second chance.

Sometimes, Jack wished Sam wasn’t this kind. Because it’s so hard for Jack to not having a strong feeling towards the man that he didn’t understand what it was. Was it some feeling of a son to a father, of a nephilim to a human, of darkness to a living light, or of a boy to another man? It’s just too complicated for Jack. He wished he had a mother to tell him all of this. But he couldn’t fool himself forever when he knew more than anyone that he created dreams in which he hid from reality. In these dreams, he was a little son of a mother who loved him more than anything. But in the reality, he was a son of Lucifer who killed his mom and his guardian angel and hurt everyone around him. In these dreams, he’s loved. In reality, he got nothing but hate.

And if he always got hated, it’s fine. He would understand who he was. But it’s Sam who always confused him. Was he worth or not? Was he loved or not? Was he trusted or not? Was he evil or not? If Sam just hated him like everyone else, he would know the answer. But Sam didn’t. And it’s so crazy how much of a blurred affection from Sam that could change everything Jack believed. Thousands of people who wanted him dead and one human who wanted him to have a better life. Hundreds of angels who wanted to hunt him down and one human who took him under his arms. And just like that, he felt like he’s good, trustworthy, loved and worth something for someone. And even he got millions reason to die, he still got one reason to live.

So maybe, Sam’s love was not his weakness. In fact, it’s his strength. It’s his love that saved this world. And it’s his love that saved Jack.

“You like him a lot, don’t you?” Kelly softly asked but both of them knew the answer.

Jack just nodded with the most beautiful smile that he had always been holding for too long.

“I wish he knew”, Jack replied.

“Sometimes, you gotta make the first move if you want to get something, Jack”.

“I don’t know how”, Jack cocked his head.

Kelly put both of her hands on his face, “Just follow your heart, sweetheart. After all Sam is –”

“That hella kinda crush of yours, Jackie!” a voice speaking up startled the nephilim.

“What?”

“It’s time to wake up, Jackie!” there’s a snap of fingers somewhere in the dark.

“But, mom…”

“Visit her later, boy!”

And just like that, Jack opened his eyes. Good bye dreams where he’s just Jack Kline. Good morning reality where he’s just a son of Satan.

Jack rubbed his eyes with a yawn before looking at his clock. It’s 8 in the morning. He went to bed around 4. So basically, it’s not much of a healthy sleep. But for now, it’s better than staying up all night or waking up in the middle of the night by his own scream.

“Morning, beauty”, a voice near him spoke up.

He threw a glance to his left where Lonnie was lying on the floor with his legs crossed. The man was wearing his black jeans but he removed his upper clothes. Jack knew his body, and Lonnie looked exactly like the boy from head to toes except one fact that he’s not Jack. The man was well built. Not Sam’s kind of well built. Like, who can ever be that kind of well built ever? Jack thought even Dean couldn’t reach it although Dean looked huge as hell. Anyway, Lonnie looked stronger than Jack physically due to training and practicing. It looked like the man had all kind of experience in fighting.

“What is that?” asked Jack as he slowly sat up. Jack pointed at Lonnie’s chest. There’s a tattoo on his left chest which was written “ _Thea Queen_ ”.

“This?” Lonnie looked down at his tattoo and traded his thumb along with the words. “It’s my girlfriend’s name. She’s the love of my life, dude”, Lonnie gave Jack a smirk.

Jack smiled in response. It’s good to know that his friend had a good relationship. It caused Jack to wonder if he could get _“Sam Winchester”_ on his chest too. But then, he couldn’t get a tattoo due to his weird body. But he could use stickers, he thought.

“Thinking about your boyfriend, Jackie?” Lonnie rolled over, put his hand under his head, used his elbow to lift his weight and looked at the boy. That caused the nephilim’s face heat up like a delicious pizza.

“He’s… He’s not my boyfriend”, Jack replied in a soft voice.

“Not yet”, Lonnie giggled before sit up totally. “I told you, Jackie, that I would help you with that. Remember?”

Jack nodded.

“Now, let’s get to work, shall we?”

The man winked at the boy before reaching out for his black T-shirt. Jack wished he could be half confident as Lonnie. There’s something about the guy’s attitude that reminded him of Dean. Dean was just so confident, so sure, so much brave, so much of a hero that was so much handsome and playful and also care-free. At least, it’s Dean before Jack had been born. Now, Dean was like the scariest thing Jack had ever experienced. But again, since when had life given you what you needed? So no matter how much he’s scared of Dean, he must face the man. As much as he wanted to avoid Dean, the man was always clued to Sam. And Jack wanted to see Sam.

He stretched out and got off his bed. Jack looked for some new clothes before leaving his room. The last thing he’d care was his smell. But the last thing he’d want was Sam looked at him with disgusting. Jack found a white T-shirt, a pair of blue jeans and a grey boxer. He put them all on, of course, after a good one minute of Lonnie explaining to him that he couldn’t just get naked whenever he wanted without thinking of others. Jack didn’t quite get the man’s ideas. Why would people have to be afraid to show off their skins? Everyone was the same. They’re all just made by flesh and bones. There’s no different at all between them. Especially with a man like Lonnie who looked exactly like Jack except the tattoo. Whatever Lonnie had under all those clothes, Jack did, too. So why did they have to hide?

“Why do people have to wear clothes to hide their body? Why don’t people just wear nothing like animals?”

Jack stepped in the kitchen where Sam and Dean were having breakfast with that question. Dean choked on his coffee right when the question spoke up. For God’s sake, the boy’s pretty much very annoying. Sam, with no better expression, choked on his waffles.

“Um…”  Sam coughed, “Good morning, Jack”, he offered the boy an awkward smile while wiping his mouth.

“Good morning, Sam”, Jack raised his hand to wave and gave the man a bright smile.

“All I need is a normal breakfast with no interruption from the spawn of Lucifer who walked naked all over the town on the first day he’s born and now wanted to come back to his mother nature”, Dean rolled his eyes with a grumpy groan.

Sam glanced at his brother. Breakfast was the time for no argument. It had always been the rule between them since forever. So of course, Sam wouldn’t say anything at all. And of course, Dean wouldn’t say anything more to start a fight. As much as Dean didn’t like the boy, it’s not worth fighting while eating. He didn’t want Sam to start starving himself like the little chubby boy who would do that now and then if he’s upset by his big brother or dad.

“Sit down, please. You should have breakfast”, Sam invited Jack to sit next to him and Jack almost jumped in excitement if there’s no Lonnie who reminded him to stay calm.

“Thank you”, Jack smiled.

He sat down and took a deep breath. The waffles smelled so nice as well as the coffee. But something even smelled better. Something with the combination of spring and high quality shampoo.

Sam poured some syrup on the waffles on Jack’s plate. The boy watched Sam’s movement. Sam’s hands were very large. His fingers were long and nice. Even when they looked rough, it still felt super soft. Sam gave him a small smile and Jack’s heart stopped. “You wanna taste his fingers, don’t you?” Lonnie whispered and it made Jack jumped.

“Jack, you’re okay?” Sam put down the syrup cup with a concerned look.

“I am fine”, Jack replied with wide eyes.

“Okay”, Sam still didn’t buy it, but he didn’t ask more.

Sam came back with his breakfast. The man was eating and reading at the same time. It felt like he didn’t see what just happened. Jack, on the other hand, couldn’t be that lucky to be unaware of what just happened. He swallowed hard and avoided Sam’s eyes after that. The boy decided to eat his waffles in silence and tried not to think of what Lonnie just said. The man was sitting on the table and smirked at both him and Sam. Jack tried to ignore him. But Lonnie was not the only one who watched them.

On the other side of the table, there were those eyes of doubt, disbelief, anger, jealousy, protectiveness and possessiveness. Dean was drinking his coffee in silence but his eyes were never off Jack. It sent a several shivers down of his spine. It felt like Dean could break his neck at any time if there’s no Sam here.

“The guy is good. He knows”, Lonnie looked at Dean before telling Jack.

Jack licked his bottom lip and shoved all the waffles down his throat as soon as possible. He must get out of there before ending up on the floor with his neck broken.

“Looks like he’s thinking of a good place to hide your corps, Jackie”, Lonnie jumped to Dean’s side and leaned in the man. “Boy. He smells like a serial killer”.

Jack’s eyes widen. He didn’t know what kind of help Lonnie thought he’s doing, but this didn’t help anything at all.

Jack didn’t realize he started to choke on his food by shoving them in too fast. The boy coughed. A large hand was patting his back to help him with the situation.

“Easy, Jack. Easy”, Sam said with encourage in his voice. The man then handed Jack a glass of water and Jack drank it like a thirsty elephant. When Jack finally pulled himself together, he found out that he’d grabbed it too fast that Sam’s hand was still on the glass. So instead of holding the glass to drink, the boy had been holding Sam’s hand the whole time. Sam didn’t seem to mind, though. He was more worried for Jack.

“Better?” Sam asked with a couple gentle strokes on the boy’s back. It made Jack want to lean in the touch more and more causing a bright pink on his cheeks.

“Y- yeah”, Jack nodded quietly. “Th–thanks, Sam”, he added.

Dean didn’t say a word. He just sat there in silence and watched the show to analyze the situation. If he’s being honest with himself, he definitely wanted to hit the table hard enough to split these two. However, he’d been taught better than this. He’d been taught to always know your enemy thoroughly before making a move. And in this case, his enemy was Lucifer’s son.

Dean cleared his throat and it’s sure to cause Jack another almost jumped. Jack gave Dean a scared look before quickly moved himself out of Sam’s touch. He felt like there’s an invisible weight on his chest with everything around him. It’s obviously Dean’s look that gave him twenty thousands images of how he died. On the contrary, Sam didn’t react much. He just pulled his hand back and took a sip of his orange juice. It’s like he didn’t feel anything at all. It’s like he didn’t feel Dean’s anger towards the boy or Jack’s admiration towards Sam.

“Typical kind of crush”, Lonnie shook his head towards Sam. “Maybe I should just rub his crotch so that he can feel something about you. What do you say, Jackie?”

Lonnie jumped to Sam’s side and raised his hand in Jack’s terror.

“Don’t!” Jack apparently said too loud that it caused both of the men stopped what the hell were they doing.

“What?” asked Sam.

Dean, however, didn’t show much of expression. It’s hard to read the man. Even Lonnie admitted that Dean’s too good.

“Mind sharing with the class what’s going on here, young man?” Dean spoke up after the whole time being silent. His voice was low and deadly serious and dangerous as hell. It made Jack’s heart stopped beating. Not the kind of heart stopping Sam did to him with so much love. Dean’s was the kind that would easily haunt him for the rest of his life.

Swallowing hard, Jack looked up at Lonnie for help. But the man did nothing but gave him a smirk and raised an eyebrow.

“Jack, you’re okay? What are you looking at?” Sam asked softly with so much of gentle. And Jack looked back at Sam, trying to find the right words.

“I… It’s…”, Jack couldn’t find the suitable words when he’s so much out of breath.

“Whatever you’re going through, you can always tell us, Jack”, Sam put a hand on Jack’s shoulder and lightly squeezed it. Jack looked at his shoulder and swallowed even harder.

“Ooohhh, Jackie! He’s touching you already!” Lonnie was now on Jack’s side and whispering from one ear to another. “Think about those large hands around your hips, pulling you closer so that you guys can lock your bodies. Think about his long fingers in your mouth with you sucking the syrup out of him. Hmmm… Jackie, I assure you, it tastes so much better than those waffles. And if you’re nice enough, being such a good boy, maybe Sam could offer you the best nougat in the world”.

Jack squeezed his eyes shut and frowned. He bit his bottom lip so that he wouldn’t yell anything at Lonnie. This is too much for him. The boy didn’t expect his friend to be this nasty and crazy all around. He just wanted a normal relationship with Sam. He didn’t want to get more hate from Dean.

“That’s enough!” Dean growled. “Drop the act!” he demanded.

Jack opened his eyes and met Dean’s anger. This was it. He’s screwed.

“Dean, what the hell?” asked Sam with a frown on his face.

“Put your hands off him, Sam!” Dean stood up from the table. That caused Jack to pull himself back from Sam’s hand and stood up as well.

“Dean, no argument while having breakfast!” Sam reminded the older man and stood up, too.

“This is getting exciting”, Lonnie smirked and sat down on a chair, legs crossing on the table.

Jack threw the man a mad look before being forced to look at Dean by the fact that Dean was sitting between Sam and him.

“Dean, I-”, Jack started but got cut off by Dean almost immediately.

“Quit it! I told you! And you didn’t even listen!”

“Dean!” Sam spoke up, but it didn’t change the fact that Dean didn’t pay attention on the younger man.

“What did I tell you, huh? Stay away from my brother! And what did you do huh? Acting all innocent to get him? You’re just a little teaser huh? Wanna get down for my brother that much? Tell me, Jack! Did you fantasy about my brother’s hands all over you? Did you, Jack? Did you?” Dean shoved Jack against the wall in Sam’s horror. The younger Winchester tried to split them but Dean was so much stronger. Dean was even stronger in general, but when he’s mad? He’s some kind of monster in your nightmare that’s unstoppable.

“The guy is really good. He can feel it just by looking”, Lonnie spoke in amusement. Apparently, this man didn’t intend to help Jack at all with this.

“Dean, let him go!” Sam shouted as Dean used his arm to block Jack’s throat.

“Answer me, you little perverted monster!” Dean shouted as well.

And Jack should have shouted that he didn’t, that he would never dream of it. But it’s a lie. And Sam didn’t like liars. And Jack didn’t, either. So instead of shouting, he was tearing up. He hated it when he’s all this weak and helpless. And it’s his fault that Dean would hate him this much.

“I… I didn’t mean to”, Jack finally said. And that’s when Lonnie sat up and walked towards Jack.

“You can’t admit it, Jack! As soon as Sam knows how you feel about him, it’s over. Sam’s your crush, not lover. He won’t understand you. Not yet. You must wait till it’s time to tell him. And that time is not now”, Lonnie explained.

“But I don’t wanna lie to them!” Jack threw the man a painful look before a tear dropped down.

“Who are you talking to, Jack?” asked Sam with confuse.

“It’s…” Jack looked up and down between two of them.

“Jack, don’t”, Lonnie warned.

“It’s my imaginary friend”, Jack sniffed.

“What is his name?” Sam asked.

“Lonnie”, Jack replied softly.

“Is he here now?”

“Yes”

“Did he make you act weird?”

“It’s not his fault. It’s my fault”, Jack shook his head and avoided Sam’s eyes.

“Jack, it’s not your fault if others tell you stuff you don’t expect to.” Sam gently explained. “So tell me, did he?”

“He did”, Jack said after all.

“Nice!” Lonnie shook his head in disbelief.

“I get it, Jack. It’s okay”, Sam moved to Jack’s side and put a hand on his shoulder. “Dean, please let him go”, he turned to Dean who stood there with his arm still blocked Jack as if he was in some kind of movie that plot twist happened.

“What the hell, Sam? You believe what he said?”

“I do, Dean. It’s not his fault. It’s the nasty imaginary friend of his”, Sam gave Dean his puppy eyes.

Oh hell, no way Dean would let it go easily. Screw Sam and his puppy eyes.

“No, Sammy. This boy is just messing with you. You can’t expect me to believe all the “Mr. Devil on my shoulder tells me to fuck you” crap. This is so absurd!”

“Language, Dean!” Sam reminded him.

“Fuck language! I’m trying to protect you!” Dean yelled at Sam.

“Stop, please”, Jack cried out.

“From what?!” Sam raised his voice.

“From this fucking child monster freak!” Dean finally said it too loud.

“Dean!” Sam’s eyes widened from the words.

“Stop!” Jack groaned before disappearing.

“Great! Look what you’ve done, Dean!” Sam shook his head.

And Dean went crazy with it. “What’ve I done? I? Can’t you see what’s happening here? The boy fantasies about you. He wants to screw you. It’s too obvious! Why can’t you see it?”

“And why can you, Dean?” Sam asked with his arms crossing in front of his chest. It made Dean startle. He didn’t know why. It’s just the feeling. It’s just his sense of things that have feelings for Sam. He knew it’s not like Jack would just have sex with Sam or anything. It’s just an innocent crush, maybe. But Dean didn’t allow it. He’s Sam’s brother, after all. He got the right.

“Because, I’m your brother, Samuel Winchester. I know, so I know.” He said briefly.

“But I’m not your wife, Dean. You have no rights to control whoever likes me or not. I have my own will. Even Dad can’t stop me”, Sam said with so much challenge and anger. He tightened his fit and stepped into Dean’s personal space.

“Good thing, I’m not Dad and I’m not your husband. I’m just Dean Winchester. And as long as I’m around, no one would allow to go near you without my permission”, Dean responded with nothing but confidence. He closed the distance as well.

“Jesus, you’re a control freak”, Sam shook.

“Since birth, baby brother”, Dean smirked.

They stood like that for a moment before Sam decided to withdraw. “I’m gonna find Jack”, he said before leaving. This time, Dean didn’t say anything. But when Sam’s gone, Dean let go of a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding.

\----------------------------------------------

“It’s your fault!” Jack was shouting angrily at Lonnie. But the man looked nothing but worry at all. Lonnie left as soon as Jack left the room. Technically, they’re attached to each other.

“Why did you do that?!” Jack’s eyes went darker as if he’s about to fight.

“Relax”, Lonnie leaned against the wall. “It’s part of my plans”

“What kind of plan was that?” Jack growled.

“The kind of plan to get Sam Winchester into this room in…”, he raised his hand to look at his watch “3… 2… 1”

_Knock… knock… knock…_

“Jack? You’re here?” It’s Sam. Just like Lonnie said.

Jack gave Lonnie an unbelievable look. Right when Sam’s voice was up, it seemed like Jack’s anger was gone.

“Can I come in?” asked Sam before turning the knob.

When the man stepped in, he found Jack sitting on the floor next to his bed. He was curling up with his arms around his knees which were under his chin. The boy looked up with sadness and guilt.

“Hey, buddy”, Sam said quietly as he slowly archived the boy.

“I apologize”, Jack said almost like nothing. It’s too soft, too weak and too small.

“Hey. It’s okay. You don’t have to”, Sam sat down in front of Jack.

“It’s my fault for messing things up. I never wanted to make you feel uncomfortable and to drive Dean angry”, the boy sighed.

“I’m not uncomfortable, Jack”, Sam said with a smile. His hands were now on his thighs. “But Dean’s really angry. And it’s not your fault either. It’s juts… It’s Dean. He’s overprotective over me as always”, Sam bit his bottom lip.

Jack nodded. Although he didn’t know why Dean would hate him that much while Sam’s nothing but love, he nodded.

“Look, I know this is hard to believe”, Sam scratched his neck, “But Dean is nothing but good. He might sound like a jerk, but he’s the best man you’ve ever seen in this entire world. He’s full of love and strong and brave”

And just like that, Sam’s face was lighting up like fireworks. It’s good to watch Sam being happy but it’s sad to know that it’s not Jack who Sam’s happy about.

“Just give him time, Jack. And you’ll see how wonderful Dean is. You’ll see what I see in him”, Sam gently stroked Jack’s fingers with a smile.

Just like that, Jack was losing himself again. He wanted to throw himself into Sam and never let Sam go.

They stayed like that for a moment before Sam asked if Jack wanted to watch a movie with him and Sam showed him the first movie in Jack’s life, Star Wars. The boy really wanted to have a light saber. And Sam promised him that he would give Jack want if Jack behaved well and practiced his power hard. Jack immediately agreed to that deal. They watched until Dean showed up and informed quickly that they’re out of supplies and asked if they wanted anything. Jack, of course, was scared enough not to ask for anything. Sam excused himself to go out with Dean for a list.

So there was Jack sitting alone in Sam’s room and enjoying the movie. It’s good. Being normal was good. That’s a good feeling to have until reality hit him that he’s not normal at all.

Lonnie had been out of sight when Sam’d showed up a couple hours ago. But the man appeared again when Sam’s not around Jack. The boy was somehow not forgiving that dick yet. So he decided to ignore Lonnie.

“Come on, man. It works. You guys are watching movies together”

“And it’s because Sam’s kind, not thanks to you”, Jack said it a harsh voice.

“Hey!” Lonnie held his chest, “It hurts, dude! Be nice to me, Jackie. I helped you to be with him. It’s not the best way, but it’s good enough”

“If it’s your plans, why didn’t you tell me?” asked Jack with a bit of annoyance.

“Tell you? Hello, dude. Have you seen yourself? You can’t lie! So if I told you all, you would tell them all”

“So you expect me to lie?” Jack frowned.

“No. I expect you not to know anything and just play along. I am just an idea and you’re the performance. That’s how it works” Lonnie explained.

Jack thought a bit. He didn’t 100% trust Lonnie but the man made some sense.

“Okay, you don’t trust me now. How about I give you some good information?”

“About what?”

“About Dean. I know why he could sense us both”

Jack straightened himself. “How?”

“Not how!” Lonnie sat down next to Jack, “It’s why! Why he could sense us both.”

Jack looked up at him and waited for the answer.

“It’s because he’s been there. Just like us! It takes one to know one, man. He has a crush on Sam, too!”

“What?” Now Lonnie didn’t make any sense at all. He couldn’t expect Jack to understand this and believe him.

“It’s true! I see the look on his eyes. It’s more than just a brother. It’s a guy who unintentionally has a crush on his brother. He’s been holding it forever and it drives him nuts, dude! And he knows he can’t ever get Sam. But you, you can! So that’s why he hates you so much. You are taking the love of his life away from him!” Lonnie smiled widely.

“It makes no sense” Jack cocked his head.

“It does! Thea has a big brother, too. And Oliver is also protective. That man did try to kill me. Well, I tried to kill him, too. It doesn’t matter, though. But Oliver can never reach Dean’s level of protective. Because Oliver is just a brother while Dean is a lover!” Lonnie leaned in.

“What do I do now?” Jack was worried. He bit his lip in anxiety.

“Well”, Lonnie stood up and walked around. “Imagine that Sam is the man you love and he’s a dog lover. He lives with this big grumpy dog that will bite you anytime if you come near Sam. What would you do?”

Jack was thinking for a moment before giving his answer, “I would try to get along with the dog so that three of us can be happy together”.

Lonnie leaned against the wall now, “Jackie boy”, pulled out his cigarette. ”If Sam is a dog lover”, he lit it up, “and you love Sam”, inhaled deeply. He let the white smoke out of his mouth with a darkest smirk Jack’d ever seen.

“You get rid of the dog”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading it. Please give me some thoughts about the fic as well as the characters. I love to hear all of you.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It seemed almost perfect. But nothing is perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all of your supports and kind words from the first 2 chapters. So as a good person as I am, here comes chapter 3. There would be a lot of events. So prepare yourself.

“What do you mean by get rid of the dog?”

Hot blood went through Jack’s mind. Did Lonnie mean what Jack was thinking? Did his friend want to hurt Dean? Jack felt doubts rising in him that he couldn’t control himself. He knew he promised Lonnie that he wouldn’t mistrust the man no matter what he did. And as someone who adored Sam, Jack knew that he must keep his promises in order to make Sam proud. But it’s hard to keep this promise if it’s something that put Dean in danger. After all, Dean was a good man and he’s Sam’s brother. Hurting Dean meant hurting Sam. And the last thing Jack wanted was to see Sam being in pain.

Lonnie, however, didn’t seem to concern much. The man just leaned against the wall and enjoyed his moment with his cigarette. It felt like he was dreaming of something. He looked so calm when he’s managing his plans. However, if Jack was right, there’s a second in between, Jack did saw Lonnie’s pain in a blink. But it’s too fast to catch it. Jack still considered that Lonnie was somehow like Dean. They both had a perfect mask. Just like when no one noticed, Lonnie with his confidence and smartass would show his real form of a lonely man who lost too much. Or that time when Jack could feel Dean’s pain so strong when he passed the man’s room in the middle of the night with so much alcohol, memories, loss, love and secrets.

When there’s an audience, Dean would always be that tough guy who could break your neck any time and would joke around to seize the day. But when there’s just Dean, he would simply be Dean who sacrificed everything but again, not enough. Jack sometimes wished that Dean could somehow be Sam. because even when Sam’s in so much pain, Sam let people in, let them talk, let himself listen to them. It’s easier. Unlike Sam, Dean always had an invisible wall that was too strong to trespass. He would rather suffer alone than letting people in. Typical kind of Dean, Jack thought.

“Relax, I’m not gonna harm Dean or something. If it’s what you’re worrying, Jackie boy”, Lonnie let out a smirk. The man took another drag before throwing the cigarette on the floor and stepped on it.

“Don’t litter! It’s Sam’s room!” Jack frowned in annoy. The boy stood up from his position, went to pick up the trash then throwing it in the trashcan at the corner.

Lonnie was observing him in silence and gave him a smirk.

“What?” Jack was annoyed by Lonnie’s look.

“You’re very adorable, Jack, did Sam tell you so?” the man shrugged.

Jack felt a light brush hit him. Well, technically, Sam didn’t. But he would love to hear it from Sam. Just the image of Sam telling him that he’s a good boy or he’s adorable made him giggle in silence.

“Just like what I think”, Lonnie slapped his hands.

“What?” Jack widened his eyes in question.

“You’re the innocent boy, Jack. And it’s your advantage. The thing is, Dean is not innocent anymore”, Lonnie came to the bed and lied on his back.

“Don’t lie there! It’s Sam’s bed!” Jack huffed and shooed Lonnie away before the man dragged him down with him.

Jack caught off guard and lied on his stomach. The bed was soft and nice. There’s not even a stain or dust there. It’s so much of Sam. He always wanted everything to be clean and nice. Jack heard once that Dean called the man a clean freak. It wasn’t a kind of insult, though. Because it was light and joke in Dean’s voice. Both Jack and Sam knew it wasn’t a lie there since it’s actually Sam. He loved everything in orders, well organized, neat and clean. It somehow explained the way he sorted his books, his clothes, his perfume, his hair products. Everything must be as perfect as possible. It’s just then it hit Jack. Sam’s musk was all over the place.

Jack unconsciously buried his face in the mattress and filled his lungs with Sam’s scent. It smelled so nice, so soft and so much gentle. It smelled like sunflower in a spring morning, like the sand in a summer noon, like river in an autumn evening and like dew in a winter night. It’s a mix of joy, of light, of hope, of gentleness, of sweetness, of warmth. He didn’t know how he could know all of this, but apparently, he did just by breathing Sam. It’s so good that Jack admitted he wouldn’t want to leave.

“Smell good, isn’t it?”

Jack knew that Lonnie was smirking at him somewhere but he couldn’t care less. Let the man say what he wanted, Jack wouldn’t fight and denied just to be call a denial. He acknowledged that Lonnie was right. It scared him somehow that Lonnie had always been right since they met. Although, if Jack was honest as he was now, Lonnie was such a dick.

“Do you want to get more of Sam, Jackie? More than just his scent?”

It got Jack’s attention. The boy turned his head on Lonnie’s side. Lonnie was lying with his arms under his head, eyes to the ceiling. Jack needed to roll up and sit up to be able to look at his friend clearly, but screw it. The bed was too comfortable to leave. So he just lied there on his stomach and looked at Lonnie through the corner of his eyes.

“Like what?” the boy asked.

“I don’t know. Let’s see. Hand holding? Like actually holding and caring. Hugging? Cuddling?” Lonnie turned his gaze to Jack, “Kissing?”

A heavy pink of color displayed on Jack’s cheeks, which caused Lonnie chuckle. “So it’s a yes, I assume”, Lonnie pointed. Jack nodded.

“So you gotta do exactly what I say and follow exactly what I lead, Jackie boy”, Lonnie said before turning his gaze back to the ceiling, “Even when you probably don’t know much about my plan. But well, one step at the time then”.

Jack looked at Lonnie for a moment, tried to figure out what’s in the man’s head. But he gave up when Sam’s scent was even stronger than his will. So Jack let go. He fell asleep there. And there’s no nightmare, no pain, no one told him he’s a monster. It’s just a set of images of Sam whispering the boy sweet nothing while they’re cuddling on Sam’s bed. Heaven wasn’t that far, Jack thought with a smile on his face. A smile that he didn’t even know he could afford.

\---------------------------------

Jack woke up with no sense of time before feeling the pain rising physically. Jack hissed and forced his eyes to open as he was shocked to see there’s a pencil through his hand. Jack’s eyes widened and he shouted: “What the hell?!”

“You’re awake, Jackie”, Lonnie was lying on the floor as usual spoke up. He looked too relaxing to not annoy the hell out of people.

“What’s going on? What’s happening?” Jack intended to pull the pencil out of his hand before his hand being grabbed by Lonnie’s.

“Don’t! It’s a part of the plan”

“You stabbed me with the pencil? What kind of plan is this?” Jack was mad at his crazy friend.

“The kind of my usual plan”, Lonnie winked at him.

Jack was nothing but angry. He wasn’t sure what hurt more, his hand being stabbed with a pencil or the urge of wanting to kick Lonnie’s ass so much.

“Hey Jack, you’re up”, a warm voice spoke up from the door drew his attention away from his pain. Sam’s simples showed off a bit, not much, but enough for Jack to feel funny in his stomach.

“Hi, Sam”, Jack waved his hand at Sam just to greet Sam’s terror.

“Oh my God, Jack! What happened?” Sam threw himself like a flash of light into Jack’s personal space and carefully held up Jack’s hand. His eyes were full of concern.

“I…” Jack bit his bottom lip when Sam touched the pencil. Obviously, Sam wanted to test if he could pull it out. But the look on Jack’s face got him at least a bit hurtful because Jack could feel Sam was biting his inner cheek as he flinched.

“Hold on to it, I’ll find something to fix this”, Sam’s eyes didn’t leave the boy’s wound for once. It sent Jack several of invisible sparks. As clear as daylight, Sam was giving all of his attention. It’s not nice to make Sam worry, but it’s a lie to say he didn’t enjoy the older man’s worry.

As Sam was busy getting whatever he was, Lonnie gave the boy a squeeze on his shoulder. “It’s gonna hurt like a son of a bitch, but it’ll worth it, baby!” Then just like that, the older vanished. So much of helping, dickhead, it would be what Jack said if he could use insult words.

Sam gave the boy a bottle of beer and demanded the boy to take a sip of it. Jack, as a good kid as he always was, took half of it to make Sam proud. Sam chuckled and then took a sip, too, before sitting down and doing his thing. Sam carefully held Jack’s hand as high as his gaze and took a deep breath before pulling out. Pain hit Jack, the boy squeezed his eyes shut and tried to fight the urge of pulling back his hand. He trusted Sam. He knew the man wouldn’t hurt him. But technically, it hurt like a son of a bitch.

Sam tried his best not to cut some of Jack’s veins. He kept on blowing air at the wound like the way Dean had always done when the man had been a little trouble and messing around. “It’s okay. You’re doing so well, Jack. We’re almost done here, buddy”, Sam offered him an encouraging smile and Jack smiled a little through his pain. It’s so sweet of Sam to take care of him like that.

When Sam’s done with taking it out, both of them let out a breath they’re both holding for too long. Sam smiled in relieve and threw the pencil away in a blink before wrapping Jack’s wound with medical stuff. Sam knew it made no sense to do that because Jack would heal before they realized but he wanted Jack to feel normal. Like what normal kid would have if they normally got hurt in a normal way.

“Th-Thank you, Sam”, Jack said softly.

“Don’t mention it”, Sam replied. It was a moment of normal until Sam’s eyes were filled with thoughts. “You didn’t answer me, Jack. What happened?” Sam looked so serious. He looked gentle but serious.

“I was…” Jack wanted to start with _“I was sleeping and Lonnie stabbed me”_ but something in him told him differently. Parts of him that owned by Lonnie were coming to life. And as a good liar as Lonnie was, Jack continued, “I was practicing moving the pencil. I want to make you proud”. He said quietly. He knew it’s a lie. He didn’t dare to look at Sam. But he also knew that it’s not a lie. He did really want to make Sam proud.

“Buddy”, Sam opened his mouth and forced Jack to look at him, “You don’t need to practice it if you don’t want to. It’s okay”. Something told Jack it was some memories that caused the bother in Sam’s hazel eyes. He looked so beautiful, though. He looked so beautiful even when he’s not happy.

“But I want to”, Jack responded. Sensing Sam’s uncertainty, Jack took the risk. The boy took Sam’s hand in his injured hand. This time, he forced Sam to look at him. “I do, Sam. I want to make you proud. So this is nothing. We both know that the wound will ease away soon enough”. Honesty was all over his voice.

“It’s not right, Jack”, Sam found his voice too heavy as he shook his head. “You’re not supposed to get hurt like this. You’re support to be a kid, a normal kid. You’re supposed to be crying for your mother’s milk now, instead of practicing your power”.

It was too much. Sam’s pain was too much. This was not only about Jack, he knew. This was also about Sam. This was about his life, his destiny, his loss. He lost his mother too just because of something Lucifer made him to be. He was the same as Jack. They’re both stuck in a joke of the universe where their existence got people’s around them misery. And deep down, Jack would always blame himself. And deep down, Sam would never stop the blame on him. But at the same time, they both wanted to tell the other that it’s not their fault, it had never been their fault. If there’s someone to blame, it must be Lucifer.

Jack wasn’t good at comforting with words. His vocabulary wasn’t big enough to tell Sam something wise, something half of beautiful of Sam’s words. But he could do something that clearly was enough for the situation. He wasn’t sure where he’d learned it but it didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered to Jack was Sam. If there’s something good about the day he’s born, it must be Sam. Sam was the first one he’d seen, the first one who cared, the first one who didn’t try to hurt him, the first one who protected him, the first one who listened to him, and for that, he’s the first one Jack cared so much. So screw heaven, screw hell, screw those demons, those angels, screw those hunters and destiny. He’s not a pawn, a voice told him. He could make his decisions, a voice told him. So there Jack went. He decided.

Jack gently wrap his arms around Sam neck and pulled him in. “Jack?” Sam was surprised by the boy’s act that he didn’t react anything. The man’s body was large and warm. Jack could feel his heart sped up like he’s in a Star Wars fight. He held his breath and buried his face in Sam’s neck. He could feel it now. He was living it now. Sam’s scent was so strong, so much of a man. He was exactly what Jack had felt before. And if someone told Sam that he’s imperfect, Jack would be happy to stab them with a pencil. He didn’t know he was that violent until he was hugging Sam. And he didn’t know that he was craving it until he was hugging Sam. He didn’t know that he could be addict just by hugging Sam. A lot of things he didn’t know, but there’s one thing he knew for sure that he wanted Sam. More than that, he needed Sam.

“I can’t be as strong as Dean”, Jack started, “I can’t be as smart as you”, he tightened his arms, “But I can be good for you”.

“Jack?”

He wasn’t sure if he was actually saying these or it’s Lonnie who was pushing the words out of him. “Sam, I’m not normal. I want to be normal, but I know I’m not. But it’s okay. I don’t care.” It could be Lonnie’s encouraging him somewhere but it’s his words, his thoughts, and his honesty. “As long as I have you, none of that matters”.

And he felt it. He could actually felt it. Sam’s arms were slowly touching his back and wrapping around him. It felt like everything happened in his life just to send him to this exact moment. The moment where he didn’t care who he was anymore, who was his father, what he was, what his destiny was. This was the moment where he felt like he fit perfectly in. The world could abandon him. But it didn’t bother him much now, because his world would never.

“You’re not normal, Jack”, Sam said quietly, “You’re special”.

Jack found himself drunk in those words when he smiled, buried his face deeply in Sam’s hair. He knew Sam did smile too. He knew that Sam liked him too. He knew that his future with Sam could have hope now. He knew that he could try harder to make Sam like him the way he did. He knew that he could even try his best to make them work out.

What Jack didn’t know was when he’s nothing but happy, there’s a man outside the door, listening to every word of the conversation and biting back his pain.

\---------------------------------

Things went better for Jack and Sam as he thought it could only happen in his dreams. If his mother had been still alive, she would definitely be so proud of Jack now. Jack was now clued to Sam. They’re like inseparable now. They did almost everything together. They read and practiced and watched movies together. Jack liked Star Wars a lot and mainly because Sam loved it. He also loved Harry Potter, well, mainly because Sam loved it, of course. The boy studied the lore like Sam did in order to learn about his kind and all mystery kinds. He admitted that he thought shape shifters were cool as hell.

“I think I want to be a shape shifter”, he said with a mouthful.

“Why?” Sam replied before shooing salad in.

“I want to shift into everything that looks cool”, Jack smiled widely.

The boy was happier, Sam could notice. Apparently, all those times he’s with Sam made things different. The more Jack’s with Sam, the lighter he was. He’s pure and innocent. He cared a lot about everything. He wanted to study more and he wanted to be smart. He also practiced a lot to get a hold of his power to help Sam rescued Mary. Sam thought after all of this, after all of this nonsense, he really wanted Jack to go to school, to have friends, to be a part of this world. He’s so much of a young Sam. And it ached Sam a bit.

He looked in the direction of Dean’s room. The man was closing himself more and more everyday. Sam barely saw Dean recently. He wanted so badly for Dean to at least see what Sam could see in Jack. He wanted Dean to be on board with him. He missed Dean. These days, even when they’re just a door away, it felt like Dean was in another world. He liked Jack, he liked the kid a lot, but it was a lie if he said he’s okay with the fact he’s losing Dean. He wanted to have Dean back. If he raised Jack, he didn’t want to do it alone. He wanted to do it with Dean. But he didn’t know how. Every time he tried to open up with Dean, the man pushed him away.

“Are you okay?” Jack’s voice brought Sam back to reality. The kid was looking at him in confused.

“Huh?” Sam shot back, “Ah! Yeah. What were you saying? I got lost. Sorry”, he offered the boy a smile.

“I said I wanted to shift into you”, Jack smiled excitedly.

“Oh? Why?” Sam smiled back with the boy’s thought. See? Pure and innocent. Why couldn’t Dean see it?

“Because you are so cool”, Jack grinned.

“And what makes you think so?” Sam put down his fork and looked at Jack in amusement.

“Well, you’re smart and strong. You’re kind and generous”, Jack said energetically. Then, he bit his bottom lip with what’s coming next “And, you’re really tall and handsome”.

“Thanks, Jack”. Sam chuckled. He couldn’t help caressed Jack’s cheeks. Could you blame him? The kid was too adorable not to. And Jack knew that Sam loved it, so he enjoyed himself in the immaculate touch.

They went back to eat in a comfortable silence. Then they both decided to watch some random episode of Star Wars after another success training session for Jack.

In the middle of the show, Jack glanced at Dean’s room. It’s closed as usual. He bit his lip then and there and glanced at Dean’s room every thirty seconds.

“What’s that, Jack? Are you holding something?” Sam asked. The man didn’t look at Jack. He clearly noticed all of Jack’s concerns without even taking his eyes off the laptop.

“Nothing”, Jack forced himself to look at the screen but his voice sounded “so convincing”.

“Yeah, right”, Sam replied. And Jack knew it. Jack knew that the man didn’t believe. And he also knew that Sam wouldn’t ask more. But it’s too obvious, even for a kid, Sam didn’t need to, because Jack couldn’t hide anything from Sam. The boy clearly had a weakness which was spelled S-A-M.

“I want to ask you something”, the boy gulped, “but I don’t want Dean to kill me”.

Sam looked at Jack. The kid looked actually worried like this was really serious that Dean could kill Jack. And it hit Sam.

“Jack”, his eyes went enlarged, “Please don’t tell me you messed with the Impala”. Now Sam looked so worried. This could actually be it. And Sam might not be possible to save Jack if it’s something about Dean’s precious.

“What?” Jack titled his head. “I would never”, Jack said firmly.

Sam let out a small sigh of relief. He chuckled and looked at Jack with warmth. “Then buddy, you don’t need to be worried about that. Whatever you do, Dean won’t kill you unless it’s about the Impala”. Sam smiled.

“I’m not so sure about that”, Jack avoided Sam’s eyes.

“Hey”, the man said with such love in his voice, “Whatever it is, you know you can tell me, right?”

Jack looked back at Sam. There’s a bit of doubt in his heart, but it’s Sam they’re talking about. There’s nothing about Sam to be doubted. So Jack took a deep breath and closed his eyes before typing something on Sam’s laptop. Jack didn’t let Sam see the screen, though. So Sam watched him in curious.

Jack bit his lip unsurely. This could end everything he’d been building. But again, Lonnie was the one who built it for him. And it’s Lonnie’s idea for this. And Lonnie, even when he’s clearly a dick, had never been wrong for once. So yeah, this was Jack listening to Lonnie.

“Please promise me you won’t be mad”, Jack sounded like a kid who asked his father for forgiveness in advance. And that meant whatever happened next, it couldn’t be good. Sam was a little bit nervous at the moment.

“Okay”, the man replied.

“So”, Jack started, “I’ve been studying about humans”

Well, that’s a good thing to Sam. So nothing could be bad about it, right?

“That’s good, Jack. So you have any question or something?” Sam was sure it was Jack’s wondering about something that he couldn’t ask. Maybe the topic was sensitive. It could be about genders, sex, or sexuality, or reproduction. And Sam knew how hard it could have been for Sam when he’d been a kid.

He had used to have tons of questions. And he’s lucky enough to have Dean by his side. His brother had never admitted and always acted like a goof, but they both knew that Dean had always been a smart guy. It’s true that if you asked Dean about history, he couldn’t bring any fact without joking about it. Or if you asked him about Spanish, Latin, he would give you some terms about sexual activities. But Dean could build a bomb from soap, an EMF from a walkman, a car from scrap. He read almost as much as Sam. He knew almost everything. But he always wanted to give Sam’s the credit of a smart Winchester. So he always acted so childish. Parts of Sam knew that Dean wanted to make Sam happy with every kind of credit, so he wanted to be Sam’s background, supporter. He wished the man knew how much Sam was today thanks to Dean.

“Yes. I have some questions”, Jack nodded.

“And I’m happy to answer. So there’s nothing for you to worry about, okay?”

Jack nodded, although he was still unsure about this. But as Lonnie always said, what else to lose? Jack licked his bottom lip and gave Sam the laptop. The man frowned at Jack before turning his gaze to the screen. It’s a photo of two little kids around five years old kissing. It’s an innocent kiss, of course, because Jack was the most innocent kid in the world. But Sam didn’t catch much of Jack’s idea. What exactly did Jack want to ask?

“It’s a kiss. What’s with it?” Sam smiled softly.

“I want…” he played with his leftover on his plate, “that”.

 Sam narrowed his eyes at both his laptop and the boy. “You want a kiss?”

“Y-yeah”, Jack said shyly.

Sam smiled softly. He could recall the day he’d told Dean the same thing when he found that cute blond girl with white dress. He hadn’t known her name, but apparently, she had liked Dean. And Dean apparently hadn’t liked her at all. That girl had cried for her mom to get her Dean but Dean as cool as he had always been pointed out that she’d not been his type.

“You can have it when you find someone you like. But you have to ask them first. Never kiss someone without their permission”, Sam humbly told Jack.

“So it doesn’t matter what their gender is, as long as they’re okay, we can kiss them, right?” Jack bit the inner of his cheek.

“Yeah, right”, Sam nodded.

“So”, the younger took a deep breath, “can I kiss you?”

Sam straightened his posture. He frowned and scratched the back of his neck. Of course, he should have seen this coming. He meant, Jack only had Sam and Dean. He couldn’t ask Dean to kiss him. So Sam was the only option left. He couldn’t blame the kid. It’s their rule that the boy couldn’t go out without Sam or Dean. So basically, this made sense. But making sense didn’t make Sam felt comfortable with this. The boy was barely a month old. Kissing him made Sam felt like a pedophile. It felt like Sam was taking advantage of him. Sam could sense the boy’s anxiety along with hope. He didn’t want to hurt the boy’s feelings, but he didn’t want to make things awkward.

Sam cleared his voice finally. “So, kissing huh?”

Jack nodded. His eyes were really full of hope. They’re too adorable, too pure, and too innocent. Dammit, Jack. Who taught you to offer those eyes?

Sam licked his lip hesitantly. “Look,…”

“You don’t want to”, Jack cut off quietly. His heart ached. Jack knew that he shouldn’t push Sam if Sam didn’t want to. But he was hoping so much of a yes that it hurt to find himself disappointed.

“Well”, Sam sighed, “It’s not like I don’t want to kiss you. It’s just…”

“Is it because I’m a boy?” Jack raised his question. When he searched for “kiss” on Google, there were tons of pictures of a boy kissing a girl. He hardly found a picture of a boy kissing a boy. So he assumed it was odd for boys to kiss each other. But Lonnie told him that it was okay to kiss any other boy. The man said that when you liked someone, you shouldn’t care about what’s in their pants. But it still bothered Jack. That’s why he thought shape shifter was cool. They could shift into anything they wanted. It’s not like he wanted to be a girl, but if it helped Sam to kiss him easier, he would. He had no idea that it would be ten times harder if he was a girl.

“No, no. It’s not about your gender, Jack. It’s just…” It’s harder than Sam had thought it could have been. How had Dean been able to answer all kinds of Sam’s questions? Sam gathered himself and went through all kinds of explanation he could think of. Finally, Sam shook his head. I’m gonna be damned for this, he mumbled.

“Jack, look”, Sam spoke afterwards, forced himself to smile.

“Yes, Sam?”

“I would like to kiss you”, Sam announced with all of his gentleness.

“Really?” Jack almost jumped in excitement. His smile was from ear to ear. He couldn’t hide his happiness. His eyes were shining and full of joy.

“Yeah”, Sam gave up. He offered Jack his dimpled-smile.

“Okay”, Jack swore that he would die any minute now.

“But”, of course, there must be a “but”. Jack’s eyes started to be fulfilled with disappointment.

“Hey, buddy, don’t be so sad”, Sam stroked his back, “It’s just, I don’t think we should do it now”.

Jack was silent. He didn’t like the answer. “It’s not true”, he mumbled.

“What?” Sam asked in confused.

“No, nothing”, Jack wanted to storm out of there. Sam started to give him gentleness while obviously he didn’t like Jack that much. And Jack hated it. He felt silly. What had Jack thought, anyway? Sam had just been nice to him. It’s not love. It’s just him being nice to everyone. Somewhere in the middle, Jack was sure that Sam said nice things about them being special to him to everyone. Because he’s Sam. He’s nothing but nice. And nice guys weren’t nice. Lonnie had always told him so. Just like he’s telling things about Sam now. But Jack was stubborn. He hadn’t listened then, he didn’t listen now. It’s just Jack being a fool for Sam.

“What’s wrong, Jack?” Sam could feel the atmosphere changed quickly. Jack was now so tense and it looked like the boy was angry and he wanted to run away. He looked hurt, just like he had just been betrayed, been kicked out of his own home. Sam knew Jack had been hoping Sam to say yes, but he’d not known that the no could affect on Jack this much.

“Shut up!” Jack growled. Tears started rising up. The boy quickly realized what’d just happened by the shock on Sam’s face. He immediately looked scared. “No, no. Not you, Sam. It was Lonnie”.

“What did he say?”

“He… Nothing”, Jack wanted this to end soon. So he wouldn’t tell Sam anything more.

“Jack, tell me. Maybe we can fix this”, Sam was like that again. His eyes were full of love again. Jack hated it. He hated being so weak like this.

“He said that you’re liar”, Jack looked at the floor, “Said you wouldn’t kiss me or anything. Said you just said that so I could shut up. Said there’s no later. Said you didn’t care”, Jack bit his bottom lip. He felt like crap now. Could someone stop this nonsense thing so he could stop being hurt? “Said you’re just using me”, and his tears rolled down from his eyes. So that was it, the feeling of being rejected by your crush.

Sam held Jack’s face in both his large hands. His fingers caressed the boy’s cheek and wiped away his tears. Jack sniffed, looked away. There’s no way he could be brave enough to look at Sam. But then he felt it.

The soft lips were on his lips.

Jack startled. His eyes went ten times widen and so were his pupils. It was so dreamy. He felt like a fantasy. His heart stopped beating and he stopped breathing. His eyes turned gold as the first day they had met. Jack gulped hard and stayed still.

It’s just then when Sam pulled back that Jack knew he was running out of oxygen. It’s just a touch of Sam’s lips on his, but he could feel all kind of wanting and needing. He unconsciously touched his lips where Sam had just touched him with his own.

“So how’s that?” Sam smirked at him. The boy was still somewhere in cloud nine.

“It was…” Jack said shyly, his heart ached. It’s a different kind of ache. It’s a good ache. “funny”.

“Funny?” Sam burst out a laugh.

“I mean”, Okay, this was lame. Couldn’t you find any better word, Jack? “I mean, it’s good. But I…” Jack blushed hard that he wanted to run away again.

Sam looked at him with a smirk. “Hmm?”

“I didn’t know how to react. So I didn’t feel much of a kiss. But it was great”, he avoided Sam’s eyes. It’s just too soon to ask for another kiss, he guessed.

“So you want a replay?” Sam asked. Suddenly, the man sounded all interested in the idea of kissing here.

“We can?” Jack turned his eyes to Sam in 0.5 second, asked with hope.

“Sure. If you want, though”, Sam winked at Jack.

“I do!” he didn’t mean to say it which such a high tone. But could you blame Jack? It’s Sam!

“But this time, you gotta listen to me, Jack. I’m gonna guide you to have a proper kiss here”, Sam said with a low voice. It sent Jack a number of chills. He had never seen Sam like this and he’d already wanted more.

“Oh-Okay”, Jack swallowed hard.

Sam leaned in, “First”, he breathed hard and hot against Jack’s lips. The boy grew all kind of goose bumps with it. “You should part your lips a bit” and whispered in the lowest voice, “to wrap on mine”. Jack did. And Sam gently put his lips on Jack. This time, their lips were wrapping around each other in turns.

Now Jack could feel it. The way Sam’s lips were moving softly and hotly against his. The way his lips were welcoming and craving for Sam’s. The way Sam rested his huge hands on Jack’s face and stroked it lovingly. The way Jack put his arms around Sam’s neck and held onto it like his life was depending on it.

And then it went messier. He didn’t know how and when. But Sam did ask without words for Jack’s permission for the boy opened his mouth a bit wider. And right when he did, Jack felt Sam slid his tongue in Jack’s mouth and lazily explored it. Jack moaned at the feeling Sam’s tongue gave him. But then Sam’s too gentle. The boy didn’t get enough of it. So Jack asked in silence for Sam’s permission. As the man allowed, Jack attacked the older man’s mouth with his tongue. He’s hungry for everything. He sealed Sam’s mouth with his and coiled his tongue around Sam’s. He kissed and sucked and bit Sam’s lips. He ate and devoured and fucked Sam’s mouth. And Sam left out a small groan in his throat.

Jack moved from his chair and leaned it. This wasn’t enough. He finally got Sam. He wouldn’t just give up on it now. It’s like there’s nothing else to hold back, or to lose. Jack didn’t leave Sam’s mouth for one second before climbing on his lap. Sam wanted to say something but got cut off by Jack’s ravening. So there he was. Sitting on Sam’s lap with his budge went bigger. Jack could feel he was dropping pre-come. But who cared? He’s a teenager. He couldn’t control his cock, okay? Blame God for that.

“Jack”, Sam left out a weak low whisper when the boy left his mouth for air. But before Sam could protest anything more, he hissed with Jack’s mouth on his throat, licking and eating the man’s apple. Sam’s mouth made a big O and he was panting. It’s been a long time since he had this. God, he had missed this more than he’d thought. Sam threw his head back and let the boy worked his mouth on his skin. Jack bit Sam’s neck and sucked it hard to leave several hickeys on Sam. Each hickey was done, the boy’s crotch got bigger. Sam’s mouth was dry now and he could feel Jack was moving his hip on Sam’s lap. Sam was no better. His member was aching. Looked Like little Sam wanted to meet Little Jack here.

Sam tried to gain control again, the man yanked Jack’s mouth back at his. Jack whimpered in pleasure. He could have never thought this day would have come. Jack felt Sam’s hands were all over his back and wandering down his ass. The man massaged it and let a growl out when Jack started riding Sam’s cock which was still screaming in his pants. This was too much.

Sam left Jack’s mouth for airs. He turned to meet Jack’s eyes. Their eyes were full of lust and desire. Jack smiled at Sam and tugged his hand in Sam’s hair. The boy leaned closer and licked Sam’s ear. He put Sam’s earlobe in his mouth and sucked. Sam thought he left a “fuck” somewhere as he bit his lip. His hands were on Jack’s hips now. He could pick Jack up at any minute now and carry the boy’s into his room, and take his virginity. Or he could just do it right here. He could just throw Jack on the floor and eat him out there. Or he could just push the boy against the table and fuck him sore that he didn’t know how to walk properly for weeks. There were too many options for Sam.

But one thing Sam knew was that none of his option including Dean stood right there watching them.

Sam freaked out when he met his brother’s eyes while Jack was still busy eating Sam’s nipples. He didn’t even know when Jack made his way down there.

“Jack”, Sam whined as the boy’s mouth was giving his diamond hard nipple all kind of attention. Sam’s eyes didn’t leave Dean’s eyes.

“Jack”, Sam cried out when the boy took a gulp of Sam’s chest. Dean’s eyes were full of anger.

“Jack!” Sam shouted as Jack bit his nipple. Jack jumped up. As much as Jack wanted to play rough, Sam’s voice didn’t sound much of pleasure anymore.

“Sam? What’s wrong?” Jack asked with his head cocked and his lips beat red.

“Jack, I need to go”, Sam pushed Jack down his lap and avoided Jack’s eyes. But there’s no way Jack would let it happen.

Jack tightened his arms around Sam’s neck and shook his head. “No, Sam”. He finally got Sam. He wouldn’t let Sam go. But the real question was did he actually have Sam?

Because the next thing Jack knew was pain in Sam’s eyes as he pushed Jack harder and more violently. Jack startled. He didn’t fall on the floor but he fell like he just fell into Hell.

“I’m so sorry, Jack. I can’t”, Sam said before leaving Jack there.

Jack held his breath, he wanted to say something but there’s something blocking his throat. He choked. This wasn’t right. Jack hadn’t done anything wrong. He had learned hard how to make Sam feel good. Lonnie had given him all kinds of materials and there’s no way Sam could just leave Jack like this without a reason. He swore he had seen Sam’s want then and there. Sam had wanted Jack as much as Jack had.

Jack turned his heals. He must stop this crap. He must get Sam back. Whatever he had done wrong, he could fix. Jack knew it. So Jack followed Sam’s direction. Just that moment, senses came back to him. He had been deaf and blinded a whole time till now.

“No, no, no. Dean, what are you doing man?” Sam’s voice came from Dean’s room. The older didn’t reply back. He was angry but he didn’t shoot anything back at Sam. Dean was just all silent with his teeth gritting and his hands were stuffing his clothes in a bag.

“Dean, please”, Sam’s tears were rising in his eyes. It’s a painful scene for Jack to watch.

“Don’t do this, Dean”, Sam held Dean’s arm but Dean yanked it back with force.

“It’s not what you think it is!” Sam felt like he could have a breakdown any second.

“Oh yeah?” And Dean started. “Then what the hell was that?” Dean looked into Sam’s eyes. He looked as much hurt as Sam was. But more than just that, he felt like he just got betrayed.

Sam wanted to explain that it was just an innocent kiss Jack had asked him but what’s innocent about that? He had literally been about to stick his cock into Jack’s mouth there. So Sam was stuck. He couldn’t explain. He didn’t even know how long Dean had been observing them. How long his brother had suffered that dirty show of him. Dean could have just thrown any fist at anytime. But the man hadn’t. He had just been standing there and watching his brother being a dirty pervert pedophile over a nephilim. But worse than the feeling of using Jack, Sam felt like he had just betrayed Dean’s faith again.

Tears on his eyes, Sam said quietly, “Just don’t go”.

Dean watched Sam for a moment before his tear dropped along with a painful chuckled. “Goodbye, Sam”.

And Dean left Sam all alone in his room.

Sam heard Dean’s steps, the slam of the door, and the Impala’s engine. And that’s it. Sam couldn’t hear anything else. He couldn’t see anything else. What the hell had just happened?

Jack slowly walked in to hug Sam. He mumbled something like I’m sorry, but Sam didn’t hear anything. He didn’t even react. He just stood there as if he’s dead. And then Sam’s mind kicked in. No! He couldn’t let this happen again. Ruby, Amelia and now this? He had had enough. He wouldn’t lose his brother again because of someone else. And even when he liked Jack, he couldn’t lose Dean.

So Sam pushed Jack back and stormed out of the door. He took another car in the garage and went straight in Dean’s direction.

So here we went again with Jack alone in the room and felt like he just got kicked like a piece of trash. One moment ago, he got everything he had ever dreamed of. Another, he lost everything. This world must be such a villain to him. After all, what had he done?

“Jackie boy”, Lonnie said quietly in the dark. His voice sounded sad for the first time. It felt like he had sympathy for the boy.

Jack’s expression was so empty. It’s as empty as his mind now. It’s as empty as his heart now. It’s as empty as his life now.

“I told ya”, Lonnie sat down on the bed. He didn’t sound like a dick anymore. He sound as hurt as Jack now.

“What?” Jack asked tiredly. He couldn’t see anything now. His eyes were filled with pain and tears.

“Sam Winchester would be that hella kinda crush of yours”, he replied silently.

“What the hell does that mean?” Jack gritted his teeth and tears were rolling down like they’re chasing one after another.

“It means he would crush your heart just like hell does to everyone”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should have just stopped at the smut for you to at least feel happy for the boy. But who am I kidding? I'm just a sucker for the pain. So I wanna drag you with me. Deal with it.
> 
> Also, thank you so much for your love and for reading this. Comment your thoughts of this chapter. I need to hear your feelings about this one. Love y'all. ;)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack thought it would be a good idea to have sex with another man who looked like Sam. But then, he's not Sam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your thoughts of the previous chapter are kind of wild. So I guess I must come clean as soon as possible for the boys. Sorry for complicating things, guys. Hope you'll like this chapter. I quite stay up until 2 am for this because I can't stop thinking about those poor babies. So give me some love. ;) And enjoy the show.

Things went sideway too fast for each of them to catch up.

Dean had been just wanting to take a piss, and then he’d found his baby brother doing weird shit with a nephilim whose existence caused he lost his mom, his best friend, and now his brother. He should have seen it coming, though. He admitted it. He should have known that if he pushed Sam far enough, he would fall into someone else’s arms. And he didn’t know if it’s a curse or a pattern or it’s just Sam’s type, but Sam had a history of falling for evil things. It’s like he’s too pure, so he gotta find someone who’s dark enough to balance him. Either way, Dean was mad. He’s mad at this entire world, the universe, its joke, God, angels, demons, humans, Heaven, Hell, Earth, the Devil, the Nephilim, his brother, himself. And when he’s mad, he drove. He drove away to clear his mind, to replay the situation and to a bar. Sometimes, it’s just the way he was. He better stayed away from his anger, closed himself. Because he knew, as long as he’s around, there would be fists, punches, pain, blood and disappointment. So there Dean was, driving in anger in the middle of nowhere.

Sam had been feeling so freaking hot. It’d been such a long time since he’d wanted someone. With his crazy life and crazy events like him dealing with Lucifer’s tricks, being in the Cage again, accidentally freed the Devil again, losing Dean to the Darkness, finding out Chuck had been God the whole time (a damn God who just cared about his books), teaming up with his nightmare which was also known as Satan, almost losing Dean again, getting tortured by some stupid British accent, teaming up with that awful organization, losing Mom, and losing Cas, he admitted that he didn’t have much time to think about himself recently. And then Jack happened. He’s so much of a young Sam whose life was defined by others. Sam found himself in the kid. So far, he’s nothing but a human being cursed, just like Sam was. That’s why Sam helped him. And the more he helped him, the more he found his redemption. The more he found his redemption, the more he found his feeling. It started with some small things. He noticed the way Jack look at him with pure admiration and idolization. It’s the way Sam looked at Dean. That’s why he assumed Jack as his little brother. He never had a chance with Adam, never had a chance to be a big brother. With Jack, he could. But then, Jack had never felt the same way Sam felt. The kid was more passionate about their relationship. Sam was a bit dizzy about this. He was in between of denial and desire. So he wanted to talk first, kiss later. But could you just talk while Jack was so young, smart and hungry? Sam had never planned to do this with Jack, and he could possibly regret for taking advantage of the young boy, but he couldn’t deny that it’s hot and messy and he wanted the kid so much that he felt terrible about himself. There’s a voice in his head saying screw this, let’s man up and face the kid like a man. And he actually screwed it. He wanted Jack so much that consequences were nothing to him. It’d been until it had happened. The voice in his head told him to keep pushing and the eyes in front of his face told him “Goodbye, Sam”. So that’s it, the consequences that he had to care about. He should have seen it coming. He should have known that if he kept pushing forward, there would be a day he lost Dean’s trust again. It’s not like he must tell Dean everything about his sex life, but this was Dean who put Sam before everything. And now it’s Sam who just put Jack before Dean because he couldn’t control his desire. For that, he felt like a terrible brother. And for that, he lost his mind and just followed Dean. He wanted to make it clear about the situation, about this whole thing. He knew Dean. He would never admit he’s wrong until Sam pushed hard enough. So the situation would never be solved if Sam didn’t do something. He couldn’t lose Dean for someone. It was hard to say goodbye to Amelia for good. But if it’s Dean, it’s worth. But Jack was not a one-night stand to Sam. He’s not Amelia, he’s not Ruby. He was something more. He was someone that Sam seriously cared about, not just because of his demon-blood-addict or a replacement for Dean’s absence. Jack was someone Sam wanted protect before the kid had been born. So he must come clean about this. And even when he wanted Jack so bad, he couldn’t just let his brother go like that. After all, Dean was his brother, the one he could die for. So here he was, fighting with his own mind, searching for Dean in the middle of nowhere.

Jack couldn’t stop shaking. He ignored the fact that his dick was still half hard. He ignored the fact that just a couple minutes ago, he had gotten all he needed. He ignored the fact that his lips were almost devoured by Sam. He ignored the fact that his mind was all crazy about Sam’s touch. He ignored the fact that there’d been desire all over Sam’s eyes when he’d looked at the man. He ignored the fact that maybe, just maybe, Sam had some feelings for him more than just being nice. He ignored them all. In stead, he focused on a hole in his chest when Sam had pushed him away. He focused on the empty in his mind because Sam would never want him the way he wanted Dean. He focused on the fact that he had ended their relationship by himself. He focused on the fact that he had tore Sam and Dean’s relationship also. He focused on the fact that Dean would hate him even more. He focused on the fact that he had hurt Sam. He focused on the fact that he’s unwanted. He focused on the fact that he’s pure disgusting that no one would ever want him. Sam was the only one who cared, and now he didn’t anymore. So that’s it. The only reason for Jack to keep on his stupid cursed awful life was driving away. He should have seen this coming. He should have seen that once you’re hated, you would never be loved. It’s just the way it was.

Things went sideway too fast for each of them to catch up. No one could have predicted that things would get ugly and messed up really well. No one did. No one did except Lonnie. If Jack looked closer in the dark, listened more carefully to the sound, he could sense a smirk, a winning voice from the man. There’s none of this that Lonnie hadn’t thought of. In fact, he had thought of every possible ways and each ways, he had thought of a resolution. And no matter what way happened, Lonnie had already been two steps ahead. Everything went exactly like what he had planned. And at the end of the day, it would happen exactly like what he wanted. So putting on some sad face, saying some sympathy stuff was just a mean to and end. After all, he had known it all along. And then, when the time came, Lonnie would be the only one that got what he needed. Not Jack, not Sam, not Dean, it was always Lonnie. He was the only one deserved it. Because he was the only one who’s worth it. Those people were just accidentally in his way. And Lonnie would never let anything in his way. If he gotta use a kid to get what he needed, he would. It’s not like he cared. He had no soul. His soul had been burn in hell for too long. So he didn’t care if he had to hurt all of these people, put them all in misery, he just did it if it’s helpful to his plan. If Jack thought Lonnie was kinda Dean, he’s wrong. The kid had no idea how worse Lonnie was. Lonnie would do anything that needed to be done no matter if it meant he must tear this world apart. Lonnie wasn’t Dean. Lonnie was the Devil he had never met.

So again, things went sideway too fast for each of them to catch up, except it was all parts of Lonnie’s plan. So he could predict everything almost perfectly, everything including the fact that Jack found himself in some bar downtown.

Jack had never been here before but then he’s here. Everyone was so into drinking, talking and touching here. He could see a lot of people making out in the corners of the bar. Some of them were laughing with some lame jokes. Some were just drinking the hell out of them. And he considered himself in the last group of people. Jack was sitting at a small table in some dark corner. Lonnie had ordered the boy some beer and some peanuts before following some girl that looked hot enough for him. Jack thanked her for that. He clearly didn’t hope Lonnie would be around him to say stuff like “I told ya so” or “Sam Winchester would be that hella kinda crush of yours”. He’s sick of it. If he heard Lonnie said anything like that again, he swore he would punch the man in the face no matter how crazy he looked in front of others.

Jack emptied the third bottle before letting out some small sob. Maybe now, Sam was confronting with Dean. Maybe they were fighting. Maybe they were kissing? Jack thought it odd. But again, like Lonnie said, when you liked someone, you shouldn’t care about what’s in their pants. So if Sam could kiss Jack like he had done, why couldn’t he do that to Dean? Especially when Dean obviously had a crush on Sam too, like what Lonnie had said? But he didn’t care anymore. He just wanted things to end. He didn’t know how to kill himself. He would find a way. But till that, he would want to stay away from Sam and Dean. He would stay away from everyone. Care hurt. Kiss hurt. Miss hurt. Crush hurt. Love hurt. Sam hurt. Everything hurt. Jack’s hurt. And even when pain couldn’t be erased by drinking his lungs out, he still wanted to do that. What else could he do?

Jack was half way through his fifth bottle that he felt a hand on his shoulder. The boy looked up to find a tall man with long hair looking at him with a concern smile. Nice. It should have been Lonnie’s joke. There’s no way suddenly there’s a guy who looked like Sam was in front of him. The man offered him a greeting something, but Jack was too annoyed to care. He shot the man a bitch face with his tired eyes before getting back to his bottle.

The man slid down on the chair without being invited. He was holding a beer himself. He looked good, though, long brown hair with beautiful teeth. He was wearing leather jacket just like Lonnie had always been wearing.

“Hey there. Rough day?” he offered Jack a smile.

“Go away, Lonnie”, Jack replied shortly without even taking his eyes off his drink.

“Lonnie? I’m no Lonnie”, he chuckled. “I’m Nick”, the man offered him a hand to hold.

Right, Nick. Like Jack didn’t know it’s Lonnie messing with his head. Jack looked at the man with no amusement. God, he’s such an emo kid.

Nick withdrew his hand after being ignored by Jack. “Okay”, said the man with an awkward smile. “Sorry for being annoyed. But I just wanna be your friend while you’re clearly having a hard time here, boy”. Jack didn’t even look at him and he still went on. “I know that look. You’re probably having a broken heart now”, he looked at Jack with a bit of honesty. Just a bit, before he decided to drive Jack all mad, “So tell me, who’s that asshole?”

Jack looked at him for the first time. But the look on his face didn’t show anything but nice and friendly. In fact, he looked like he’s about to tear the man apart. Jack gritted his teeth before leaning closer to grab a hold of the man’s shirt out of the blue. His voice was deep like a growl. “Listen up, you dick. I’ve been standing you enough. You can always humiliate me all you want.  I don’t care. But if you talk about Sam like that again”, Jack’s eyes went glowing but it’s some dark glowing, “I’m gonna throw you across the room until I break each of your ribs. You hear me?”

“Damn, that’s hot!” Jack heard Lonnie’s voice behind him. The boy looked back and forth between two men. “What?” Lonnie raised an eyebrow at the boy, “It’s not me, Jackie boy, if it’s what you’re questioning”. Lonnie leaned in the bar and crossed his arm before his chest.

“So, Sam huh?” the man spoke up. His voice was husky against Jack’s skin now just some inches away from him. Jack startled and let the man go. If this was just a human, Jack shouldn’t mess with him. Since he didn’t want to hurt people and since it would disappoint Sam. Damn! Even when his heart is broken, Sam was still his first priority. He absolutely needed help, Jack thought.

Jack sat back down and gathered himself before apologizing for being a short temper.

“It’s okay. You can make up for it by telling me your name, though”, the man chuckled.

Jack was still annoyed, but he was nice enough to say briefly “Jack” before gathering his stuff and about to leave the place. When the boy stood up and excused himself, the man also stood up and blocked his way. His hand was on Jack’s wrist, grabbing it slightly. “Come on, I just got to know you here, Jack”. His other hand was sliding up and down the boy’s arm, “Been watching you all night. I can’t just let you go without at least having your number here”, his voice was deep and dark. It gave Jack a couple of chills.

“I – I don’t have a phone”, he cleared his throat when he realized his voice was too weak as if he wanted the man to actually ease his pain, “So sorry, I guess”. He bit his lip and hesitated a bit. Lonnie, as helpful as he had always been, was leaning against the bar and watching the two.

“Come on Jack”, he leaned in and Jack took a step back. The boy gulped when his back touched the table. The man didn’t show any sign as he’s going to stop. Nick rested both of his hands on the table as he closed the distance. His face was an inch away from Jack while Jack looked away. “I can be exactly what you need here, boy”. The boy forgot how to breathe properly when he felt the heat against his skin. “Jack, come on. Don’t pretend that you don’t want this”.

Jack wanted to protest but got cut off by the man’s lips on his neck. As much as he wanted to shoo Nick away, Jack just stood there and exposed more skin for the older to taste. The younger found his legs weaken when the experienced man kept on gently sucked on him as his hands were staying still on the table. Jack closed his eyes, imagined it was Sam who was kissing his sensitive skin, whispering “good boy” then and there and humming all the sweet sound that made Jack want to come already.

An unwanted moan left out of Jack’s lips when he could feel the man’s hand on Jack’s crotch, nicely massaging his half-hard member. The man chuckled, clearly noticed that Jack had no experience. The thrill of having a virgin for himself made the man sucked harder and squeezed harder on Jack.

“Sam”, he breathed weakly as the man’s touch.

Nick stopped to look at Jack before giving him a gentle smile, “Let’s get outta here, baby boy. Imma be your Sam tonight”, he winked.

Jack blinked rapidly and swallowed hard. Okay, the guy looked hot and kinda like Sam. He hated to admit this but he needed someone to just make him forget about being rejected by the first crush of his life. Also, the guy seemed nice enough, so it wouldn’t be a trouble, right?

Well, it shouldn’t be a trouble unless Jack found himself trapped between two guys. As soon as they made their way out of the bar, the guy led him to a dark alley. Not like Jack minded being naked in public, because he had done it before. So he went with the guy’s ideas. Jack was against the wall with a man before him. The guy took his time to explore Jack’s mouth and while slipping his hand under Jack’s shirts. It’s cold outside but the touch of the man was like fire. His large hands were wandering everywhere on his skin while snuggling and biting Jack’s soft lips. His kisses were good, really good. But somehow, it lacked of affection. But who cared?

Sex wasn’t about love. Sex was just sex. Sex was just to please someone’s need. It didn’t contain any kind of love or care. It’s just desire, need, want, lust. Sex didn’t make someone marry you. Sex just made them come to you when they needed you and pushed you away for the next one. It’s just sex. It’s messed up. It’s ugly. But it’s true. And sex clearly wasn’t enough for Sam to stay by his side. And sex wasn’t enough for Jack to stop his tears from falling.

Jack didn’t feel much pleasure now anymore. All he could feel was the pain growing in him like a ton of bricks. The more the man touched him, the worse he got. He just wanted Sam. And no matter how familiar this guy looked comparing to Sam, he’s not Sam. His lips were not soft enough, his hands weren’t large enough, his fingers weren’t long enough, his hair didn’t smell good enough, his tongue didn’t move flexible enough, his breath wasn’t hot enough, his kisses weren’t possessive enough, his touch didn’t drive him crazy enough, his smile wasn’t beautiful enough and his dimples weren’t shine enough. On top of all things, his scent wasn’t strong enough.

Jack was losing in his thoughts before realizing the man’s mouth was sealing his mouth while his hands were tugging the boy’s jeans. Jack said between kisses, “Nick”, he managed to breath. Jack grabbed Nick’s hands to stop the man, “Nick”, but the older shoved his hands away. “Nick, please”, he begged the man to stop in an unstable voice before the man yanked his pants down.

Jack widened his eyes and pushed the man away. He might not be strong but strong enough to do that. The man was pushed three steps back and managed not to fall on the ground. “What?” he panted. Nick looked confused as he saw Jack bit his lips. Then he stepped in and stopped Jack’s hands when the boy intended to pull his pants up.

“What are you doing, boy?” Nick grabbed Jack’s hand. Eyes looked directly straight to Jack’s.

“I’m…” Jack avoided the man’s eyes. “I don’t feel like it, anymore. So I’m sorry, but I’m leaving”. Jack said quietly.

But the man didn’t have it. He spoke, almost sounded like a growl. “No”.

“What?” Jack frowned at him.

“I said no”, he tightened his hands around Jack’s wrist, which caused the boy flinch.

A second later, Jack found himself got pinned against the wall by the weight of the adult. “Nick, let me go”, Jack demanded but he was replied by a smirk. “Letting a good piece of virgin ass go? Nah, I don’t think so, boy”.

“Let me go, Nick. I don’t wanna hurt you!” Jack said warningly.

“Oh?” he chucked in amusement. “Whatcha gonna do, baby?” he raised an eyebrow to dare.

Jack took a deep breath and thought of his power. He was practicing it hard enough. He could have used it then, he could use it now. And just as nice as his life was, his power went off. “Damn it, just work, please!” Jack mumbled.

Nick waited until he bit his bottom lip, “Just like I thought”, and he stepped forward again. “Stay there!” Jack shouted as he stepped back. This wasn’t nice. He gotta do something before this man took advantage of him. He gotta come up with something to protect himself as a human since now he got no power. Why couldn’t he use it, anyway?

But it didn’t matter. Because half of him was human, so when things came, the other instinct kicked in. Literally kicked in, as he found himself kicked right in the man’s crotch and left him in pain.

Nick fell down with a curse. “I’m so sorry”, Jack apologized before running away from there. But since when had his life been easy? Right when the boy was out of alley, there were a couple of large arms around his body. He looked up, there’s a guy who looked kinda like Dean. What the hell? Was this a joke? But he had no time to have an answer as the man picked him up and dragged him back in the alley. He kicked and shouted, but nothing happened. Damn you, power. Where the heck were you when he needed you the most?

As he got thrown in the alley again, he heard Nick hissed at his pain. “Dammit, kid. You shouldn’t have done that!”

“Dude, you’re okay?” the shorter man said.

“Do I look like okay to you?” Nick barked, “This kid just kicked me in the ball! For fuck sake!”

The other couldn’t help but laugh. “You got kicked in the ball by a 15-year-old boy? Nicky, you’re lame as fuck. Literally, lame as fuck”

“Shut up!” the long-haired dude growled before turning to Jack.

Jack was standing against the wall and ready to fight anything that moved. But as lacking of fighting experience, he got trapped easily with his back facing the wall. The shorter man blocked his throat by one of his arms. Another arm was squeezing his shoulder hard that he thought if he’s a human, he could easily get a disordered shoulder now.

“Let me go!” Jack shouted.

“Enough with the game!” Nick shouted back.

The man walked towards them and rested his hand on the boy face before forcing him into a kiss. Jack struggled and both of the men tightened their grab around him. As Nick slid his tongue in, Jack bit it hard enough to make him withdraw with his mouth full of blood and curse. “Fuck!” he growled. The boy smirked with the result. But he couldn’t enjoy his victory for one second when Jack felt a fist flew right into his nose.

“Behave!” The shorter scolded.

Jack gritted his teeth. He swore to Sam that he would love to kill these two any minute and would never regret if he had his power here. And again, why couldn’t his power wake up?

“On your knee!” Nick demanded.

“What?” Jack asked.

“Are you deaf?!”

“I…”

Jack got cut off by a kick on his legs. He lost his balance and fell onto the ground. Not a second later, he felt a hand yanked his head up by grabbing a bunch of his hair. Jack panted, his eyes were wary.

“What do you want?” asked Jack with an angry voice.

“What do we want?” Nick burst out a humiliating laugh and looked at his friend, “What do you want, Joe?”

So the shorter whose name was Joe gave him a dirty smirk, “Let me think. How about giving this bad boy a punish he deserves?”

Jack’s blood got all heat up. He swallowed hard at the idea of being toyed by two adult strangers. This wasn’t good. This was all terrible. What had he thought when he’d said yes to that man? He needed to get out of here as soon as possible. But his power was nowhere to be found and his strength as a human wasn’t enough to win these two. Think like Sam! Think like Sam, Jack! The boy reminded himself. What would Sam do if he got stuck in this situation? He wouldn’t let them win. He would fight back. He would show these two how badass he was. But the problem was that Jack wasn’t Sam. He had never been Sam and could never been Sam.

“Should have thought it better before running from of your family and getting to a bar”, Nick spoke once he tightened his grip around Jack’s hair, “A bar isn’t a nice place for kids. Especially, there are tons of perverts there, boy”, Nick licked Jack’s face before whispering against his skin, “So Daddies are gonna teach you a good lesson here, Jack.”

Jack gasped. Those words weren’t excited as he had imagined before. If it’s Sam, sure as hell he would say yes to any kind of freak show. But it’s not him. It’s just a couple of monsters who looked like Sam and Dean. And there’s no way he could feel good about this. This was disgusting and terrible and horrible.

Jack looked at Lonnie who was just sitting on trash can for help. The boy looked so scared and so small as if he was just a tiny little toy in the hand of two dirty sons of bitches. His body was trembling like an earthquake and his eyes were tearing up. “Help me”. Jack said in a broken voice caused by fear and scream.

But in responding to him, Lonnie was just sitting still and smirked. “What?” The man cocked his head and said in a calm voice. “Don’t look at me like that, Jack. I’m in your head. I can’t do anything”.

“But you can use my body”, he cried out. “Do something!”

“Oh Jackie boy”, Lonnie jumped up and shook his head, “If I were you, I wouldn’t say that”.

Jack couldn’t understand what that dick said, but it didn’t take long for him to get it. Because the next thing he knew was a laugh of victory from two men standing in front of him.

“Heard that, bro? He said we could use his body. So now, now, this is a nice invitation from our sweet boy here. So man up, Joe! Show him what you got! Please this boy!” he patted the shorter man’s shoulder for encouraging.

“My honor, bro”, he replied before yanking down his zipper.

“Oh no no! Please! No!” Jack’s eyes went widened in horror. He squeezed his eyes shut and looked away. This must be a dream. This was just a dream. This was a nightmare. He could get up any minute now. He could. He knew he could. And he’d see Sam again. And Sam would be there for him and hug him and love him. It would be like that. It must be like that.

“Open your fucking mouth!” Nick roared. And when Jack didn’t, he punched the boy and gripped his hair tighter. Jack whined through the pain but he kept his mouth closed. There’s no way he would do that.

But it was too soon before Jack was aware of being choked. “Let’s see how long you can take it, bad boy”, he chuckled. Nick strangled Jack’s throat more and more. The expression in his face said that he would likely enjoy this. There’s no rush in this situation. It was just gonna be slow and cruel. And Jack couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t close his mouth forever. But he knew as soon as he opened it, that ugly dirty, could be unhealthy, cock would be stuffed in his mouth. And he didn’t want to. Jack’s tears were like a waterfall. This was too much. Please, someone put him out of his misery. He prayed. He prayed for someone, anyone. He just needed someone. He prayed for Sam.

Nothing. Nothing happened. It was just him and two monsters. It was just him being in pain. It was just him being rejected by his crush. It was just him suffering a broken heart. It was just him deciding to get drunk to forget. It was just him saying yes to that man. And now it was just him paying for what he’d done. “Living was hard, mom. Take me with you”, he thought.

And after awhile, he lost it! He didn’t care anymore. He’s ready to take whatever it was. Why cared now when nobody cared. He could just take it and then called it a night. He didn’t bother struggle anymore, because he’s tired of it. So let it be what it’d be. Whatever it was, he just didn’t care anymore. Jack opened his mouth for air.

This was it! The moment when he wished he had never been born. Jack gulped and shut his eyes. He panted. He knew that no matter what happened next, it was just messy and hard and painful. But it’s okay. It’s not like someone would stop this crazy thing from actually happening. It’s not like Sam would show up from no where and shouted “Stop!” to them. It’s not like Sam would point his gun towards them with his dark eyes as he’s ready to cross any line and murder them for his boy. It’s not like that at all.

Well, it was except the fact that it’s like that. Almost.

_Bang._

Jack startled by the sound of a gun. He opened his eyes to find out who was standing there in the dark. “I said, let him go!”

That voice. The voice he was in love with. The voice he wished he could hear every night by his side. The voice of the first person he had met. The voice of the purest soul he had ever seen in this planet.

“Sam!” he cried out in happiness. The man looked angry but when he turned his gaze from these two dicks to Jack, he still offered the boy his soft look with a smile. It’s like to assure Jack it was okay, that he’s safe, that no one could ever touch him now. Or it’s just because Jack was crazy and paranoid. It didn’t matter. The matter was Sam’s here.

“Oh? So this is the infamous Sam?” Nick smirked when he kneeled down next to Jack, “Your boy looks so happy when he sees you now. Aww, pure love huh?” he kissed Jack before continued, “So tell me, Sam, do you know your boy here is quite hungry for your dick? Cuz he couldn’t stop calling your name while I was touching him”

“Please, stop!” Jack whined.

“Why? He seems to like it. Don’t you think you should let Daddy know how much you want him here?”

Jack stayed silent. His heart beat fast and loud. What now? Would Sam want to hear it? Would Sam want to know how Jack felt about him? Sam knew Jack wanted him because they almost had sex, but sex wasn’t love. And Jack didn’t want Sam. Jack needed Sam. It’s not because Sam could meet what Jack’s body needed, but because Jack loved the man. And he knew he could never say it, because Sam’s pure, and he’s stained. It’s because Sam was good and Jack was evil. He could never reach out for him.

“Yes”, Sam said firmly, “I do want to know”.

Jack couldn’t believe in what he’d just heard. “Sam?” he asked quietly.

Nick smirked at the scene. The dirty scum stood up and proposed, “So Sam, what if we let you join us here? What cha say? We’ll let you have the boy’s virginity. Cuz, welp, after all, you’re his Daddy here”.

Sam licked his lips “Sounds fun”. Jack’s heart stopped. Sam offered a smirk as he putting his gun back at his waistband. “But I lead the show. Deal?”

“Deal”. Nick said.

Sam walked towards them. Each step of his was another ton in Jack’s heart.

“Sam?” Jack’s expression was blank. Was Sam going to take him as a toy too? No love, no affection, no care? Just a toy which can please him? A toy which can please all men? Had Jack always been like that to Sam? Now thinking again, Jack felt like being toyed by two monsters wasn’t his nightmare at all. Being toyed by the only one he loved was. The pain went through him was even deeper and worse than the feeling of being raped till death.

“I told you, Jack, didn’t I? He’s a liar. He doesn’t give a crap about you. He’s just using you like everyone else. The nicest man is the worst man. I told you so, Jackie boy. I did!” Lonnie stood next to Jack as he watched the man approached. Jack couldn’t help the tears from his eyes. They’re too heavy to hold back.

Nick and Joe kept the boy still but stepped away to make more room for Sam. The hunter stood there with an unreadable expression before giving the first order. “On your foot!” his voice was dark and deep. This was Sam, his Sam. Should he be glad? Should he be happy about it? He didn’t know. He couldn’t think anymore. But he did what he’s told.

“Good boy”, Sam praised as he stepped in their personal space. Should he be proud of pleasing Sam? Should he be ashamed of still wanting Sam after all of this? Jack should look away. He couldn’t face it. He couldn’t face Sam like this.

Sam left his hand on Jack’s face and leaned in. “What cha say, Jack?” The man’s lips were just a thin air away from Jack before he haunted his hot dark breath against Jack’s mouth, giving his legs shaking and his cock exciting. “Would you show these two scum what you can do for…” he smirked, barely touched Jack, “Daddy?”

Jack felt like he had no strength at all. Screw morality. Screw love. Screw Lonnie. Screw everything. This was Sam. And Sam was always right. And when Sam said jump, Jack would always say how high. That should never be an argument here.

Jack didn’t know how and where his strength came from. But he did know he escape from the men’s grip and threw himself right onto Sam. Jack’s legs were hanging and wrapping around Sam’s waist while his arms were enfolding the man’s neck. The boy sealed his mouth against Sam’s hungrily. He tugged his tongue in and swallowed everything he found there. It wasn’t a kiss. It was a mouth slaughtering another mouth. Sam groaned. He picked the boy up and slammed him against the wall.

Jack moaned and pushed his hips forward as Sam bit and sucked his lips sorely and nicely. Sam was as hungry as Jack was. The man fucked Jack’s mouth with his tongue hard enough that Jack felt like he could die right now in the man’s arms. Sam made his way down from Jack’s lips to Jack’s neck. The boy threw his head a bit to gasp when Sam was licking and sucking his apple. The return of what the boy had done for Sam, he noticed, but this was way better and harder and fucking more experienced. Jack gripped Sam’s hair tighter and cried out the older man’s name when Sam put Jack’s nipple under his fabric in his mouth and started biting it. He twisted and sucked and licked and kissed and fucked it.

“Sam”, the boy sounded like a kitty crying for his mother’s milk. And it’s too hot for the others to handle. Sam chuckled as he let go of Jack’s nipple before devouring his mouth again. Jack couldn’t keep his hips still, he jumped and tightened his legs around Sam each time the man mumbled in his mouth with groan and growl. Sam pulled his mouth away from Jack. Both of them panted for air. Then Sam smirked and looked him in the eyes. “Look, Jack. Look how good you are. Look, how these scum are about to come just by the noise you make”.

Jack did and blushed at the scene. He could see how hard the men were. They were stroking themselves just by watching. He bet this could be better than any porn these two had watched, because no porn could hire a man as gorgeous as his Sam. Jack couldn’t hide his pride. The boy smirked at the situation. He was sure that they wanted him as much as he wanted Sam. He was sure he wanted to touch him the way Sam touched Jack. But nah, Jack belonged to Sam, all Sam’s. No one could have Jack but Sam. And no one could have Sam, but Jack. The boy licked his lips and squeezed his arms around Sam. The man looked at him. He swore there was love and care somewhere. And then Sam leaned in and licked his lips before whispering. “I’m gonna drop you down. Be good for me, Jack”. The boy was confused but he still nodded at the man’s instruction after let a sigh leave his lips.

Sam smacked his lips on Jack’s and tasted the boy while loosening his arms around Jack and let the boy slip down from him. Jack didn’t want to, because it was so good to press against Sam like that, to hold on Sam like a kitten, to hang on him as if his life depended there. But Jack did anyway. He put one after another leg of him on the ground while keeping kissing and swallowing Sam’s lips with his arms pulling Sam closer.

“Jack, let go of me”, Sam whispered against Jack’s lips. It was low and dark and hot. And Jack followed. He took his arms back and felt empty once he did it. The lack of warmth and touch killed him already.

Sam licked his lips before turning to those bastards who were busying stroking themselves. “Hey. Why do you stop, man?” Nick panted. “Go back to claim him”, Joe followed right after.

Sam smirked. His eyes were dark and haunting. “Oh yes, I would. I would claim him nice and slow and rough”. Jack’s face was all red. He couldn’t wait for that part happen. Dammit! He was around a month old and he had already been this sick.

“But not with your dirty eyes on my boy”, he shook his head and pulled out his gun. Before Jack could process the fact like Sam just called him his boy and these two could know what the hell was going on, two gun shot fired and followed by screams and cursed.

Jack startled as he watched Sam shot the two on the legs. The kneeled down, bleeding.

“What the fuck is that for?” Nick roared at him.

Sam closed the distance once he stood in front of the long-haired man. He lifted the scum’s chin and looked right into his eyes, “That’s for desiring what’s mine” and he punched the man multiple times with cold-hearted look. When the man’s face was hardly recognized, Sam kicked him in the chest. Nick was crying and whining. Then Sam looked at Joe who was trying to escape his anger. Sam grabbed his hair and shoved the gun in the man’s mouth. “Now. You wanted to be sucked right? How about I let your brain to be sucked by my bullets?”

“No, please. I’m sorry. I didn’t know he’s yours”.

Sam punched him by his gun and gripped his hair harder. “He can walk naked and you never have any rights to touch him or even lay your eyes on him. It’s just what educated people do. You don’t screw people without their permission!” And he punched the man harder. His eyes were covering with anger and pain.

And then he let go of him. “I should have killed you two and spare this world from two monsters. If I was my brother, I would. But you should thank God that I wasn’t him. If I ever see you again trying to harassment anyone else ever again, I would make you wish you weren’t born in the same time with me. Hear me?!” They nodded in terrify and Sam just gritted his teeth before leaving with Jack.

Once they’re the car, Sam drove them far from the scene. There’s an uncomfortable silence that Jack felt like he’s about to go crazy. They’re driving for awhile before Sam pulled up in the middle of nowhere. And then, Sam broke the silence.

“What were you thinking, Jack?” it sounded sad, concerned, worried, and a bit angry. And Sam’s eyes weren’t on Jack. He was just starring in the dark road.

“I’m sorry”, Jack mumbled. He looked down on his knees. Jack bit back the feeling of disappointing Sam.

Sam sighed, “Do you have any idea of how worried I was when I got back and you’re nowhere to be found? Do you have any idea of how much I was afraid of losing you?”

Jack looked out to the window. To his surprise, he replied shortly, “No”.

Sam looked at Jack for the first time and the boy felt terrible when he replied like that. But it’s the truth. How could he have any idea when Sam was the one who had left him alone with a jerk like Lonnie? How could he have any idea when Sam was the one who had chased after someone instead of Jack? And now what? Was Jack supposed to apologize for this? Was Jack supposed to act like he was a bad son? Was Jack supposed to be sorry for liking the man so much?

“I’m sorry, Jack. It’s my fault”, Sam said quietly.

There’s a silence before Sam continued, “I shouldn’t have left you like that. I was just thinking about my feelings and forgetting about yours. It’s just… It’s just I made a promise with Dean that we wouldn’t hide anything from each other no matter how ugly it was. And when I hid the fact that I liked you, and he found out, I was afraid I could lose Dean again. And when we’re losing each other, normally, one of us turns into something un-human. I couldn’t let it happen again and I… I was chasing him”.

Jack stayed silent until he asked “What did he say?”

“Couldn’t find him. I can always find him unless he doesn’t want to be found. So I headed back”

Jack looked at the empty. His voice was steady and painful, “So that’s me. I’m something you come to when Dean isn’t available”. Jack wasn’t sure if it’s him or Lonnie saying. But he was tired of being used, of being toyed, of being himself.

“Jack”, Sam looked at him with gentleness, “It’s not true”

“Then what is?” and Jack looked right into Sam’s eyes. Pain and tears were in the boy’s eyes. He wanted to scream, to run, and tear everything apart. He’s angry with everything. Mostly, he’s angry because he can’t even be angry with Sam.

Sam licked his lips, “The truth is”. There’s a pause in him. Just like Sam didn’t know whether he should kiss Jack or hug him or just turn away and pretend nothing happened. But then he spoke up, “The truth is I care about you. The truth is I’m sick. The truth is I don’t know if this can work. The truth is I should never fantasy about kissing you. The truth is I’m not allowed of touching you. But I kissed you. And I touched you. And I want you. I want you so bad that it hurts. And I want this to work. But the truth is I can’t stand the fact that if something happen to you because of what I am, how sick I am. And the truth is whoever’s with me died or killed. And I can’t let that happen to you. So I ran away, because I was scared. Because when things went sideway, I always ran away. Because I could never brave enough to face the day that destiny comes back and bite me in the ass”.

Tears were on Sam’s face when he flashed back to Jess, to Sarah. They would have been alive if Sam hadn’t been messing their life up. Jess could now have her family, be a lawyer or something and her kids could possibly go to primary school already. There’s no day flying by without Sam regretting of loving her. Because he should have known better that he’s cursed and he could never afford love from anyone.

Sam was lost in his thoughts till a small hand was on his face. Jack wiped his tears away and laid a small kiss there. He was gentle and sweet and innocent. That scared Sam to death if loving the kid could make him face his consequence.

“Sam”, Jack whispered beautifully, “I don’t care about destiny. I don’t care about the past. I just care about you”.

“Jack…” Sam left out a happy sigh when the kid held his face and pressed his lips again Sam’s. There’s no rush, no lust, no hunger. It was simply love and care.

Neither of them said anything but something didn’t need to speak at all. And when they pulled back a bit, they looked at each other’s eyes and smiled. This could be something. This could be a start of something better and lighter.

“Let’s go home”, Jack suggested.

Things went better than any of them had expected. Jack had never thought his rebellious actions could get him the man of his dream. Sam had never thought his little boy could love him this much. And Dean, well, let’s talk about Dean later, then. But again, no one could have predicted those except one. In the dark night, there came the smirk of the real mad man. It was just a part of his plan. And none of this was out of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was about to pull more drama but I was thinking of your poor hearts so I let you enjoy some moment there. So don't say I'm evil again, okay? Stay tune for more dramas in the next chapter. And please drop a comment ;) Love y'all.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was supposed to be a normal shopping trip.

“Goodnight, Jack”

Sam gave the boy a kiss on his forehead before leaving the boy’s room. Jack wanted to hold Sam’s arms, pull him in, let his huge body fall on top of his, snuggle, cuddle, make out, but then, Jack just nodded and whispered the same thing and watched Sam exiting his room.

Jack sighed. He looked up at the ceiling for awhile in hope of making his eyes tired enough to close but nothing happened. He was just starring at the empty space like he wanted to discover if he starred long enough, would there be a hole in that wall above his head.

Dean hadn’t been home for a few days. He did pick up after that one hundredth call of Sam, said he was in the middle of a hunt or something. Jack hadn’t heard Dean’s voice during the call but he assumed his voice had been cold due to Sam’s expression. Jack couldn’t deny that he felt better without Dean around wanting to kill him 24/7. But he also couldn’t deny the heavy atmosphere around the bunker recently. This was like the cold war that Jack read somewhere in history books.

Sometimes, he wondered if he just vanished, would it make the situation better. He didn’t want to leave Sam, but he couldn’t bear watching Sam having this dark cloud above his head. He wanted to do something for Sam, but so far, he couldn’t do anything except moving that stupid pencil. He was fighting so hard for Sam’s smile but these days, it got harder to see these two dimples display. Sam tried to smile at Jack, but his eyes were too sad, too tired. It broke Jack’s heart to know he’s unable to make Sam happy the way he always wanted to no matter how hard he tried.

Jack rolled to another side. His eyes were barely close when he heard a mocking voice spoke up.

“What’s up, Jackie boy?”

Jack tried to swallow his anger and exhaled before rolling to the other side. But he knew better than anyone else that he couldn’t escape what’s in his head. Lonnie was sitting on his table and biting some apple. He was shirtless and wearing a pair of dark jeans. He always looked like he knew everything and it made Jack want to punch him so bad for that. His smirk always showed off as if he’s the smartest man, wisest man. But deep down, Jack knew this man was nothing but a jerk.

Jack still couldn’t forgive Lonnie for what had happened. Every time Jack saw Lonnie, he just saw the smirk of the man who had been willing to watch Jack getting violated. It drove Jack’s anger up. But he still didn’t know how to kick Lonnie out of his head, so he had been ignoring this dick since that day. This was temporary, Jack reminded himself. Once the boy studied how to do such thing, he would be happy to sleep for a whole day long without minding this son of a bitch messing with his head at all.

“Come on, you’re still upsetting about the incident, Jackie? I apologized already”, he pouted. Jack threw him a glare before facing another direction, avoiding him. Lonnie rolled his eyes at the scene, “Come on, big boy. You can’t just hold that forever. It’s just I couldn’t do anything that moment. You can’t hate me for it”. He jumped to Jack’s bed in Jack’s annoyance. Jack exhaled but kept his mouth shut. There’s no point in arguing or reasoning with this hallucination.

“I know what’s in your head, boy. You want to help Sam, right? What if I say I can help you with that?”

Jack sat up and looked at him straight in the eyes. The boy’s eyes were nothing but anger. Jack gritted his teeth and looked like he’s about to throw Lonnie out of his door if the man was real.

“What?” Lonnie frowned.

“Help me?” Jack finally broke the silence, “Help me like you did in that alley? You will help like that? Huh?”

Lonnie put his hands in defense. “Okay, look. I told you, I couldn’t use your body or anything. I was just in your head and I wasn’t strong enough to control you. You think I enjoy watching you getting raped?”

“Yes”, Jack said firmly, “Your smirk said that you enjoyed it so much”.

“Alright, calm down, cowboy”, Lonnie said with a lick on his bottom lip, “I admitted that I acted like a dick back then, but…”

“You _are_ a dick”, Jack cut him off.

“Okay. Okay. I am a dick. But the thing is if I helped you, which again, I couldn’t, do you think Sam would help you? Like if you could handle everything back then, would Sam protect you, show you that he wanted you and cared about you like he did? I’m afraid it would be a no”. Lonnie pointed out facts that Jack hadn’t thought of. The boy bit his lip. He hated when Lonnie always made sense, even though he made no sense at all. Reasoning with Lonnie was always a lost battle for Jack.

“So Jackie boy”, Lonnie continued, rested his hand on Jack’s back, “Everything I do, I do for a reason. You gotta trust me, man. I mean, don’t you wonder why Sam could find exactly where you were?”

Jack cocked his head. Of course, he had wondered before. But Sam was too sad for him to ask. “How?” Jack frowned at Lonnie.

“It was me. I put one of Sam’s phones in your pocket before you left the bunker. I turned on the GPS so that Sam would figure out one of his properties had left the house. He followed you to the destination which was the alley”

Jack looked at Lonnie with confusion. So, everything Lonnie did, he really did for a reason. And although he’s a real dick, he had always watched Jack’s back. Jack thought of it for a moment before asking the man in front of him, “So what? You knew it would happen?”

“Well, I did calculate stuff and Sam showed up. Actually, he showed up later than I thought he would, but he did”, Lonnie shrugged.

“What if he didn’t? You still watched me getting raped?” Jack asked with a heavy tone.

“Well, I knew he would. Because he cared about you, sweetheart”, Lonnie pat the boy’s head, “But if he didn’t, I would find some way else to help you. I mean, we’re friends. No matter how crazy I am, I won’t put my friend in danger without having a way out”, Lonnie winked at Jack.

Jack still found things hard to believe and the more he’s with Lonnie, the more he got confused. Jack didn’t actually understand if Lonnie was a bad guy pretending to be good or a good guy acting like a jerk. He just knew that Lonnie always made things seem legit, like everything happened was a part of his plan. Jack was too young to distinguish these, but it’s not like he knew how to shake this man out of his life. So for now, he just had to live with Lonnie until he found a better way for this case. Jack forced himself to accept any explanation Lonnie gave him in order to make peace for himself.

Jack nodded at Lonnie who was grinning proudly. “So what you say? We’re fine?”

One day, Jack would know Lonnie’s secrets. But today wasn’t that day. “We are”, Jack forcefully replied.

“Good boy!” Lonnie announced before jumping on Jack’s bed on his back. “Let’s think of a way to help you with Sam thing”

Jack didn’t really expect much from Lonnie’s ways. Honestly, they were all terrible and awful. Jack lied down and closed his eyes before Lonnie opened his mouth. “I think I found a way”

Jack lazily turned his head on Lonnie’s side to meet his dark smile. This couldn’t be good. “What do you think of a hunt? I mean you and Sam together, out there, hunting something that jump out of the darkness?”

“I study some but I don’t think he thinks I’m ready”, Jack replied. Of course he wanted to go hunting with Sam. What could be better than watching Sam in action and then maybe in the middle of danger, he could get a passionate kiss from the man of his dream like what they always showed on TV. But he must admit that he’s not really ready for the field. What if he messed things up and put Sam in danger? He couldn’t live with that. So call him a chicken all you want, but Jack wouldn’t risk Sam’s life for a fantasy of his.

“The hell you’re not”, Lonnie looked at Jack seriously. “I’m telling you this, Jack. If you want to get Sam fully, you must do what Dean does. You must show Sam that you can totally fill up Dean’s space”

“But I’m not Dean”, Jack pointed out.

“You’re not, of course. You’re better than Dean, way better. You have power. You have mind. Man, you have everything Sam needs. Now the only thing Dean has that you don’t is courage. Can you please man up and face the danger for Sam? If you want Sam to treat you like man, love you, want you, fuck you like man, you must be a man first, Jackie”

Jack let the words sink in. Lonnie was somehow right. Jack didn’t want to want to replace Dean, but he did want Sam to treat him like he’s Sam’s lover, not Sam’s son. He wanted waking up in bed with Sam, not watching Sam leave his room after goodnight kiss. He wanted to be the last face Sam thought of before sleeping, not the first thing Sam was worried about after waking up. Maybe he tried, but not hard enough. Maybe this was it. Maybe this was a way for him to have Sam.

Jack ran his hand through his hair. “Okay”, he spoke softly, “I’ll do it”.

“That’s my boy!” Lonnie rubbed Jack’s hair, “Now let’s go to sleep, boy. We’re gonna do it tomorrow”.

Jack smiled softly at his friend. The boy fell asleep with the dream of kissing Sam’s on his own bed.

\--------------------------------------

Jack groaned, his eyes sleepily opened once his alarm went crazy. The boy yawned before stretching his body and rubbing his eyes. He didn’t want to wake up, for sure. The young boy had been having some good dream of Sam. Let’s not go in details what he had dreamt of then.

“Wild dreams?” Lonnie smirked when Jack’s boner displayed. The boy wasn’t a shy type, probably because he didn’t know what it was to shy about. He’s shy when he’s with Sam, but other than that, he’s not shy to anyone else in the world. Of course, because this boy still thought clothes were unnecessary.

Jack rubbed his eyes and ignored the morning joke from Lonnie. He got up from his bed and went to the bathroom for a quick shower and got prepare for a new day. By the time, Jack was done, breakfast was also ready.

Without Dean, Sam took the responsibility for cooking. As much as Jack loved the man, he must admit that Sam’s food tasted so far from Dean’s. So after the first day of trying to please Sam by being his guinea pig, Jack gave up. He insisted to eat pizza or pancakes or waffles or anything that was cooked outside to save himself from being killed by Sam’s cooking skill. It’s not like Sam’s food was terrible. It was just his mood that added too much chilies or too much salt or too much mayonnaise in all kind of food.

“You’re up”, Sam smiled as Jack entered the kitchen.

“Good morning, Sam”, Jack smiled back.

They ate in silence with Sam searching something online and Jack watching Sam.

“Okay, what is it?” Sam finally broke the silence. It caused Jack’s heart almost jump out of his chest. “You wanna tell me something, Jack?”

“Well”, Jack started with a long pause, “I’m thinking of a hunt. I mean you and I, together, out there, hunting”. Jack looked at his pizza and up at Lonnie as the man gave him both thumbs up.

Sam closed his laptop to give Jack his full attention. “Jack, you know it’s dangerous out there right?”

“I do, but I study hard and I practice hard. So I think I should use what I’ve learned in reality”, Jack changed his gaze to Sam with a bright light in his young eyes.

“Jack…”, Sam started, but got cut off by Jack.

“Sam, I want to help people. I want to do this for you. I want to prove that I’m good. I’m not Lucifer”, Jack honestly said, hoped Sam would give him a chance, “I want to show Dean that he can trust me”

“Jack”, Sam shook his head, but there’s a smile on his lips. The man moved in and rested a hand on Jack’s shoulder, “Then let’s show Dean who you are”.

“So it’s a yes?” Jack asked to confirm again.

“Yes”, Sam nodded this time.

Jack couldn’t hide his excitement. The boy jumped from his seat into Sam’s arms and wrapped his arms around the man’s neck before kissed Sam hard on the lips. Sam kissed him back. Recently, kisses seemed like a normal thing for them, even though they both agreed to take things slow but Jack knew parts of him wanted to speed things up.

Jack giggled when he pulled back, “Thanks, Sam”

“No big deal”, Sam smiled and kissed his nose, “Now go prepare stuff. We’ll head to the North in one hour for the case”. His hand was rubbing Jack’s back and Jack wanted more than anything to just snuggle in Sam’s touch, to just strip his clothes and let Sam made love to him right there and finished what had been supposed to be done a couple days ago. But he knew that he should keep himself professional if he wanted to prove Sam that he was a grown up man now.

Jack kissed Sam one more time before climbing off Sam’s lap and heading to his room to gather his stuff. Lonnie was encouraging him all the way and Jack couldn’t help but giggle in agreement. He could feel it. This was the start of something he had been waiting for. He could feel that Lonnie wanted this to happen to because the man was even more excited than Jack.

Jack threw a couple of jeans, shirts, underwear, some of his books and his laptop in his bag. He didn’t have many things to prepare, though.

“Wait, dude, don’t you have to buy some suits to be FBI?” Lonnie asked when he was looking for something in Jack’s closet.

Jack cocked his head, “But I’m not FBI. I’m Jack”.

Lonnie opened his mouth in disbelief. “Jack, are you telling me you have no idea who you’re gonna be on a hunting trip?”

Jack still didn’t get what Lonnie’s mean, “I’ll be a hunter. Just like Sam”

“Oh my God”, Lonnie’s eyes got widen, “You actually have no idea who you’re gonna be on a hunting trip”, he rubbed his forehead, “Jackie boy, you can’t be ready for this if you’re this honest”

“Are you telling me that I have to lie?” Jack frowned at the idea. Lying was bad. Sam wouldn’t like it if Jack did such things.

“Yes! Because that’s what you do to get information”, Lonnie nodded instantly.

Jack didn’t understand. Why couldn’t people just be honest to each other and opened up? Why had to lie and hide the truth? It was hiding the real feelings that drove Dean away from Sam, couldn’t people see? Jack watched Sam being sad for days because he didn’t talk about it with Dean. Like, people just should say what they want already, just like Jack. He wanted Sam and he did everything for it without hiding anything. And so that, Sam wanted him back. It was that easy. Why did people have to complicate everything? Jack didn’t get humans sometimes, but maybe it’s a part of them.

\--------------------------------------

“Where are we going?” Jack asked as Sam drove both of them, well, three of them to the North. Sam was driving a 2006 SRT8 Dodge Charger with Jack in the shotgun and Lonnie was in the back. The car matched Sam’s suits perfectly, Jack noticed. The boy hadn’t seen Sam in suits but he must admit that Sam could rock any kind of clothes. The man looked huge and strong and powerful in those fabrics. Jack couldn’t help but imaging himself in Sam’s arms while the man was still full clothes, feeling his own body moving and touching the silk on Sam’s body and slowly stripping him off to the scene that Sam wore nothing but his tie. Damn. Of course, he couldn’t help it, not with Lonnie keeping reminding him so.

“We’re going shopping”, Sam replied while turning into another road.

“Shopping? I thought we’re going to deal with a case of two women with missing hearts?”

“Yeah, we are dealing with it. That’s why we’re going to get you some clothes for it”, Sam replied without taking his eyes off the road.

“Told ya. FBI stuff”, Lonnie shrugged.

They stopped at a big mall which drew a several amazed looks on Jack’s face. He had never seen something big like this, or watched too many people walking around like this or learned the fact that there were too many kinds of nougat like this in one place. Sam, of course, couldn’t resist a smile on his face while he saw the kid enjoyed the life. So he bought Jack a couple of nougats before leading both of them to the clothes floor.

Jack entered the elevator and it was like a magic box. When it closed, Jack was on the food floor but when it opened, they changed all of food into clothes. Jack couldn’t even close his mouth with the fact that humans could also teleport. They walked out and Jack’s mouth full was full of nougat asking Sam about human’s technology. Sam explained to him stuff that couldn’t be more amazing. He regretted never asking to go out sooner. But it was okay, he’s out now anyway.

“Hello, gentlemen, I’m Lucy. May I help you?” a young girl showed up when they were wandering around the booths. She was shorter than Jack, which meant she was kind of small, if you didn’t want to say that she’s tiny. Lucy had dark middle hair which got tied up and a beautiful smile. She was wearing black shirt and red skirt. Jack didn’t get to see many girls, but this girl was really beautiful according to Lonnie. Although the man kept on telling Jack that she couldn’t be as beautiful as his girlfriend.

“Hello, I’m Sam. I’m looking for some suits for Jack here”, Sam introduced them with Lucy with his bright smile. Jack bit his lip when he watched Sam. The man was so gorgeous that Jack wanted to kiss him right there. Ugh, he must be professional.

“Hello, I’m Jack”, Jack grinned and waved his hand at her, which made Sam giggle. Jack liked it. He liked the sound of Sam made when he’s happy. The boy noticed that every time Jack did something like this, or being a goof, according to Lonnie, Sam always showed his interest and amusement. Lonnie said it was Jack’s advantage.

“Oh, sure. Please follow me”, Lucy nodded and gave her billion-dollar smile.

They stopped where the suits were being hung. Lucy offered them some of her suggestions and Sam seemed to agree with that. Jack didn’t know why but he had a weird feeling in his stomach as the teenage girl kept on smiling at Sam. She even suggested him some new vest and shoes that fit his “perfect male body”. Jack couldn’t hide his annoyance anymore when she touched his shoulders in order to “find the best size” for that.

“You want me to get rid of her?” Lonnie whispered in Jack’s ears. The boy replied with an annoying nod. And Lonnie winked at his friend before showing up at her size and sneakily cut one of her bra straps. She gasped and Jack had to bite back a laugh almost slipping out of his lips. Jack didn’t know how frustrating it was to get a broken bra strap in public but he did know that it keep the girl away from Sam. She excused them and left almost immediately. “Thank you”, Jack whispered and Lonnie gave Jack a thumb up before following some nice chick. Sometimes, he did like Lonnie even when he’s a real pain in the ass.

“Well, let’s put these on you”, Sam turned to Jack. He was holding some of the clothes Lucy had hand him before.

Jack nodded. Both of them headed to the dressing room, but only Jack entered it. Sam was waiting outside. The man pointed out that Jack should show Sam his outfit if he wasn’t sure if that worked, but he wouldn’t watch the boy change. Jack kind of felt a bit of disappointed but he agreed anyway. This was for work, not for fun, so Jack would take this as much serious as possible.

There were five different set of clothes with different colors and different styles. And Jack tried them on. He looked even smaller when he put them on. Lonnie told him that he looked like some character in some cartoon with some baby wearing suits. Jack made a mental note that he would look it up and watch it when he’s out. He liked cartoon, they looked adorable.

Anyway, things were going fine for the three of them until Jack tried the fourth suit on. When he stepped out to ask for Sam’s opinion, he was almost mad. Lucy was there, probably had changed her bra, now looked even more sexy with one button down and showing off her boobs which Jack didn’t have. Sam was giving her smiles after smiles as if he enjoyed the girl flirting. She kept on doing stupid things with her hair and asked about his job, his interest. She was showing Sam some tie and knotting them for him even when he said he could do it himself. Jack felt the heat flowing through his face as his teeth gritting. Sam didn’t even realize that Jack was there. He was too busy being an ignorant sexy man. Jack hated it. He could be okay if that was Dean, because he knew Dean. But Jack found that this girl was nowhere near Dean. He wanted to punch something, anything. Jack stormed in the dressing room with rage.

“Whoa, what’s that, man? You look like someone just stole your boyfriend” Lonnie spoke when he was trying some tie. Jack didn’t answer. He wanted to tear those suits apart. It was stupid, being professional, while your man was flirting with other girl in front of you. Well, technically, Sam wasn’t his man, but Sam couldn’t do that to him. Actually, Sam could, because he didn’t belong to anyone, but Jack didn’t want that. He hated that.

“Wait… Your boyfriend is actually being stolen from you, right?” Lonnie stopped and put his head out of the door. “Damn! That girl is serious in wanting your man here, Jackie boy”.

Well, Jack didn’t even have to confirm it. Of course, she was. And it’s because she had boobs, definitely.

“Wait, wait… What are you doing?” Lonnie grabbed Jack’s hands when the boy was pulling gathering all of the clothes. For a smart man like Lonnie, he’s kind of stupid. Wasn’t it clear that Jack wanted to shut this down and just headed back? As soon as he’s done here, Sam had no other point to be out there and flirting with other people.

“Dude, you’re not giving up over a girl, are you? I mean, you even beat Dean, and Dean is a real hot deal here. You can’t just give Sam up for some Walmart out there. You’re Hugo Boss here, Jack.”

Jack didn’t understand half of the things Lonnie was saying, mostly because he was too angry and too done with this.

“Damn, Jack. I’m sorry”, Lonnie took a step back.

“For what?” Jack titled his head to a side.

“For this”, Lonnie said before throwing a punch right on Jack’s nose.

“Ouch!” Jack left out a high growl. “What is that for?!” Jack asked in pain.

“For that”, Lonnie pointed to the door of the dressing room.

Jack was groaning in pain before Sam rushed in a second later. There are horror and worry over Sam’s expression. “Jack, are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“I…” Jack struggled to find words, but cut off by Sam turning him around to check if there’s any wound on his body. “I’m okay, Sam. Don’t worry”, he said but the man insisted in checking him out. By the time he’s sure there’s nothing unusual on Jack’s body, he sighed in relief.

“What’s that? I heard your scream”, asked Sam.

“I… I stumbled… I didn’t mean to scare you”, Jack looked away. He’s afraid that Sam would figure out that he’s lying.

“Really?” Sam asked again to make sure.

“Yes, Sam”, Jack gulped.

“Okay”, Sam smiled, “I’ll be outside. You try them on, okay?” He rubbed Jack’s hair before heading out.

No, no, no. If he headed out, he would head in Lucy’s arms. Jack couldn’t allow this. He couldn’t let Sam out of his sight again. God knew what that girl wanted from his man. It was just a couple of seconds to think and his mind was blank.

“Ask him to teach you knot the tie!” a voice in his head, Lonnie’s voice, spoke up. Jack almost jumped. The boy grabbed Sam’s wrist just a second before the dress room’s door closed.

Sam turned around and looked at Jack in question. “What’s wrong, Jack?”

“Can you, um, can you teach me to knot a tie? I don’t know how”, Jack asked in a small voice. His head was down and his gaze was clueing to his feet.

Sam looked at him for awhile and answered with a smile “Sure thing, Jack”.

Jack tried to control himself. Still, he couldn’t hide his proud smile. He felt like a winner imaging Lucy was out there, waiting for Sam to be back when he’s here, taking care of his boy. Of course, Sam must put Jack as his priority. He wouldn’t ignore his good boy for some “Walmart”, right?

Sam looked at the ties hanging on the hooks on the wall. He picked a black tie and stepped closer to Jack. His eyes were shine and bright. He definitely just thought of doing his responsibility of taking care of Jack. And Jack acknowledged it, although parts of him wanted more than just it. Sam gently bended Jack’s collar up so that he could slide the tie around the boy’s neck. Jack licked his lips at Sam’s movement. His large hands were working on the tie skillfully and he was mumbling something, certainly, about how to knot a tie, but Jack was too distracted by how his lips moved. He exhaled, more like a soft moan, when Sam smoothed the tie on his chest, leaving Jack shiver with the innocent touch.

“You got it, Jack?” Sam’s voice kicked the younger out of his messing fantasy.

“Yes, Sam?” Jack blinked constantly.

“Can you knot a tie yourself?” Sam asked generously.

If he said yes, Sam would go out and get back to that girl. If he said no, Sam would be disappointed at how distracted he was. Jack bit his lip hard enough to think of a good answer before finally look up at Sam. This might work.

“I think I can. But can you stay and watch me doing this to make sure I’m doing right?” Please work, please.

“Okay”, Sam nodded and took a step back to watch Jack.

Jack nodded and he unknotted his tie. Okay, so if he could do that, Sam would be pleased, but then he would go out there again. If he couldn’t, Sam wouldn’t be proud of Jack. But screw it. He’d rather being a stupid boy than being a good boy and watching Sam being with some stupid girl, right?

It wasn’t hard for him to screw the tie up. Because even when Jack super concentrated, he still couldn’t remember Sam’s instructions. He moved his hands around the tie and tried to knot it. Instead of it, he tangled the tie and strangled his throat. Jack coughed and Sam almost died in a heart attack. The man threw himself in Jack like the flash and tore the piece of silk apart.

“Jack, you’re okay?” He asked and patted Jack’s back nonstop.

“I am”, Jack nodded in confirmation. “I am sorry. I wasn’t paying enough attention”, Jack continued.

“It’s okay.” Sam shook his head patiently, “Let’s try it again, shall we?”

“Okay” Jack nodded at the man.

Sam picked another tie. It was a dark blue one which matched Jack’s eyes. Jack paid more attention this time, tried to shake whatever image it was out of his head. So of course, he could do it this time. The boy earned the man’s satisfying smile as he complimented Jack. Taking a risk, Jack asked if he could tie the knot for Sam to make sure he could do this too. Sam, as a polite man he was, agreed with the suggestion.

Jack stepped in Sam’s personal space. The boy looked up to meet Sam’s warm smile before unknotting Sam’s tie. He was shaking a bit but trying his best not to show it. Jack tried to focus. He took a step closer, tiptoed a bit to reach Sam’s collar and bend them up. It had been a few days since Jack could feel Sam’s neck, Sam’s hair. He wanted to bury his face right there, but his mind kept telling him that he should take this as a professional. So he did.

Jack pulled Sam’s tie with one simple move that felt like a ton of weights. He sighed softly before smoothing the fabric. Jack got back to wrap it around Sam’s neck. This time, he touched the man’s skin there. He knotted it tenderly and quietly. Jack could feel Sam’s eyes were following Jack’s hands. Sam watched him in silence, which made Jack’s chest was about to explode by the beat of his heart. He didn’t need to meet the man’s eyes to know that his eyes were burning Jack up and tearing him down.

Jack nodded as his result. It was a beautiful knot and he did it quite well. Jack smoothed the tie once last time to make sure it looked good on Sam. And to do that, he unintentionally touched Sam’s chest. The man’s chest was large, much larger than his. It’s firm and muscular and it made Jack feel things. Jack held his breath as he moved his hand further in Sam’s jacket. The boy looked up to meet a pair of dark eyes. Sam stayed still and let Jack do what he wanted. Jack took advantage of it. The boy took another step and rubbed Sam’s boob lightly before tighten his grip and massaged it. He could see Sam swallowed hard as his apple rising up and down. Considering it as a good sign, Jack closed the distance between them and put another hand on the other boob and did the same thing.

The boy ran his hand all over Sam’s chest and massaged it as much as possible. Jack stopped at his tits and played with them. He’d read this somewhere that men loved their nipples being taken care. Following that article, Jack moved his tongue around and licked the head of Sam tit. Sam gritted his teeth to hold back a groan. His hands resting on Jack’s shoulder as the boy move closer. Jack played with one of Sam tits with his tongue and another with his fingers. Jack wrapped his fingers around Sam’s left tit and rubbed it gently before pined it hard and pulled it out then repeated it over and over again. Sam squeezed Jack’s shoulder a bit harder by that. In the mean time, Jack kissed Sam’s right chest and looked up at Sam. Their eyes maintained contacting while Jack took one of Sam’s nipples in his mouth and started sucking. It was slow and hot and messy. His tongue was moving so lazy all over Sam’s sensitive skin.

One of Sam’s hands was on the boy’s shoulder. The other was running on Jack’s back. And it was funny how turned on Jack was by such a simple act. He could feel his crotch got bigger and his cock got uncomfortable in his boxer. But Jack tried not to think of that, he wanted to make Sam feel good. Wanted to show that he could offer more than that girl out there could for Sam. He didn’t care how experienced that girl was. She could have sex with tons of people before Sam, but she had nothing on Jack. Jack was one of a kind, Lonnie said, and that he could take Sam anywhere and everywhere.

Jack bit Sam’s tit through his shirts and left it creasy. He didn’t take his eyes off Sam’s for once. Jack wanted to see what reacted Sam did. Smiling with the result as Sam smirked, Jack hummed around the man’s nipple before pulling it out with his teeth. It caused Sam a low growl. Jack giggled. He left Sam’s chest with one last kiss before lower himself. The boy kissed Sam’s clothes lower and lower until he’s on his knees. That was it. Jack and Lonnie were watching enough of those things to know what would happen next.

Jack kneeled before Sam. His hands were on Sam’s hips and his lips were on Sam’s crotch. The kid opened his mouth and took a gulp of Sam’s crotch, which sent Sam’s cock a shiver. He kissed Sam’s dick which was screaming in Sam’s pants to be out. Jack buried his nose deeper and rubbed it against the hunter’s member as if he’s a kitten asking for some attention. A dirty kitten, Sam thought.

Jack looked at Sam’s for permission. The man just nodded at him without saying a word. Well, words now were some luxury thing that they both couldn’t afford. Jack unzipped Sam’s pants with his teeth. Lonnie had told him that man loved this, so he did exactly what his friend guided. He’s happy that Lonnie was right because the look of Sam told him that he’s doing the right thing. Sam was stroking Jack’s hair like he’s the actual kitten here who wanted nothing but to please his master.

Sam was wearing a pair of grey boxer. His cock was hard and huge. Jack swallowed. He had been this far. There’s no going back. Once he took that thing in his mouth, he knew that he one hundred percent Sam’s. That Sam would own him everyway. That Sam was the only one who would use him any way he wanted. When Jack took it in his mouth, his virgin mouth would belong to Sam. And if Sam’s nice enough, Jack’s whole virgin body would be Sam too.

And he’s ready for it. Jack didn’t care what others said about him. All he cared was this moment, he’s with the man he loved and that man loved him enough to give some unholy thing like him his sanctity. People might think that he’s the Satan’s son who worshipped his father. But he sneered at them. His father was nothing for him to worship. It’s this man right here was a saint for Jack to die for. It’s him that Jack worshipped and sacrificed everything for.

Jack licked Sam’s boxer and caused Sam’s moan leave his mouth. Sam tightened his grip in Jack’s hair and pushed his hip forward. Jack was a teaser, he might not know that. But each lick of his drove Sam crazy. He looked so innocent, but what he did wasn’t innocent at all. And all Sam wanted at the moment was to break that mouth of Jack, to fulfill Jack’s mouth, to gag him, choke him with his huge cock that was screaming loudly. But he didn’t want to scare Jack, that’s why he took things slow and it made his knees weak.

However, every man had a breaking point and Sam was not good at some slow, nice sex. He was born for rough, tough, violent and hot sex. And if Jack kept on playing around like this, he’s afraid that he must step in and take action before he lost his patience and killed everything that moved.

That’s how Jack found himself being picked up and slammed against the wall of the dressing room. One second, Jack was still on his knees and another, Jack’s legs were wrapping around Sam and his mouth was swallowing by Sam. He bit the boy’s lips hard enough to make him whimper and hold back a cry. Jack gasped as the man tore his upper clothes apart with one movement. Sam’s eyes were darken and darken each second went by. And Jack couldn’t help but wanted for more. The boy bared his skin for Sam to suck on his collar bone.

“Sam”, Jack moaned as Sam suck hard enough to draw blood there. As a boy who didn’t have scar, Jack knew how rough Sam was to give Jack a hickey as if his body was just a normal body, as if he couldn’t heal from any damage.

Sam was everything but gentle. He was eager and hunger and thirsty. He’s the animal which had been starving that just found a piece of meat that looked delicious as hell. He bit and sucked and devoured Jack everywhere. And it made Jack cry for more, for the pain that went through him like a tornado. He had never felt such thing. The physical pain was too expensive to afford, too far to reach. He had stabbed himself before and it felt nothing near this. This was some kind of good pain that made him needy, made him a good mess. Made him Sam’s even, he bit his inner cheek.

“Are you sure you want this?” Sam asked when pulling Jack’s mouth for air. Jack couldn’t form any words, he just nodded in agreement.

“Jack”, Sam panted and dropped the boy down as if he had a second thought. “If we do this, there’s no going back. You must understand that”, he looked at Jack with honesty and respect.

“I don’t want to go back”, Jack said. His breath was unsteady.

“Jack, but…” Sam licked his lips.

“Sam”, Jack moved in and put both hands on Sam’s face, “I give you permission”. Jack leaned in and laid his lips on Sam’s. The kiss was soft and full of trust. This was not just a kiss. It was a promise, an assurance, a faith. Jack knew that Sam wouldn’t hurt him no matter what. And he completely gave his body for Sam’s treatment.

Sam opened his eyes that he didn’t know he had closed. Jack looked so small, so lovely, so adorable that Sam wanted nothing but protect. He’s not something to toy, to mess around. He’s born to be loved and respected and cared. And he deserved it. He deserved love that he needed. He deserved everything that he wanted.

Sam took a step back and lowered his voice. His tone was full of demand and dark.

“Pants off!”

Jack was shaking and swallowing at the words before he did what he’s told.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya sinners, I'm back. Sorry for such a delay, I was kinda dealing with some health stuff and it wasn't really nice. But I'm better and now I give you this messing chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. Give me some thoughts and love And stay tune. The game has just begin.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for another delay. I never meant to keep any of you wait. And I wanna say that I'm so happy for each of your love, read, comment. It kept me going. And it kept the characters going. I'm so grateful for all of you. Thank you so much for being here and observing this crazy messy story with me. Keep on being dirty awesome, y'all. ;)

Was it possible for someone who saw colors through his lover? Jack wondered, because Jack could see them through Sam when Sam started taking control. It’s a mixture among dark green, gold, black, blue, hazel, chestnut, opalescent and bright white. It made Jack feel high and low, full and empty, pleasure and pain, human and devil. It made every nerve of Jack tense, each corner of his brain exploded. And then all he could think of was Sam. And then the only thing having meaning in his life was Sam. Sam, Sam, Sam, everything was Sam.

“Pants off!” Sam demanded with such a dark voice.

Jack swallowed thick before doing what he’s told. Sam watched him in silence with a lick on his lip then and there. His eyes were dark green. The depth in those gems was too much for Jack not to fall right in and burry himself under it. Jack took a step back and hurried to remove his belt. The urge of wanting to make Sam proud, to please Sam, to do one good thing for Sam, to prove to Sam that he’s a good boy was as huge as the thing in his pants. Jack wanted nothing than hearing a praise Sam.

His hands were a bit shaking and clumsy. He panted as the stupid button wouldn’t want to get loosen. The young boy swore he was going to burst out his tears if it kept on being stubborn like this. Jack bit his lip to stop himself from screaming at his button until there’s a large hand wrapping around his smaller hands. A deep voice whispered in his ears: “Relax”. Jack looked up to see a pair of eyes laying on him along with a smirk. He felt his legs weaken as hot breath against his skin. His eyes widened when teeth gently tasted on his earlobe. “Just relax”.

Jack nodded as if that’s a usual reaction for such a command, as if he’s born for this, trained for this. So he slackened his muscles and let his instinct kick in without force. To his surprise, the button flew open leading to his zipper down and his pants totally off. Sam moved backwards to observe his boy. It wasn’t new to any of them because the first time they had met, Jack was completely naked. But it’s different this time. This time, there was sexual feelings and love between them. Well, at least, love was from Jack’s side. This time, Jack actually worried if he’s enough for the man, if he could please Sam better than Lucy out there or any other Britney. This time, Jack wanted to be the Jack to Sam’s Jill.

“Sam, is everything fine?” Jack heard Lucy calling out. And he’s afraid it would give Sam second thoughts.

Replying to the teenage girl was Sam’s chuckle. “Everything is fine”. The older man didn’t take his eyes off Jack as he continued “It’s more than fine”. Jack took several steps back as Sam slowly closed the distance between two bodies. “It’s perfect”. Sam’s voice was solid. Jack let out a sigh as he felt his back was against something cold, a wall mirror. “It’s perfect for me”, Sam growled.

Sam stood there, too close but too far. Jack wanted to reach for him, but he couldn’t find his strength to do such thing. Sam was silent, he maintained his eyes contacting with Jack’s. Jack wanted to avoid it, but the mysterious hazel kept him still. Like an unspoken order, Jack gathered his strength to keep him standing without falling on his knees already. Jack felt his heart beat too fast to catch up, too loud to hear any other sounds. He needed Sam to do something, anything, because he’s about to lose it. He’s about just to come by the look on Sam’s face. It’s a look that he could trade everything for. Jack felt like he couldn’t breathe anyway. People said Jack couldn’t die, but he thought he could. Because Sam’s killing the boy and he could feel it clearly. The more he stayed, the worse it got.

And then, out of nowhere, Sam lowered his mouth to Jack’s neck. And Jack begged nothing other than a fist around his throat as he bared his skin. “Tell me, Jack, what do you want?” Sam’s voice was too low for you not to tremble, too dark for you not to scared, too hot for you not to be weak, too much for you not to be insane.

Jack opened his mouth, but no words coming out. Nothing came out but his unsteady breath when Sam licked along his jaw and sunk his teeth in the skin on his throat. Sam’s large palms traveled all over Jack’s body, then kept him still by holding his hips which didn’t want anything more than to push in, closer them both. Jack’s hands were holding so tight on the wall that he knew if he was stronger, then the wall could be broken already. Jack threw his head back to show more skin for Sam to taste and the man humming around his skin sent a thrill down his member. Jack knew he was doing right, he’s making Sam happy.

“Jack? Tell me, sweet boy”, Sam asked again as he marked Jack with another love bite. It’s hurt enough to make Jack hiss and good enough to make Jack moan.

“I…”, Jack was finally strong enough to speak. However, he’s still a mess that he was swimming in his own vocabulary, trying to find the right words.

“Hmm??” Sam asked between the kisses he laid on Jack’s stomach. He got lower and lower until he’s on his knees, hands on Jack’s ass and mouth’s on Jack’s tummy.

“I want…” Jack’s hips jumped up when he felt a wet tongue playing with his belly button. He squeezed his eyes shut and gulped hard, “I want you, Sam. Want you”

And just like that, Sam stopped. Jack could feel the veins inside of him were about to broken off when he saw Sam’s eyes looking up. His pupils were expanding and his lips were curling to show a lustful smirk. Sam’s hands were running lazily on Jack’s smooth thighs, which caused Jack’s a silent moan and a bit on his lip. Sam didn’t take his eyes off Jack’s face for once as he yanked Jack’s boxer down, leaving Jack hanging in the air. The sudden move made Jack startled and Sam was amused by the scene.

Sam’s firm hands were massaging Jack’s bums as he kissed the boy’s thighs. Jack bit his inner cheek when Sam slowly made his way up and up and up until he laid his lips on Jack’s ball. Jack wanted to cry out immediately since his sensitive skin was being treated nicely. He could sense Sam’s steady sigh around them. Jack tightened his grip on the wall, because he knew if he knew if he didn’t hold onto something, he would collapse right away.

Sam could smell the tension in the way Jack’s hips moved rapidly when the man pulled his tongue out and licked the boy’s heavy balls gently. Responding to Jack was Sam’s chuckled amusingly. Their eyes were starring at each other’s. Jack’s eyes were lost and Sam’s eyes were home. The boy was gasping for air, feeling like his oxygen was leaving his lungs. Sam was licking like testing the water, seeing how long he could tease Jack, how far Jack could bear; how much Jack could stand, how strong Jack could be before losing his mind. And before Jack could open his mouth to beg Sam for something, anything, he cried out like a kitten crying for milk when he could feel his dick was deep down in Sam’s mouth.

Sam took Jack’s like it was nothing. He deep throated Jack from his first try as if Jack was just a little lollipop that Sam could always swallow without any concern. Jack bit down his bottom lip. His eyes were on his lover, seeing him watching Jack in pleasure. It’s blue now, like an ocean. The color went through him once Sam started moving his mouth, popping his head up and down, twisting and curling his tongue, kissing and biting. Jack wanted to shove his cock deeper and keeping it still in Sam’s throat, never let it go, never leave Sam, connecting forever. He wanted to make keep the feeling of being wrapped around, of being protected from now on. He wanted Sam.

Sam loosened the grip on the boy’s hips as an allowance for him to move. And as a good boy he was, Jack did what Sam wanted. He pushed and pulled in sync with Sam’s mouth. The kid shoved in as much as he could until Sam’s nose hit his sparse public hair, causing Jack the dirtiest moan he could ever let out. He drew out until Sam’s lips slightly touched the head of his member, making Jack whimper something as close as a prayer. One of Jack’s hands slid in Sam’s hair, feeling the softness playing through his skin with both Sam’s hair and lips around him. If he could imagine Heaven, this could be it.

Jack never shut his eyes for once since he needed to see Sam, to know that it’s truth, it’s not a dream. Jack needed to see Sam’s expression, to see how good Jack made Sam feel, to see if the man wanted him as much as he did. And Sam did the same. He never laid his eyes off Jack for once. They kept their eye contact, filling the dressing room with low hum and small moans. This particular moment was when Jack wished he would live in forever.

Jack felt a funny feeling rolling up in his stomach, riding through his nerves, driving him wild, forcing him to move faster and stronger. Jack panted as he sped up, yanked his cock into Sam’s throat more and more as if he wanted Sam to swallow it in his stomach and kept Jack safe there. Sam hustled as well. The man took all of Jack in and swallowed everything offered to him. Jack hit anything he could reach, Sam’s teeth, Sam’s throat, Sam’s pharynx as the orgasm building up in him. His cock was harder than ever before and his balls were too heavy to hang still.

Jack cried out Sam’s name when several of electric rays went through him and shoot out from his cock. It’s bright blue. He saw it. Even it was just a moment, Jack could see bright blue covering around him. He couldn’t see anything at the moment even when his eyes were opening wide. The overwhelming pleasure filled his visions up, made him blind, burned him up, and broke him down. Lines after lines of thick opalescent were freed from his cock and flew right into Sam’s mouth. Jack gasped at the smelling of his sperms were all over the place and at the fact that they were actually everywhere. They’re on Sam’s face, Sam’s lips, Sam’s mouth, Sam’s tummy, they’re everywhere. It’s like a beautiful color that was waited to be used for the best painting ever in the whole planet.

Sam drank him dry like drinking milk. The man hummed in approval before made his way up and kissed Jack. His sperms went from Sam’s mouth to his. Jack whimpered when the taste touched him slightly. Trading them was really dirty, but it felt so good when Sam’s tongue was sliding in and encouraging Jack to take them in. Jack swallowed them without being asked and got praised by Sam’s chuckle as the older man squeezed his ass firmly.

“Good boy”, Sam whispered between the kisses. The man groaned, the hot air was surrounding, hitting and touching him like a beautiful lover. And Jack thought he’s already having another orgasm.

Sam turned him around with one swing and Jack found his chest against the mirror. He could see Sam behind him, fully clothed and taking a look at his messy boy. “You’re so pretty, Jack”, Sam leaned in and sucked the boy’s ear, making Jack shivering with pleasure and happiness. His cock got tighten and painful again by such a small movement from Sam. The man smirked at the scene before tasting Jack’s neck and down and down and down till the boy’s bottom. He took his time to explore every inch of Jack’s skin and to explode every cell of Jack’s system.

“Ah!” Jack sobbed quietly by a sudden shove into his entrance. Sam’s hands were holding his cheeks to make them more open for the man’s tongue. His tongue shamelessly made love to Jack’s ass with long lick and lazy thrust. Jack’s legs tried their best to stand still, to not tremble like an earthquake each time Sam slid in and out, out and in like a rhythm. Heated exhalation hit his him right in the hole, made Jack feel like crying with too much sensitiveness around his bottom.

Sam withdrew his tongue and replaced with something else, something longer, thicker, and firmer with actual bone that made Jack hiss. The boy took a glance to see Sam’s fingers disappeared in his hole. And before Jack could feel anything, Sam entered his second one without warning, causing the boy cry out, punching the mirror in front of him.

Sam carefully fingered Jack. He’s tough enough to make Jack weak and gentle enough to make Jack pleased. He moved his fingers slowly, searched for something, tested something, made Jack moan his name softly. And when he’s sure that he found what he needed, Sam raced up and entered the third one. And Jack, even though he thought Sam was fingering him, he actually fucked Sam’s fingers. The man didn’t bother to move since Jack’s ass was pushing up and eating the hunter’s fingers like it’s the last meal on Earth. Sam kept his breath steady, not to show how much hungry he was. It felt like a teenager again when he’s with Jack. And he didn’t want the kid to know how crazy Jack drove Sam. He didn’t want the kid to know that he wanted the kid more than he could ever dream of.

It’s chestnut. Jack didn’t know why. As he kept on having Sam’s fingers in his ass, he felt the color around his head. It’s soft and firm, rough and smooth, thin and full. It didn’t smell like sex. It felt safe. It made him want more but also enough. It made him feel like home, made him want to move but also stay, want to sleep but also awake, want to burry himself in but also dig himself up.

Feeling empty as Sam pulled his fingers out, Jack turned around in a messy and confusing expression. Sweat was dripping from his forehead and red was displaying on his cheek. Jack watched Sam taking a step back and slowly removing his top. Sam’s abs was fully on display, ready for a show. Sweat lazily dripping from his tanned skin made Jack wanted nothing but taste the salty water. Some invisible heavy weight suddenly hung on Jack’s chest when Sam freed his cock from his fabric. Sam’s wearing nothing but his tie now. His flesh was so much alive. It woke something in Jack up and his mouth started watering and his apple started moving up and down instantly.

Sam was huge and hard. It’s beaten red, almost purple and it’s so thick and long. Sam put all the men Jack had seen from porn in shame. The light green veins on Sam were so strong and seductive. They made Jack want to worship him like Sam was a God, a religion. A hand was wrapping around the length and slowly stroking it after adding some lube. It made Jack want to shoot immediately thinking how it would feel inside of him and worried if he could bear that beast in him. Sam’s gaze leveled on Jack as he rubbed his groin. His lips were forming a dirty smile. “See what you like, darling?”

Jack nodded. “I like your penis”, he pointed out and Sam couldn’t help but burst out a laugh. Jack didn’t understand what’s so funny about it. He just answered Sam because being honest was a good personality. Sam told Jack so. Why was it funny now? He frowned as Sam’s reaction. He was pure joy because his dimples were showing obviously very clear.

It took Sam a moment to gather himself and finally stepped. He laid a kiss on Jack’s chin. “You’re so adorable, Jack”. And the boy grinned at the compliment. Jack wrapped his arms around Sam’s neck and kissed his lover on the lips. Sam tasted like happiness and bliss this time. The kiss was soft and slow and sweet. Jack could sense Sam’s smile against his mouth.

“Ready, Jack?” Sam asked as he left Jack’s lips for a second. The younger boy nodded as a response.

The two of them looked at each other’s eyes for awhile just to memorize this moment, the moment they found each other nothing more than humans. Those who needed love, needed to be loved, needed someone. They’re those humans who weren’t flawless, who weren’t perfect, who weren’t impossible, and who weren’t invincible. Man met boy, good met pure, hazel met bright gold.

Sam was the one who made his first move. The man leaned in and pressed his lips on Jack’s. They took a deep breath before Jack climbed on his man, legs wrapped around Sam’s waist. Sam lifted him up and pinned him against the mirror. Sam’s hands were on Jack’s hips and Jack’s around Sam’s neck. Their lips didn’t leave each other’s for one second. They explored everything, swallowed and devoured all things they could find on each other.

The nephilim was clinging on the hunter as if his life belonged to him, that it’s his decision to keep him alive or kill him off. He left Sam’s mouth once air ran out of both lungs. They panted but never stopped eating each other. Jack sucked on Sam’s neck, somewhere he knew Sam couldn’t hide, somewhere he knew Lucy would cry in the night knowing she wasn’t for Sam, that Sam was Jack’s and only Jack’s. Sam growled as Jack’s mouth working on his skin.

It didn’t take much time before Sam did what Jack always wanted him to do. The man held the boy still with one arm. Another one held his member and slowly put the bad boy in. Jack buried his face in Sam’s neck, sunk his teeth in the man’s skin to keep him from crying when the pain combining with pleasure struck him like a star. Sam was gently sliding his dick in and Jack was slowly seeing things. Suddenly it felt like he’s observing the galaxy. Thousands of stars were burning before his eyes when he felt the nice warm flesh slipping in his body as well as heated whisper of “good boy” coming out of Sam’s lips.

When they both settled in, Sam began to move and Jack began to rock against his man’s flesh shotgun. Jack’s nails were clawing Sam’s back. It hurt like hell for real. Sam’s dick was so much bigger than his fingers and thicker than his tongue. But it felt so good as well. His penis was so much warmer, hotter and filling Jack up better. It’s like a fire burning through Jack’s bottom, sending to Jack’s brain hundreds of different colors and electricity. The boy whimpered and shook his whole body up like a hurricane.

Sam’s face was pressed against Jack’s chest, groaning when he felt the tight hole around his huge member, sending him the satisfaction he thought he had lost since forever. “God, Jack. It’s so good. Good boy”, Sam mumbled through lust and desire. It wasn’t sex. It’s making love. And Sam hadn’t known he had ever had a chance for it again until now. With Jack moaning his name like a white sheep praying for his God, with Jack holding on Sam like there’s no tomorrow, with Jack loving him like Sam was the only color Jack could see in his life, it’s too much. Sam never knew he deserved love ever again after everything he went through. After those titles people gave him, after the look of disgust towards him, the feeling of unholy inside him, loving was something that Sam could only dream about. But now, it’s real. With Jack in his arms, he finally felt alive. He finally realized that he’s not dying, that he’s not just surviving, but actually living.

As if Jack knew what’s Sam thinking. The boy lifted his head up to look down at Sam. And Sam met his grin. It’s the pure grin that he wished it would last forever on the boy’s face. They locked their lips as their hips kept moving faster and faster. Jack was riding his lover like Harry Potter riding his broom. It took him to an adventure that only he knew how much joyful it was, how good it made him felt. Orgasm was building in both of them as they sped up and fucked each other mercilessly. It’s skin on skin, chest to chest, flesh against flesh. Salty sweat mixed up, rolled down and dropped on their tongue. Moaning, whimpering, groaning, sobbing, growling were all in the air.

They gasped when a knock on the dressing room came as clear as day. Just like a couple of teenagers messing around getting caught by their mom, Sam and Jack looked at the door and then at each other. Their bodies didn’t seem to mind, though. They kept their movements, their conjoining, and their connection. Jack’s ass never stopped taking Sam’s cock and Sam’s huge length never stopped destroying Jack’s hole. The younger grabbed a hand full of Sam’s hair as he rocked his bottom up and down the length like a crazy rocker. Sweet sounds came out when Sam hit his prostate.

“Dammit Jack”, Sam hissed at he felt the same thing. Aiming on that spot, Sam attacked as much as he could, leaving Jack panting with a nonstop of “Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam”. Tears were rolling up in Jack’s eyes, making him look even more gorgeous in Sam’s mind. He’s so sweet, so small, and so good. Sam wanted to eat him up and make the boy his, wanted to give this boy everything he asked for. Sam wanted something he hadn’t wanted for a long time, a relationship. Wanted to call Jack his boyfriend, to hold his hand in public, to kiss him on the lips in the dinner, exchange those secret looks and giggle something just two of them understand. Wanted to make everyone jealous and envious of how beautiful Jack was, how good Jack’s taste and how amazing Jack made him feel. Sam just wanted to be with Jack.

“Sam, it’s been an hour. Is everything okay?” It’s Lucy again. She sounded annoyed, worried. Mostly, it was annoyance in her voice. She might know what’s going on, she might not. But there’s no way Jack would let her ruin his moment.

They perspired. Hips kept on fucking each other. Sam gulped, tried his best to reply without moaning. “Hey!” He called out, sounded not much convincing. “Everything is… Fuck!” Sam got cut off by Jack’s lick in Sam’s ear. The boy smiled playfully against his lover’s skin. He knew that Sam wouldn’t be mad at him, not after all of this, after how far they went, how close to hell they traveled to.

“Sam? You’re okay?” Lucy asked again. Could someone shut this annoying girl up? She was messing things up. Didn’t she realize that nobody wanted her here? Didn’t she get that Sam was only Jack’s?

“I’m okay”, Sam gathered his breath. He gulped, feeling his orgasm was so close and Jack kept on smacking his own prostate on Sam’s groin was no helpful to this situation. “We’re okay. Thank you, Lucy”. It came out more like a soft sob of pleasure.

“The hell you are”, she replied stubbornly, “I’m coming in”.

“No!” he shouted. The door of the room started cracking like someone was picking the clock. Sam didn’t like the idea of being caught up having sex in public like a shameless teenager. And if this came out, hunters would figure out that Sam Winchester was being a horny old man who fucked a teenage boy to please himself like a pedophile. And in addition, that teenage boy was only a couple of weeks old who was also the son of Lucifer.

“Sam”, Jack whispered as he made the man look up at him. “Are you regretting this?”

They both stopped. It felt like the time around them suddenly stood still. There’s no sound besides their breath. Their eyes were starring right into each other’s soul. This was no good, but then, what was good in this world again? If bad guys came, let them come. Fuck that. Sam wouldn’t disappoint this boy again, not after what he offered Sam, not after how much he gave Sam.

Sam smiled, “No. Not at all”. And he leaned closer to kiss his boy. Jack could feel the tears of happiness running from his eyes down on his cheeks. Jack kissed back. He needed this kiss, the kiss of something new, of something he thought could only happen in his dream.

The kid grinned against Sam’s lips while the man’s dimples were showing as well. They’re happy with where they were. And that the only thing mattered. Nobody could ruin this holy moment. Not even Lucifer, not even God, not even Dean. So Lucy, you had no rights to.

Their bodies started their sexual intercourse again. This time, it was harder and hotter, messier and faster, crazier and wilder. Jack was jerking up like getting shocked by a teaser. Bright white went through him as he sensed Sam’s bright blue soul shiner. It’s so freaking much. The heat, the sense, the smell, the tense, the thick, the length, they’re all over him, embracing him, crawling in him, touching him, fucking him. It’s too much to bear.

“Sam!” Jack shouted with such a high-pitch tone right before his wings open wildly in the air in Sam’s wonderment. Orgasm ran through him like a wave, made him come harder than ever from both ways. Jack cock stood up and came all over Sam’s stomach while his grace shot out from his wings like a tsunami, destroying everything in the room.

The door flew open at the same time. Jack covered their bodies with his wings, eyes went dark gold. Sam felt the silky wings were touching his skin making him feeling like Heaven on Earth. Jack held one of his hands in the air and towards the door. The nephilim focused before pushing anyone out there away from his personal space and slamming the door and keeping it locked. Amazed by both Jack’s abilities and sex, Sam didn’t think he could last any longer. He tightened his grip around Jack, shoved in deeper and marked him better. It was not more than a couple minutes later that Sam gave in and filled Jack up with his come. “Fuck, Jack!” he growled, his eyes went darker but his soul went brighter.

Sam still fucked him for some more after his orgasm until his knees weaken and he could feel the weight of Jack now. They panted and exchanged lazy kiss before Jack collapsed in Sam’s arms. The man carefully carried his boy like he’s a precious treasure, that he could be easily broken. They lied down on the floor full of dirt and sperms. Jack was on Sam’s body. The man’s arms were wrapping around his body and pulling him closer. Jack snuggled in, because he needed Sam’s warmth. His fingers were playing with Sam’s chest.

They’d been like that for awhile, enjoying their peace and cuddle. For a moment, they didn’t want anything else but this. No more Heaven, no more Hell, no more hunting, no more, destiny, it’s just this. And even when they didn’t say a word, deep down, they knew it was just another dream of them. But save it, it wasn’t like they could live in their dream everyday.

After a moment of silence, Jack decided to speak up. “Sam?” he sounded soft and sweet. It made Sam look down at him with a smile. The man kissed on his forehead as he caressed Jack’s skin. “Hmm?”

“Thank you”, Jack licked his lips.

“For what?” Sam took a better look at his boy.

“For helping me having the sex”, Jack pointed out.

Sam wanted nothing to kiss Jack’s cute nose again for how crazily good he was. If only the world could have seen what he saw in Jack. The boy was a walking miracle. And Sam wouldn’t let anything touch him, not going to allow anything violate his innocence and purity.

“You helped me too. So thank you, Jack.” Sam winked at Jack and he could feel the boy’s happiness in his eyes.

“You’re welcome, Sam”, Jack replied as he tugged in.

Sam played with his hair for awhile before Jack spoke again, “Sam?”

“Yeah?”

“Does this mean…” the boy stopped before taking a deep breath and looked at Sam right in his eyes. His expression said that he’s being serious and Sam was worried that he would hate Sam for taking advantage of a young boy, of being such a pervert.

“Yes, Jack?” he asked, tried not to sound like he’s worrying of losing Jack at all.

“Will you be my boyfriend?” Jack finally asked what he planned since the first time he had seen someone who he had thought had been his Father. But since, Sam wasn’t, it’s never matter if he’s older, or he’s a man. Jack liked Sam, liked him very much. Sam wasn’t just his father figure, his teacher, his friend, his crush. Sam was something more. In fact, Sam was everything to Jack. Sam was all the colors Jack could ever see. Sam was the not the missing piece in Jack’s painting. Sam was that painting. And Jack wouldn’t let Sam go. Not now, not ever.

Sam licked his lips. He sat up and straightened his posture. This would be a big step in both their lives. No, it would be three of their lives, including Dean’s. Sam didn’t have any matter with dating a boy, but he had never dated a boy before. He wasn’t sure if this could work. He wasn’t sure if he could make Jack happy the way Jack did. And worse, he wasn’t sure if he could maintain the relationship with his crazy life. What if they broke up? What if he hurt Jack? What if because his mistakes, Jack would turn against the world? It’s not like dating a human man. It’s him, dating a nephilim, one of the most powerful creatures in this entire planet. Not to mention, the boy was quite young, damn, too young for him. And Sam felt like all kinds of dizziness and confusions hit him like a hurricane.

Sam looked at Jack. His eyes were full of worrying and expectation. He would be damned if he turned the boy down again. Maybe, dating a nephilim wasn’t that bad. Maybe? To his surprise, Sam lifted Jack’s face with his thumb and index finger on the boy’s chin. Jack pressed his lips against Jack, feeling the boy relaxing in the kiss. Jack reached out for Sam. His small hands were resting on Sam’s shoulders. The both closed their eyes and enjoyed the moment.

Jack opened his eyes as Sam pulled himself away to meet a “Yes” from Sam. Just like his system was shut by the kiss, Jack spent a long minute to think about it before excitement and thrill kicked in. “Really?” he asked again to make sure he wasn’t making it up himself. Once Sam nodded as a reply, Jack threw himself right into his boyfriend’s arms and kissed him as hard as possible.

That’s it, mom, Jack finally made Sam his boyfriend. He knew it was a long way. He knew he must suffer from a lot to be here, but it’s all worth. Sam’s worth it.

\----------------------------------

They made their way to the car by Jack’s teleport. Sam’s sure that they made such a mess there and as a mature, he would deny knowing anything about it. He made a mental note that he would stay away from every branch of this mall just in case. Once they’re in the car, Sam took out one of his hoodie to put on Jack. No need to tell, the boy grinned like he just got a ton of nougats. Jack now could officially ask to use Sam’s clothes, because he’s his boyfriend now. Didn’t it sound so nice? Being Sam’s boyfriend? It’s one of a kind.

Jack fell asleep on the way Sam drove both of them back to the bunker. He took a look at the kid. A tiny little happy smile unintentionally made its way on his lips. It felt so nice to have someone to share love. It felt so nice to have someone to whisper sweet nothing to. It felt so nice to cuddle at night, to sleep together on a sofa while the boring film was playing. It felt so nice to have someone that you could actually think of a future of you two. Sam reached out to run his hand through Jack’s hair. That was a silent promise. A promise Sam made to himself to make this work, to keep Jack happy, to protect Jack at all cost. And he would keep it. Even if the price was Sam’s life, he would keep it.

“Sorry, Jack”, a dark low voice hum from the back seat. It might look like tears, it might look like pain, and it might look like guilt. It looked red. It’s Lonnie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end is near. The wait is end. Lonnie's bean will be spilled soon. I can't wait to see if you hate him or love him. xD Comment your thoughts on this chapter, please. Wanna hear all of yours feelings and opinions.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything turned to be the mess that no one could have ever seen it coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the latest chap's love. I'm so grateful for all of you. Here come what you've all been waiting for, the truth about Lonnie Machin.

When Jack did picture himself happy… it’s with Sam. He pictured himself in Sam’s arms every possible time of a day, every possible place of the world. He pictured himself in Sam’s bed, on Sam’s couch, at Sam’s desk. He pictured simple things like eating together, talking together, driving together, cuddling together, sleeping together, or waking up together. He pictured himself buying Sam presents for his birthdays, for special occasions, for both Father’s Day and Valentine’s Day. He pictured himself just resting his head on Sam’s shoulder in silence watching the stars. He pictured Sam’s dimples when he did something right. When Jack did picture home… it’s Sam.

But when Jack did picture pain… it’s also with Sam. He pictured Sam’s in his arms choking in blood with weak breath. He pictured Sam’s in hospital, haunted house, missing in the middle of nowhere. He pictured terrible things like getting shot, stabbed, killed and he couldn’t do anything to stop it. He pictured himself burying his face in Sam’s neck, sobbing his name, calling him to wake up while Sam’s soul slowly leaving his body. He pictured himself sitting all day long in front of Sam’s grave on his birthday or special occasions like Father’s Day or Valentine’s Day. He pictured himself just resting his undying body on the ground looking at Sam’s cold body for days. He pictured Sam’s tears of fear when Jack did something wrong, something could cause Sam his life. When Jack did picture Hell… it’s also Sam.

And sometimes, the worse you thought, the easier things came. Jack could feel it. The fear, the pain, Hell, nightmare hit him like a typhoon when Jack watched Sam fall onto the ground. He could perceive tears ran down on his cheeks like a pouring rain when he observed Sam’s soul got tore apart. He screamed, he shouted, he cried out, he begged them to stop. But he was paralyzed. He couldn’t move. Jack stood like his feet was rooted deep underground. He couldn’t control his body. All he could do was watching his world getting destroyed. All he could do was being powerless as he always was.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. This must be a nightmare that Jack got stuck, that he was trapped, that he couldn’t get out. He used to think that living was hard, but then he had never known the definition of dying, of watching the only meaningful thing in his life taken away from him, of slowly getting killed, of being tortured mentally. Tears couldn’t stop falling, Jack couldn’t stop shaking. Jack’s lips were trembling, his eyes were gluing to Sam. The strength of talking was too much for the moment.

“Please, stop”. Jack sobbed out weakly. “I’m begging you”.

Replying to him was just Sam’s groan in pain. Jack gritted, hiccupped from tears. “Just let him go. I’ll do anything for you. Whatever you want, just take me instead”.

“I can’t, Jack. You know I can’t!”

“You always can. Just please. Please. I’m begging you”, Jack showed no other expression than pure broken. His voice was weak, his eyes were red, and his body was quaking. Which one was worse? Powerlessly watching the love of your life dying before your eyes? Or knowing that the one who was killing him was his beloved friend?

“I’m sorry, Jack. I am”. Lonnie took a guilty look at Jack before his eyes went glowing gold. “I wish things were different” Lonnie said softly.

“I love him”, Jack returned his painful gaze to his lover. He hoped Lonnie could give them a second thought. But again, hope was a dangerous thing. If you had hope, it meant you had expectations. And when you had expectations, it was just a matter of time before you had disappointment.

“I know”, he snorted. The older man looked at Jack for awhile. He licked his lips. For a moment, there’s something in his eyes that said something. It could be a second thought. It could be some light left in his dark soul. Lonnie inhaled deeply and let out the words that he had never thought he would admit. “But I love her”.

Jack’s expression changed from pain to fear in a blink. His eyes went widen. He shook his head instantly with a series of “No, no, no, no, no, no” as if that was the only word he knew.

Lonnie turned back to Sam. The man gritted his teeth and swallowed hard. He knew it wasn’t right but his hands were full of blood and if it was another blood from another man on his hand, then it was nothing much to worry. Even when it was someone he knew, someone he could feel deep inside that he had feelings for, no, Jack had feelings for. Even if it was someone his lips wanted to kiss, his hands wanted to touch, his mouth wanted to be fulfilled. Even so, it was just another man. There’s nothing to be hurt for. But deep down, he knew it hurt so much to watch the man that his heart sacrificed for dying in his arms. Swallowing his guilt, Lonnie tightened his fist around Sam’s throat.

“No!!!” Jack roared with anger and horror.

And then, they both watched Sam’s bright soul leaving his body.

\--------------------------------------

Jack watched Sam sleeping by his side with butter flies in his stomach. The man was so warm, too warm to leave. Jack snuggled in as if he wanted to crawl inside Sam forever. He watched Sam’s beautiful eyelashes in awe. Unable to stand it, Jack leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss on Sam’s pink lips. The touch made the man move a bit. His mouth curled up, forming a sleepy smile. Sam kissed back with a long hum and a soft chuckle.

“What’s up, Jack?” asked Sam in a sleepy voice.

“Nothing, Sam. I just wanna make sure that you’re real, not just one of my dreams”, he confessed softly while wrapping his small body around Sam. The hunter was wearing nothing but a pair of boxer while Jack was topless and wearing a pair of sweatpants. Jack liked Sam this way, being so comfortable and opened for Jack as if this was normal, usual, like an everyday thing. Jack laid his head on Sam’s chest, filling his head with Sam’s heartbeat and warmth. At the moment, Jack didn’t want to think of anything else other than his boyfriend.

The man happily caressed Jack’s skin by running his fingers up and down the boy’s arms. Sam buried his nose in Jack’s hair, feeling the sweet smell hitting his lungs. It wasn’t the best hair product Jack using or the best perfume he’s applying that made him smell like Heaven. It was just Jack thing. He was born to make everything look sweet and beautiful. He’s like a jar of sugar that you always needed in your life. They said that Jack wasn’t human, that he’s an unholy creature. But did they know how much human Jack made Sam feel?

When he’s with Jack, he had never felt more human before. Jack loved him without judging, without minding his past, without giving a damn about the demon blood running in his veins. Jack saw him as a human, not a king boy, not a leader of demon army, not the Lucifer’s vessel, not just someone people take advantage of, not just a cursed object, not even a hero, not a world savior, just a normal human. When he’s with Jack, the boy’s love made him feel like he’s worth it, like he’s something he should be proud of, like he’s living a life that he always wanted.

The way the boy kissed him like it was no tomorrow, the way his hips moved, the way his hands wander on Sam’s skin made him more alive than ever. And Sam was grateful for it. Each second being with Jack made him accept who he was. And each touch they exchanged made him actually understand that it didn’t matter what he was, it only matter what he did. And what he did was to love Jack the way he loved him, to touch Jack the way Jack touched him, to admire Jack the way Jack admired him.

They cuddled for awhile until Sam’s phone ringing. The man reached out for it lying on the desk. Sam immediately sat up at the name on the screen. It’s Dean. Sam’s heart skipped a beat. He inhaled deeply to take the courage to be able to hear his brother’s voice after weeks of nothing. Jack could notice the tense Sam’s holding. And the boy was just being a sweetheart again by sitting up and wrapping his arms around Sam’s shirtless body from behind, laying his chin on Sam’s shoulder. It’s like he wanted Sam to understand that no matter what happened, Jack’s here, always and he would never let anything to hurt Sam. For a second, Sam could feel Jack’s wings around him as well.

Sam finally found the strength to hit the answer option after forever. “Dean?” asked Sam uncertainly. To respond to his brother, there’s nothing but a several of groans, which made all kinds of terrify and insecurity crawl out of Sam’s skin. “Dean! Are you okay?” Sam asked with his heart beating like a racing horse. “Dean! This isn’t funny!” He complained while hoping it’s just a joke, even when he didn’t feel like it.

“Sam”, a weak voice spoke up. It’s his big brother’s voice. He’s being hurt, Sam could tell. All the nerves in his body were about to be blown up. He straightened his posture. Body was filled with discomfort. “Dean, tell me, what’s going on?!”

“Sam”, he started again, weaker than before. “Is the kid with you?”

“Yes, Dean. Look, whatever is going on, tell me where you are. Tell me what’s wrong”, Sam swallowed the bump in his throat.

“I’m okay. Just don’t let him out of your sight, okay?” Dean gulped as Sam heard. “I… I’m sorry. I-”

Dean got cut off by his own scream, causing Sam a heart attack. The younger Winchester shouted his brother’s name at his phone on his hand. There’s hurt on Sam’s face, terror in his eyes and broken in his voice. And before he could react, a chuckle came to fill the air. Shaking his own anxiety, Sam asked firmly, “Who are you?”

“Hello, Sammy. Miss me?” a male voice replied.

No way. It’s no way. It couldn’t be him. Why was it him? Why did it have to be him? Sam’s breath became unstable. The voice was too much to hear. Right when he thought he finally got rid of the worst thing had ever happened in his life. Right when he thought he could finally have the family he had always dreamed of. Right when he thought things could work out. Right when he thought he could finally forget how stained he was, how awful his destiny was, how heavy the weight on his chest was, how terrible his past was, how horrific Hell was. Right when he thought he could be able to have a life, his nightmare came back and dragged him to Hell with it again. Sam wanted to scream, to shout, to break things, to go crazy. He wanted to just breakdown and cry out. But he couldn’t. He had to be strong, for Dean, for Jack, for himself. He couldn’t let the devil win, especially when he got his brother. The man took a deep breath.

“What do you want?” he asked solidly.

“You know what I want, Sam”, answered the man with such confidence. Sam bet he was smirking in pride. The man continued, “I want my son. I know you keep him. Just give me my son and I’ll spare your brother”.

“Where are you?” trying his best not to show any more worry in his voice.

“Sammy! Don’t! It’s not-” Dean shouted before getting cut off by his own hurtful roar. It sounded like the son of a bitch just kicked Dean in the stomach, causing Sam all kind of range by the sound of his big brother being hurt.

“You asshole! Don’t you dare fucking hurt him!” Sam barked his demand towards the villain. He stood up from the bed, arms were so tense as if he was about to fight.

“Already did, honey”, he smirked through the phone, “Anyway, I’ll text you the address. Meet me in an hour. Bring my son with you. Don’t try to be a smart boy, sweetie. Unless you want your brother walking without his head”, he threatened and hung up.

Sam rubbed his own face with so much fury, panic and disbelief. This was the exact situation that he had always been scared of dealing with. He hated those multiple options test where he couldn’t choose without risk. He hated the fact that all the bad guys knew his weakness. He hated the fact that his love for his brother was always what got them in trouble. He hated when he had always had to choose between his brother and the other thing knowing that the result would always be his brother.

But this time, it was different. This time, it’s Jack. And he cared about the boy. He cared about his feelings and of all things, he cared about his decisions. Jack’s life wasn’t something for Sam to decide on his behalf. Jack couldn’t choose who to be his parents, but he could choose who to live with. And even if there’s no way Sam would allow Lucifer to be near Jack, it’s not Sam’s call either. All his life, he had to live the way others wanted, free will was taken away from him. He couldn’t let Jack live the life he had. So he wouldn’t just be like, “Hey, Jack. Your Dad has Dean and since I love my brother, let’s do the exchange. You’ll have your Dad and I have my brother. And then we’ll all go home and call it a night. What do you say?” Whatever it was, there had to be a way.

Before Sam could think of a way, a text was sent to him via Dean’s number. There’s an address of some abandoned warehouse called “The Judas” in Kansas City. Gritting his teeth, Sam closed his eyes with so much exasperation. This should never have happened. What the hell was wrong with his life? Why couldn’t he enjoy his peace for two seconds without someone he cared about being in danger? What had he done wrong in his previous life? Why did God hate him this much? There were so many questions he wanted to shout at the world, but he couldn’t lose his control. Sam must stay calm. Any bad move, any miscalculation this moment could lead to things that Sam would regret and never forgive himself.

Okay. That’s it. Let’s face the Devil together. If this was the end, let’s end it once and for all. What else to lose? Exhaling the breath he was holding, “Jack, look. We need to talk”, Sam finally opened his eyes to look at his boy’s innocent eyes. The boy was too young. Why did they have to do this to him? Sam sadly wondered. But as if the world knew that he didn’t suffer enough, Sam opened his eyes to face the truth that Jack had been gone.

“Jack!” Sam called out. His eyes went ten times wider. “Dammit!” he mumbled while grabbing his gun, jacket and the keys. Sam knew exactly where Jack was.

\--------------------------------------

Knowing Sam was about to walk into danger, Jack couldn’t allow it happening. The nephilim promised himself that he would protect Sam at all cost, even his life. He couldn’t let anything happen to the only person who truly cared about him. Sam always told him that jumping into a fight without plans was suicide. And Jack knew better than anyone that Sam couldn’t make up a plan in such a short time with Dean’s in danger. He understood how much Dean meant to Sam. So if the Devil wanted him, Jack would give him what he wanted. Sam needn’t to be here. Jack could handle this. He would save Dean and spare Sam a fight.

Jack flew to the warehouse in a blink of time, finding Dean’s growl in pain. The man was alive. Jack felt such a relief running through his veins. Jack took a deep breath. This was it. This was the moment Jack proved Dean how good a human Jack was, that Jack was good, and Jack’s worth Sam. Somehow, this situation made him fantasy about an official family meeting with him meeting his boyfriend’s brother and showed the man that he’s someone the man could trust. Jack grinned while thinking of how Dean would allow them dating and how proud Sam was of him after this. He could do it. He could have a win.

Walking in with such confidence, Jack met Dean being cuffed to a radiator. His face was covered with blood and bruises. The hunter was half awake and half in a comma. His breath was weak and his body was out of strength. Obviously, someone had beaten him up. Jack gritted his teeth. Anybody who did this must pay the price. Nobody could hurt his friends. Even when he couldn’t have a complete hold of his power, he would die try to punish them in return.

Jack walked in hurry towards Dean. The boy looked at the cuff and tried to find a way to break it. Dean moved painfully. With such a low exhausted voice and his eyes closed, the man opened his mouth for a question. “Sam?”

“No. It’s Jack”, the kid pointed out before finally see how to melt the metal thing.

“Ugh”, Dean groaned, “What are you doing here?”

“I’m saving you”, Jack replied with a smile. He looked at Dean with such hope.

“No”. Dean shook his head difficultly. “Where’s Sam?”

“He’s in the bunker. He’ll be safe”, Jack made sure that Dean would feel better about this.

“Listen, kid”, Dean exhaled weakly. “You get the hell out of here. This is a trap. And it’s not-”

“Not Lucifer?” a voice cut Dean off. Dean growled while Jack turned around to face his enemy.

“Hello, Jack. It’s such an honor to finally meet you”, a man walked out and chuckled confidently at Jack. The boy blinked rapidly between Dean and the man. It’s Dean? How was it possible? Jack took a step back away from both of them before knowledge kicked in. Shape shifter. It must be one of them. So that’s it, a shape shifter Dean.

“Get back”, Jack demanded as the shape shifter didn’t stop taking steps forwards. The boy raised his hand, palm towards the bad guy, ready to fight.

“Jack. We don’t want to hurt you. Just want you to be with us”, another man walked out from the dark. Oh no. Why did it have to be him? Just the image of him made Jack weak. Those assholes knew him too well.

“Stay back! You’re not Sam!” Jack took a step forward to cover Dean’s vulnerable body. There’s no way he would let these win. Jack’s posture was straight, chest held up, eyes focused, legs apart, hand on air, fist tightened, teeth gritted.

“Then what are you gonna do?” there’s another voice spoke up. It’s the voice that he heard from Sam’s phone. A man walked out, eyes turned light yellow with such tiny pupils. This must be fake Lucifer.

“Stay back!” Jack barked as they kept on moving forwards. But nothing came out. His power was being held back. Jack’s fear rolled up the more they closed the distance. The boy gulped at the fact that they could win the fight. He wasn’t afraid of being hit since his body was made of steal, but Dean’s wasn’t. He knew they would use Dean to blackmail him.

To the left of him, a man yawned while speaking “Jackie boy. What are you doing out here this late?” He rubbed his eyes lazily and stretched his muscles before eye widening. “Holy shit! What the hell?” Lonnie jumped up at the scene of them being surrounded.

“They are shape shifters. They wanna hurt Dean. But my power doesn’t work”, Jack told Lonnie in worry.

“Now you’re talking to yourself, son. This is what happens when you’re with the egocentric like the Winchesters for so long” the fake Lucifer chuckled mockingly.

“What am I gonna do?” Jack ignored the provocative words to speak to Lonnie.

The man replied to the boy by a smirk on his face. He looked at the Winchesters-wanna-be and then at his friend before chuckled, “Let’s beat the shit out of them!” he winked.

Jack frowned. Before he could get what the hell Lonnie meant, the fake Lucifer threw him at the wall. Hitting his head against the hard bricks, Jack felt his human system kicked in while feeling giddy. They stormed in and beat him as hard as possible. Jack could hear Dean struggling to get out with some weak scream of his name. And then everything blacked out.

Jack felt like he’s way far away from the reality. It felt like he’s falling into some dark pit, flowing around some galaxy without any light. Even with his eyes opened, he’s just a blind man. It’s like standing outer space where time didn’t bother to even crawl. He could feel the strength leaving him and he began being unable to control his body. He could sense that his body wasn’t his anymore. He felt itchy like some bugs creeping under his skin. He felt like there’s a fist around his throat but he couldn’t do anything about it. The failure was too big. He failed Sam and Dean. Everything was over. His visions were filled with darkness.

A ray of bright light suddenly hit in. And everything went back to life. Jack opened his eyes wide. But this time, he didn’t face the three of shape shifters anymore. He felt like it’s a movie and he’s an audience. Jack was standing far away from them all with his body getting beaten up right in front of his eyes. Was he dead? Like was he a ghost now where he could watch his own death again? Jack was so confused at the moment.

“I said stay back!” Jack heard himself roared before a loud boom sounded up filling the place. He watched a ball of gold light appeared from his own body and the three of them was thrown across the room. Jack’s mouth hung opened in awe with him watching his own wings spread out. His body slowly stood up, eyes were bright gold. He looked so cool, he thought it himself. Jack grinned at the scene in pure joy.

His body stood straight with eyes wandering around before looking up and down his hands and arms. Taking a moment to get used to the new feeling, his body breathed in and out deeply to stabilize everything. He watched his own body stretching its shoulders and enjoying everything. A couple of panting noises drew both of their attention. The shape shifters tried to stand. A smirk showed up. Jack knew this smirk. He saw this before. It belonged to Lonnie.

He watched Lonnie now having his body walking slowly towards the three of them like he’s enjoying it. Lonnie cocked his head a side and watched them trying to defend before using his hand to pin them all on the wall. He moved so smoothly as if he had been practicing everything for a long time, as if all Jack’s powers had always been Lonnie’s. Lonnie chuckled darkly before tighten his grip in the air which choked them.

They coughed. One of them begged. “Please, be mercy”

Lonnie laughed out loud without any humor “Mercy?” He gripped harder, drawing the air out of their lungs “What did I tell you?! Huh?!”

“Wait…” the fake Dean choked, “Wait for your call”.

“Wait for my call” He repeated. It sounded more like a scold. “And did I call any of you?!”

“No sir”, fake Sam gasped. “But Madam Rebecca told us to speed up”, he cried out.

“Oh?” he huffed out a laugh. “Now you’re listening to “Madam Rebecca” huh?” Lonnie made a quotation mark with his fingers.

He shifted to be totally scary in just one second. Jack had never seen Lonnie like this before. His eyes turned as dark as a late ocean and his face was covered with terrible burn marks. “Who is your boss?” Lonnie growled with his fist so tight that Jack could feel his fingers getting hurt. Jack could feel what Lonnie was feeling. Anger, hunger, hatred, and murder were all in his cells. This man was living on revenges and fed by blood. He’s lunatic, insane, crazy and mad. He could kill everything standing in his way without a blink of an eye and nothing but enjoyment would fill his lungs. When he wanted something, he must get it. And if someone dared to prevent him, he would be more than happy to finish them off and watching their soul leaving their body in satisfied.

“Lonnie, stop!” Jack called out while watching in horror the way their eyes rolled up and their face became too pale for a living thing.

The man didn’t reply to the kid, he kept on until he could feel the last breath of them leaving their lungs. He loosened his grip then and watched their bodies fell onto the ground, coughing for air. Lonnie showed no empathy, he just simply showed no emotion at all. The man took each firm steps to those losers before tugging his hand in fake Sam’s hair and yanking his head up. He exhaled deeply before lower his body. Even it was just a fake Sam, Jack was still hurt by the look of the shape shifter.

Lonnie whispered along fake Sam’s jaw, “Sam, I wonder all the time, ya know. I wonder how your skin feels under my hands”, Lonnie smirked with hot breath hitting the shape shifter’s ears. “I wonder what’s under all these skins of yours”, Lonnie barely touched fake Sam’s ear, “What are you without this fake look, Sam?” Lonnie chuckled, “Is it a man under all this? Or is it an ugly monster who wants to live someone’s life?” His eyes were full of harsh, “Don’t you mind if I skin you alive, Sam?”

Jack swallowed hard. He knew it wasn’t Sam and it hurt Dean, but deep down, he felt really bad for the shape shifter. Now they got Dean, they should just let them go and make them promise not to hurt other people again. There’s no point for more violence. Jack didn’t like the idea of watching Sam, no matter what form he was, getting tortured. Jack bit his bottom lip, “Lonnie. We should go. Just leave them be. Let’s get out of here”.

Lonnie didn’t look at him for once. His mind was too into the feeling of warm blood dripping on his skin. “Please don’t”, fake Sam replied weakly, begging for a bit of generous inside of the man. But Lonnie didn’t change his mind for once. Lonnie licked his lips before standing up and getting ready to exploring the poor thing’s skin. He dug his nails into the fake Sam’s skin. The shape shifter screamed in pain while Lonnie was laughing in amusement. Jack yelled for Lonnie to stop but the man didn’t give a damn. The boy turned his gaze to Dean who was watching with his eyes widen. “You’re a monster”, Dean mumbled in disbelief.

“No, no! Dean! It isn’t me! Dean! Listen to me! It’s not me!” Jack called out for Dean but it seemed like he’s invisible. It’s like he’s stuck in a room with soundproof crystal-clear walls where he could observe everything without anyone knowing.

Lonnie laughed cruelly and yanked Sam’s head against the ground. He looked at Dean with a jerk smile. “Oh. Dean, I’ve been hearing it all the time”. Lonnie stood up and walked to Dean. The hunter looked too furious at the moment as he reached his position. “Isn’t this what you always want? Huh? You’ve spent everyday trying to point out that Jack is a monster, haven’t you?”

“Lonnie, stop!” Jack demanded. Again, nobody cared about him.

“So why are you surprised now if I am?” Lonnie tilted his head in question.

Dean looked up at him. Jack could feel those murderous eyes were on him. Jack knew Dean wanted nothing but to break his neck at the moment. And he honestly could understand why.

“It must be painful”, Lonnie kneeled before Dean, “to have a crush on your brother, you sicko”. He mocked.

“What are you talking about?” Dean growled at him.

“Oh. You think you can hide it. But you can’t. I see it all. The way he looks at Sam, the way you get jealous whenever I touch him. Should I remind you that you killed his girlfriend because you’re too jealous to see things?” Lonnie smirked. He bit his lip with amusement. “Oh. But you know you can’t have him, because it’s wrong, because you’re brothers. And because”, Lonnie chuckled, “Because Sam’s already mine”.

“What have you done to him!?” Dean roared with rage. His muscles woke up at the sound of his brother’s name. One of Dean’s free hands flew like a flash at Lonnie’s throat and squeezed harder than ever. If Jack’s body was completely human, Jack’s sure that his neck was already broken.

“Things that you’re too afraid to do”, Lonnie winked without a sign of fear. He wanted nothing to wake Dean’s darkest side up. Jack knew he wouldn’t stop until Dean hated Jack more than Lucifer. And Jack didn’t understand why the man had to do what he’s doing. Why did Lonnie have to talk like that? Why did he have to act like that? Who actually was he?

“That’s enough, Anarkiel!” a woman voice spoke up in the middle of the room, breaking the tense.

“It’s Anarky”, Lonnie reminded with a roll of eyes.

“Anarky?” Dean and Jack asked at the same time. Lonnie winked at Dean before getting rid of the man’s hold. The man walked away from the hunter and towards the woman.

“Good evening, Dean Winchester. I’m Rebecca, an angel of the Lord. It’s such an honor to finally meet the vessel of the archangel Michael”, she offered a smile.

“It’s good to meet another piece of shit”, Dean returned the greeting.

She didn’t say anything, just nodded in agreement. The angel turned her attention to Lonnie, “And this must be Jack, the famous nephilim”, she bowed her head.

“Cut the crap, Beck”, Lonnie offered a bitch face, “What the hell did you think you were doing? Sending those shit doing shit behind my back?” he pointed at the shape shifters.

“We were running out of time and you didn’t answer any call of mine. So I thought I could start doing something instead of waiting for you forever”, she humbly explained.

“Rebecca, I told you I could handle it. So I would. The thing is you trashes think you’re so good. Then why don’t you just do it instead of asking for my help? You messed everything up. My plans were perfect until you decided to be a smartass”, Lonnie was scolding angrily at her.

The woman in grey suits didn’t seem to bother. All she did was just watching him in silence. And then, she spoke up, which changed his attitude. “Anarkiel. Remember, it’s not us asking you for help. It’s us offering you a deal. You give us the nephilim and we’ll give you her”

Lonnie seemed to worry for the first time. It seemed like something that he tried to forget just came back to him. His gesture stopped being tense, expressions went softer, uncertainty radiated around him. Lonnie gulped, head was up. His gaze was starring into the ceiling. “Is she okay?” he asked dryly.

“She is”, she shortly answered.

“I want to see her”, Lonnie sighed out tiredly.

“You guys will meet in Heaven”, she suggested.

Lonnie turned his gaze back to her. “Now”

“Anarkiel”

“Rebecca. Now, or I’ll let Jack back in control”, he closed the distance between them, “You just hurt the man he cares about. Do you think he would forgive you for hurting Dean Winchester?” His voice was solid, eyes were full of determination. No matter what situation it was, Lonnie always had the upper hand. Both Lonnie and Jack knew it.

“Fine”, Rebecca reluctantly said. Lonnie smirked as she called out for her friends.

“You’re not Jack?” Dean grunted. Lonnie looked down at the man and shook his head. “Then who are you?” asked the man.

Lonnie walked back to Dean and kneeled at the man again before touching the forehead of the hunter. All Dean’s bruises were gone and all of his wounds were vanished. Lonnie healed him by Jack’s power which even Jack couldn’t do. To Dean’s surprise, Lonnie responded, “It doesn’t matter, Dean. You will never see me again. Your life and Sam’s will be back in normal soon”

“What about Jack?” Dean questioned.

“Jack”, Lonnie glanced over his shoulder where Jack was standing, “He’s gonna be fine”

“No!” Jack angrily screeched.

“Tell Sam that he loves the man”, Lonnie patted on Dean’s shoulder.

“Then how the hell is he gonna be fine?” Dean looked toughly.

“Just ‘cause you love someone doesn’t mean you should stick around and screw up their life”, he said sadly before standing up. They both looked at each others. The words sunk in. Dean felt like a knight twisted in his heart as he heard exactly what he had told Ben about he and Lisa. He didn’t know how this man could rephrase them, but it messed Dean up. But Jack knew why he said what he said. It wasn’t for Dean. It’s for Jack. It’s the last advice of Lonnie for Jack. And Jack stood still, felt like he’s numb.

“You know I want to be with him”, Jack said quietly. His eyes glued to his feet. He’s tired of screaming and shouting.

“I know”, Lonnie returned as quietly as Jack. The man looked at him for the first time with empathy.

“Then why are you doing this?” Jack looked up. Tears were filling up in his eyes.

“I have no other choice”, Lonnie looked at Jack with a sad smile on his face. Jack had never seen him acting like this before. He had always been confident, so much of a definitive man, a man with no cheesy emotion. Lonnie never showed his real side of a story, he had always been hiding these sad eyes, those eyes of a lost soul. Something inside of Jack could sense it, the second thought. It was there, somewhere in Lonnie’s heart. All Jack had to do was to pull it out. Jack must do it unless he wanted to regret all his life.

Jack heard a flap of wings before a man in black suit showed up with a girl in his arms. She’s around 20-ish, out of conscious. The girl was wearing a red hoodie with a pair of black leather pants. She looked so small comparing to the man’s size of chest. “She’s here”, the man announced. Jack looked at her then turned to Lonnie. Tonight, the man he thought he had known for weeks give him from a surprise to another. Jack could feel butterfly in his own stomach by the look on Lonnie’s face. The man curled his mouth into the happiest smile Jack could ever know. His lips were trembling a bit as if he was trying to control the joy in his heart. He looked so soft, so relief as if he’d been waiting for this moment for so long.

“Wake her up”, Lonnie gave his order. The big man looked at Rebecca for her permission. By the nod of her, the man laid his fingers on her forehead. She shifted, blinked her eyes. Lonnie watched her movement with such nerve. She groaned while forcing her eyes open. Her eyes wandered around the space before gluing on the nephilim’s face.

“Lonnie?” she asked quickly. Wait, what? How came? It was Jack. It’s Jack’s body, Jack’s face. How came she identify him as Lonnie?

“My Queen”, Lonnie smiled happily at her.

“Where am I?” she jumped out of the huge dude’s arms. “What am I doing here?”

“It’s okay”, Lonnie calmed her down. “I get everything under my control”. Lonnie reached out his hand and gave a sign for her to come to him.

She shook her head in confusion. The girl took a several steps back until she saw Dean being cuffed and sitting on the dirty floor. She shot her glance at Lonnie, “You did it?!” Then she ran to Dean with such a concern. “Are you okay?” asked she, “Don’t worry. I’ll get us both out of here”.

Dean looked at her with a raising eyebrow, “I doubt that”.

“Lonnie, let him go!” the girl ordered. Lonnie just looked at them with no amusement, but he did it anyway. He snapped his fingers and the cuff broke off instantly. The girl obviously didn’t know about this ability of his. That’s why she was shocked, but then gathered herself and helped Dean stand up.

“Let’s get out of here”, she looked at Dean with honesty. He guessed she could fight. Her gesture was saying that she knew some good moves. However, Dean couldn’t have it. Those angels were about to have the nephilim. The man couldn’t let Jack or Lonnie or Anarky or what the hell he was go.

“Listen up, lady. You should get out of here. I’ll handle it”, Dean suggested.

“There’s nothing to handle, Mr. Winchester”, Rebecca decided to talk. “All we need is the nephilim. And we’ve already had him” she gave her best smile.

“Who told you so?” Lonnie licked his bottom lip and offered a smirk.

“Anarkiel?” Rebecca cocked her head.

“It’s Anarky”, Lonnie said before raising his hand on the air. A gold light beam shot up at the angels, pushing them away. He lifted his chin up and waved in the air, the angels flew along with his motions. All of them watched Lonnie in surprises. Jack actually hadn’t seen this coming. The angels looked like they got hurt nicely, because the look on their face said it on their behalf.

Everyone looked at Lonnie with wide eyes and the man winked at Jack. “We’re friends, aren’t we?”

Jack was in shock but then returned to his friend with his head nodding nonstop and his mouth smiling jubilantly.

“What the hell?” the girl frowned and all Lonnie could do was taking her hand. “I’ll explain later”. He told the group with a clear suggestion, “Now let’s get out of here”.

Dean was amazed by the man’s ability. And of course, he didn’t trust whoever behind this game, but he knew that staying here wouldn’t help. So he agreed with Lonnie.

“Baby is not far. I’ll drive”, Dean said.

The group exited the warehouse. But since when had things been easy for the Winchesters? At the way out, Jack saw Rebecca mumbled something and then the girl in red screamed out before falling on the ground. Heart skipped a beat, Lonnie ran to catch her in his arms. The girl was groaning in pain, sweat covering her cold heating body. “Thea? Thea, look at me! Don’t sleep, please. My Queen, don’t sleep now. Not now” Lonnie muttered.

It’s Thea Queen, Jack recalled. It’s Lonnie’s tattoo, his girlfriend. So everything Lonnie did, he did it for her. The angels must have kept her all this time and Lonnie must find a way to fight them back. And the man chose it had to be through Jack. Jack was what they wanted and the only thing could defeat them without being hurt. It was his plan all along, to get Jack’s trust, Jack’s meat suit, and Jack’s powers. He’s ready to stoop this low for the girl he loved just like the way Jack would do anything for Sam, even if Jack had to kill his own father for Sam’s sake. It’s Lonnie’s crazy love for Thea that drove him this far.

Lonnie’s breath was no longer stable at the feeling of Thea slowly blacking out. The man held her tight with a furious growl, “What have you done to her?!”

Rebecca gradually stood up and smoothed her suits before offered a triumphant chuckle. “You thought it would be easy to walk out with both the nephilim and the girl?”

“What have you done to her?!” Lonnie’s burn marks showed up again. This time, it looked more deep and bad.

“A bounding spell”, she smirked, “Miss Queen’s soul belonged to us now. If you pull a trick, all I have to do is finish the spell and her soul will go right through Hell. The only one who knows how to fix it is me”.

“Son of a bitch”, Dean exhaled madly.

Lonnie looked at Thea’s pale body with anger. He miscalculated for the first time and the price was his love’s life. And Lonnie would rather die than be okay with this. He knew what would happen next. He must give those angels what they needed, must finish the deal unless he wanted to risk his Queen’s life. He must do it quick before the last person he wanted to see decided to show up.

“Dean”, Lonnie started, “Don’t you mind holding her for me?” he looked up to ask the man. Dean shook his head and replaced Lonnie. He carried Thea’s weak body while Lonnie stood up.

“Break the spell on her”, Lonnie said, “And I’ll go with you”. The man shot Jack a quick glance. The boy knew that he’s asking for Jack’s permission without even asking. Jack wanted to help. And if it meant that Jack had to stay away from people he loved, he would do it anyway. Because he knew how it felt to love someone. He knew how it felt to see the only thing you cared about being in danger. If helping Lonnie meant saving his love, saving a girl’s life, then he didn’t think Sam would be mad at him. So Jack nodded.

Thank you, Lonnie sent it with his mind. He left Jack’s eyes to turn back to Rebecca, waiting for her to say deal before things went sideway. He would work a way to get them all out of this. But his priority must be Thea’s safety. So Thea first, plans later. He would make sure these fake dicks pay a good price. He swore to himself.

“How do I know you’re not gonna betray us again?”

“Then what do you want me to do?” he asked annoyingly.

She smiled. “That”, Rebecca answered shortly, index finger was pointing at the gate. Jack inclined his head to a side while Dean’s eyes were narrowing. Lonnie was questioning the quiz she offered. And then it hit him. It’s the only person he didn’t want to show up at this place. It’s the one who could turn everything upside down. It’s the one who would change everything, for better or worse.

“No”, Lonnie shook his head. “No!” he repeated himself. She didn’t answer. All she did was to smile. “You can’t do that. It’s not in the deal!” Lonnie refused.

“Neither is walking out with the nephilim and your girlfriend”, she stiffly said.

Dean narrowed his eyes at them until his instinct kicked in. “Sammy”, he mumbled, “No!” the man barked. “Don’t even think of touching him!”

“Sam?” Jack gulped. Was Rebecca planning on Lonnie hurting Sam? No, please. Don’t let this happen. Not Sam, anything but Sam. Why couldn’t they just move on? Why Sam?

“Lonnie, don’t!” Jack begged and the man looked at him with pain and uncertainty. “Don’t hurt him!” Jack’s tears were forming. “I’m begging you”.

“Jack, I-” Lonnie opened his mouth but no words came out. Because the beat in his heart was too fast, the blood in his brain was too high, and the buzz in his ears was too loud. Lonnie wanted to think but he mind was blank.

“Dean? Jack?” A voice spoke up that killed all of the men.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooops... I did it again, I played with your heart. What do you think about this chapter? Do you think Lonnie would be a good man or a bad man? Leave your thoughts for me to know, humans. Wanna know.  
> Also, if you want to see more about how Lonnie loves Thea Queen, I suggest you to watch Arrow and see how much willing this boy is for his Queen. ;) I mean, he is one of a kind. xD


	8. Chapter 8

 

Sam must think of a plan, any plan. Both Dean and Jack were in danger and Sam was the only one with mind around here. He swore to God that Jack was so much of Dean. Like what the hell did he think storming right into a trap like that? None of them could ever think of a plan or something? Sam was so done with their shit, for real. But on top of it, he was worried. He knew Lucifer. He was the living crap. He could never stop until he got what he wanted. And in this case, it’s Jack. So if he got Jack, there’s nothing to make sure that Dean could be safe, judging of how much that son of a bitch hated his brother. And he knew Jack. The boy couldn’t let Dean get hurt. The fear of disappointing Dean was too much for him to do that, so in the end, Jack would sacrifice himself for the better good. The kid was trying hard to prove it to Dean. And he knew Dean, there’s no way the man would back off and let Lucifer have Jack. Sam just wished none of them would do anything stupid until he’s there. Not that he’s smarter than any of them, but at least, he had time to think of a way to get all of them out without any big harm. However, if he’s being honest with himself, his mind was pretty much having no idea. Come on, think, Sam. You’re the mind of the family, they said. You must think of a way.

Parking the car not far from the warehouse, Sam inhaled deeply and sighed out. This was it, facing his own demon again. It’s not like everyday you could fight Satan, wasn’t it. Okay, what’s the plan? Get Dean. Get Jack. Get out. Oh, and don’t get die. This was frustrated, even for Sam. He nodded to encourage himself before gathering his stuff. Let’s have this dance again, Sam mumbled himself. God knew what’s waiting for him ahead. The man left the car to head towards where his long-term pain in the ass enemy was, hoping his brother and boyfriend were all fine. Even a tiger didn’t eat his own child, then there’s no reason for Lucifer to hurt Jack, right? At least, he hoped so. He would definitely take a long off after this.

Walking in with an angel blade in his hand, Sam carefully observed the location. He heard some chat and some shout. “No. No!” It’s Jack’s voice. There’s refusal, broken and pain in the kid’s voice. Lucifer must offer him something that he wouldn’t want. Maybe, the selfish wanted his son to kill someone for Dean’s sake. “No!” Dean barked. Sam’s heart skipped a beat. No, no. Jack, don’t hurt Dean, Sam rushed in. “Don’t even think of touching him!” or not? Was it Lucifer wanted to hurt Jack? Hell no! Not in Sam’s watch! The man held his blade tight and ran in.

“Dean? Jack?” he spoke up, drawing their attention to them. Sam almost fought anything attacking him till he saw the scene. The younger hunter frowned. Lucifer was out of conscious on the ground along with his and Dean’s body? There’s a woman in grey suit, a huge man in black standing in the middle of the room with victory smile. There’s another Dean with a girl in his arms. And then there’s Jack looking at him with sad eyes.

“You’re okay?” he asked both of them.

Jack looked at him but the boy didn’t reply. He looked so mature now. There’s something not right in his eyes. It felt like there’s someone else. There’s someone had always been there but never came out of the dark until now. There’s someone that had always known Sam but Sam never had any idea who he was. It felt like a shadow that always followed you but you never seemed to care much about its existence. It looked exactly like you but it’s darker and smarter.

“Sammy!” Dean yelled at him. “Get the hell out of here! It’s not Jack!” the man pointed out. Sam hardly got it. He hadn’t had time to wrap his head around what Dean was saying before feeling Jack’s hand on his shoulder. “Jack?” asked Sam with confusion. The kid chattered as if he’s swallowing something down his throat. “I’m sorry”.

“For what?” Sam frowned in question.

“For this”, Jack replied. With one move, his fist was around Sam’s throat and lifted his body off the ground. Sam was shocked. He dropped the weapon on the floor. His eyes went widen watching the boy who he just made love with killing him. This wasn’t the Jack he knew. Deep down, he could see it. In the boy’s eyes, there’s still something of Jack left. If Dean was right, then this was something else, something that controlled Jack just like the way Lucifer had controlled him before. If so, he still had conscious about this. He could see it, could feel it. All Sam needed to do was pulling Jack back.

“Sammy! No!” Dean shouted. The man laid Thea back and picked up the blade. He rushed in and stabbed Jack on the back. The nephilim left out a low “ahh”. His eyes went dark gold and used another hand of his to push Dean away from them. His back hit the wall across the warehouse. “Dean!” Sam looked his brother getting thrown away with shock.

The boy turned back to Sam with his fist tightening. Sam panted, his hands holding Jack’s shoulder tight. “Jack. Listen up. I know you’re here. I know you’re feeling it. You can fight this”. Jack showed no expression. He kept his face unemotional and straight still. Sam nodded. “It’s okay. I’m here”, Sam managed a smile on his face, fully dimples showed up. Jack stayed silence. The nephilim squeezed harder, pushing more air out of Sam’s lungs. Sam’s groaned in pain.

“I can’t, Jack. You know I can’t!” the nephilim spoke for the first time. He’s talking to Jack, Sam assumed. The kid was fighting in there and Sam wouldn’t let him fight it alone. If this was a fight, it’s their fight. “Jack! Jack! You can beat this, you can-” Sam gasped for air. He coughed, but he didn’t give up. Jack was there, he knew it. He would never give up on the kid. He would never let Jack suffer anything alone. He wouldn’t let Jack lost. Jack’s here. He knew Jack’s here. He could feel it. He believed it.

“I’m sorry, Jack. I am”. Jack took a guilty look at an empty space before his eyes went glowing gold. “I wish things were different” he said softly. Sam followed the boy’s gaze to meet his actually boy’s eyes. The boy returned his teary eyes to his lover, knowing that the man couldn’t see him now. Sam gave him a weak smile. He knew Jack was watching him. He knew that the kid was trying so hard. He could sense somewhere in the air, Jack said it, the three words that they both tried to tell each other but couldn’t find a chance. He could sense Jack’s eyes were tearing up as much as Sam was. He knew the kid was scared to death with what’s going on. He had never prepared Jack for this and it’s not his fault for any of this. The world was just cruel for both of them, the boy with angel grace and the boy with demon blood. “It’s okay”, Sam looked right into Jack’s eyes, “I’m not mad. It isn’t you”.

“I know”, the nephilim snorted. He looked at the empty space for awhile. He licked his lips. For a moment, there’s something in his eyes that said something. Something that Sam knew. It’s guilt. It’s force. It’s shame. It’s controlling, but manipulated. It’s living the life he didn’t want. It’s revenge. It’s following others’ instructions. It’s fighting for what he believed was right while it’s not. It’s inhuman. It’s lost. It could be a second thought. It could be some light left in his dark soul. The nephilim inhaled deeply and gave up his last words. “But I love her”.

And just like that, he swallowed hard with his fist tighter than ever. Sam was choked, his eyes rolled up, sparing for the sclera taking the majority part in his eyes. The hunter grabbed the nephilim’s arms and squeezed hard as the last try of struggle. He gasped like a fish out of water and his feet were kicking the air for an exit. But the half angel was stronger. He kept Sam still with one arm, eyes focused. He wanted to finish it once and for all.

 “Sammy”, Dean grunted. The man had been unconscious. Once he woke up, he faced his nightmare coming to life. “Sammy!” He screamed out for his brother name, watching his brother’s strength slowly drained. The man was terrified. Air was suddenly sucked out of him, leaving him breathless. Water rose up in both of his green eyes, Dean was all shaking up. The nephilim was not just killing his brother, he was also killing Dean. Each of his blood vessels was getting tenser as if they’re going to all explode. And Dean couldn’t bear it. He couldn’t stand watching the only person he cared about, the person he would protect, would die for getting killed like that. Not now, not when Sam thought he hated his brother, not when Sam was all alone like this. Not today.

So he stood up, he did what he had to do, what he had always done in his own life. Being a brother, protecting his brother no matter what it costs and never giving up on Sammy. “Hey, dick bags!” Dean called out with a smirk. All of them turned their attention to him. “Tell me”, Dean’s usual confident tone went back to him. “How far can you fly without wings”, he pouted.

“No”, Lonnie shook his head in disbelief at the elder Winchester.

“Yes!” Dean winked. The man slammed his bleeding palm on the wall which had an angel symbol there. A loud noise came up along with high intensity light that made them all cover their eyes, but Lonnie and Jack. The angels got blown away in the man’s shock.

“What have you done?!” Lonnie growled.

“Saving my brother”, Dean said firmly. He didn’t even show a sign of stepping back from whatever that was.

“You’re killing Thea!” the man painfully screamed. His eyes went gold as he pinned Dean on the wall with his invisible power. Dean’s back got slammed, “And you’re killing my brother, you son of a bitch”, Dean replied with a deep groan.

Anger rose up from Lonnie’s deepest bone. He dropped Sam on the floor. The man coughed for air, breathing unsteadily as the living will came back to him. Lonnie moved away from Sam to Dean. The gold in Jack’s eyes was replaced with the dark red each step he took. Dean struggled to get out of the wall, but he couldn’t. It’s like some kind of invisible glue being sticking around him, holding him still.

Dean glanced at Sam, knowing that he bought Sam sometimes. The man secretly sighed in relief before turning his eyes back on the new threat. “Hey, don’t kiss me, man. I’m straight”, Dean mocked as Lonnie close the distance between them.

Showing nothing but pure range, Lonnie said in a low voice, “You think you’re funny?”

“Well”, Dean pretended to think, “I think I’m hot”. He blew a mocking kiss.

Lonnie chuckled without humor. And Dean continued, “But you know what I think about you? I think you’re a selfish son of a bitch, an insecure one. You’re a real dick who takes advantage of a kid and doesn’t give a damn about anybody else but you. You think you’re doing that for her? You’re doing it for you”. Dean offered a sneer at the younger man.

“Oh”, Lonnie laughed, but there’s no joy in the sound. “Are you talking about me?” he raised an eyebrow, “Or you?” pointed at Dean’s chest. “Because, Dean Winchester, we’re not so different. You’re ready to let the world burn for Sam, right? You’re ready to let an innocent girl die instead of your brother, right? And don’t think you’re better than me”, he gritted his teeth. “After all, we’re the same. You’re just as a monster as I am”, he leaned in and purred at Dean. The hunter looked at him with a smirk as a challenge. And Lonnie returned him what he offered, “Now. You took my world from me”. He whispered humbly as if they had all time in the world. “Let’s see how you react when I take yours”.

Dean widened his eyes open. “No!”

Lonnie didn’t reply with a word. He just laughed at the man before coming back to finish what he left off. “Dean, have you seen anyone eating a soul before?”

“Don’t you dare!” Dean shouted, tried to get off of the hold of some force he couldn’t see.

“I’ll show you”, Lonnie smirked. He forced a small groan out of Sam’s lips as his hand slid in the man’s hair and yanked him up. “You can touch the soul everywhere”, Lonnie lowered himself as his mouth just away from Sam’s bare throat. Sam gulped, causing his apple motioned. “But I myself prefer…”, he let out his tongue and gave Sam a long lick on the skin, making Sam moan a bit as his lover’s touch. “Here”, he chuckled at how much Sam enjoyed this. “Gonna suck your soul out of you, sweetheart”, he breathed hot against the sensitive skin. “Gonna make you feel good”, he kissed the soft skin. “And gonna make them watch us”, his teeth sunk down and Sam whimpered.

Bad blood was boiling up in Dean as he watched his brother being used by someone else. And then, at this moment, he remembered. Sam wasn’t alone, he had Dean. And not only Dean, he had someone else, someone cared about Sam, someone loved Sam as much as Dean did. And there’s no way Dean would let Sam die like this with them watching powerlessly. Not today.

“Jack!” Dean yelled, “I know you’re there! I know you’re watching! I know you care about Sam, hell, you might even love him! I don’t care what you are, kid. Now all I care is what you do! Sam trusted you! You can’t let this happen!”

Lonnie took a deep breath as he felt the blood on Sam’s neck was dripping under his move. Sam sighed unconsciously. He could see why Jack liked the man so much. His blood tasted so good as if it was made from Heaven. The noise he made was too good to refuse. The feels he caused with each touch was so incredible. Lonnie could have some fun before this. It might be because of the nephilim’s hormone that he got his erection, but either way, it’s worth a try. It’s not like he had anything else to lose. He could play with Sam before killing them all and waited for those dick angels found their way back to finish the deal. As long as he’s alive, Thea had a chance. Then why rush?

“Oh he is watching”, Lonnie chuckled, “And he is screaming”, Lonnie took a glance at Jack, “He’s also crying like a baby over there, begging not to touch his man”, Lonnie let go of Sam and stood up, “But welp, like I said, Jackie boy”, he removed Sam’s belt, “Sam likes a man, a real man, not a crying baby like you”. Throwing the belt away, Lonnie licked his lip, “So let me show you, how much of a man I am”. He yanked Sam’s jean down in Dean’s terror.

“Jack! Save him! Jack!” The man asked for help in desperate.

“I-I can’t”, Jack said quietly with tears on his cheeks. He wasn’t strong enough. He’s not Lonnie. The man had been planning and practicing everything. Jack couldn’t even move a pencil without messing up. He had failed Sam and now he’s failing Sam again. It’s a shame rising in him that made him look away in pain. He didn’t want this to happen, but it was happening. And all he could do was standing here like a building watching the storm coming in and washing everything he loved away.

“Of course you can’t”, Lonnie mumbled as he leaned down and kissed the fabric covering Sam’s half hard cock. The man moaned when Lonnie tugged his hand under his boxer and rubbed his groin.

“You can, Jack! You can!” Dean screamed. His throat was on fire. His brother was being violated before his eyes. His precious world was being torn apart by some sick monster. And he couldn’t take it. Sam had been through this in Hell and the pain had never been completely eased away. Dean knew about it and he hadn’t done anything to help his brother. It’s not that he didn’t want to, but he didn’t know how. And now, when he was actually watching his brother about to be sexual assaulted again, he was unable to do a thing. The man swallowed hard. He wished he had faith that everything would be better, but with the nephilim being locked somewhere, there’s no hope. Dean’s tears fell from his eyelash.

“Oh please, Dean”, Lonnie rubbed his forehead. “Quit yelling, already. Can’t you just sit back and relax?” He looked up at Dean.

“Go to Hell”, Dean growled.

“Already there”, Lonnie shrugged. “Beside, Jack has a better manner than you, old man”. Lonnie pointed out.

“What do you mean?” Dean sounded angry.

“Well. He gave up. He’s standing right over there to watch the show”, Lonnie smiled at Jack as if this was nothing.

“What?” Dean looked to the empty space with shock. How could he? But Dean didn’t have time to ask when Sam’s clothes got ripped apart by one move. Dean gasped. His brother was completely naked as much as when he’d been born. “What are you doing?!” Dean knew exactly what Lonnie’s doing, but it’s just a normal reaction from a man that was about to lose in every aspect of life.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” He gave a bitch face before removing his shirts. “I’m fucking Sam Winchester here”.

“What? No!” Dean demanded.

“Yes!” Lonnie winked as a mocking move. “And we’ll see how good Sam is with Jack’s cock burying deep inside. Shall we?” Lonnie bit his lip teasingly at Jack. Looking how hurt Jack was only made him feel more satisfied. “Loser”, he mumbled while removing his belt.

“You don’t care about him”, Dean muttered humbly.

“What?” Lonnie stopped his move and narrowed his eyes at Dean. An eyebrow of his was raised.

“Not you”. A sarcastic smile escaped his lips. “You”, Dean turned to Jack. Even though Dean couldn’t see Jack, he was starring right at Jack with anger. This was exactly the look Jack had been afraid of Dean. “You act like you care about him”, he went on, “But you don’t”.

Jack gulped. His eyebrows met each other. What was Dean talking about? Of course Jack did. He cared about Sam more than anything.

“You just wanna use him”, Dean sneered. “You want him to satisfy a monster in you. You take him and then you pretend to admire him”.

“It’s not true”, Jack replied.

“You might forget, but let me repeat myself. He might think that you’re a saint, but do you know what I see in you?” Dean asked and Jack knew what he was about to say. He knew exactly what it was.

“Dean, please” Jack’s lips were shaking.

“You’re nothing but this disgusting crap that I can’t wait to get rid of”. He spilled out the cold harsh words.

“Dean, stop!” Jack chattered. Tears were rising. Not again, not this, please. Jack had to watch Sam being taken away from him, and it’s bad enough. He didn’t need these words to feel more like a mess.

“You’re no better than your imaginary friend there. Or maybe it’s still you the whole time, doing shit and blaming on someone else. Just like you fucking father!” Dean angrily scolded.

“Okay, that’s enough”, Lonnie cut the tense between these two. But there’s no way Dean would. He continued as if he’s been waiting for the moment for so long. “You’re just a manipulative son of a bitch. You’re not worth Sam, you hear me?”

“Dean! Stop!” Jack cried out. The words were too much for him to bear now.

“And guess what? Sam doesn’t care about you, either”. Dean offered a sarcastic laugh.

“He does”, Jack tightened his fist.

“All he cares about is what you can do for him”, Dean persisted.

“Not true”, Jack shook his head in anger.

“As soon as he’s done with you, he would be happy to turn yourself to me. And when that happens?”

“He does care about me”, Jack growled.

“I’d be happy to watch you die under my knife, you hear me, you son of a bitch?!”

“He loves me”, Jack spoke in a low voice. He breathed steadily, chest rising up and down with tense.

“Prove that I’m wrong, you snake”, Dean spit up with a dare.

“I love him”, Jack snarled. His teeth were chattering with such a disturbing noise. His face was heating up, chest was holding high.

“Jackie boy. Don’t listen to him”, Lonnie advised with his hands on the air.

“What? Is he crying for momma now?” Dean laughed out loud, “Show me that I’m wrong!” Dean demanded.

Wrath was rising frantically inside of him. He had enough of it. He’d done with people judging him, using him, betraying him, hurting him and messing with him. He’d done with how much they thought they knew him while they knew nothing. He’d done with people labeling him. He’d done with instructions, with pointing fingers, with this and that. He’s done with how people defined his love for Sam as a child, as a baby, as not man enough, as just a crush, as not real. Who did they think they are? How much did they think they know him and Sam? Who gave them the right to do such thing? Who gave them the right to toy with him? Who allowed them to touch the man he loved to prove that they’re better than him? None of them had the right to do anything of it. None!

“I” Jack’s muscles got all tense as he slowly lifting his chin up. His voice was low and full of irritation.

“Jackie”, Lonnie shook his head as he took a step back.

“Love” Bright gold filled his eyes as he looked up at Lonnie.

“Jack” Lonnie gasped. This couldn’t happen. He had control. He controlled the body and Jack was just a hallucination. And hallucination couldn’t do anything when it got trapped in the hallucination box.

“Sam!” Jack roared loudly as Lonnie must cover his ear as the sound. Jack’s wings spread wide and burn bright, wrecking and tearing those walls that had been keeping him still. Jack walked out of the invisible zone, showing his real form as he faced Lonnie.

“Imposible”, Lonnie was in shock.

Jack kept his eyes still as he used his hand to throw Lonnie across the room.

“Atta boy”, Dean shook his head in joy. His body dropped on the ground.

Jack held his fingers up and Lonnie’s body was up in the air. He moved to the left and Lonnie was thrown to the left. “You’re using me” Jack said as he stiffened his fist in the air. An invisible rope was squeezing Lonnie’s throat, making his mouth open as much as his eyes. “You’re manipulating me”, Jack clenched at the choked man. “You’re hurting my friends”, he gripped. Lonnie’s bone was cracking under the nephilim’s strength. Blood began dripping from his nose. “You’re hurting my Sam!” Jack screeched before knocking all the air from Lonnie. Eyes rolling to the back of the head, Lonnie couldn’t say a thing but grunt.

Jack stopped, panted with pure rage. “Why did you do that?” Jack finally asked.

Coughing unstoppably, Lonnie looked at Jack with weak voice. “You know why”.

“Couldn’t you just ask? I was your friend”, Jack looked softer as if he still hoped that Lonnie was something else than just a selfish traitor.

Lonnie chuckled with a shake on his head. “We’re not. I just used you. You have never been my friend”.

Jack nodded with such a sad motion. He trusted this man, he listened to every instruction of his, and he could even eat a bullet for him. But life was a game and it had never been fair. Sometimes, what you wanted wasn’t always what you would have. You just had to learn how to let it go.

Lonnie sighed. He looked as confident as always, “But I was right, Jack. I have always been”

“About what?” Jack wasn’t exactly in the mood of talking now.

“Sam”, he fixed his eyes on the naked hunter.

“What about him?” Jack tightened his fist. Just one insult word and Jack would finish Lonnie right there without a second thought. He’d been through too much. He would not allow anyone talk any crap about his man again.

“Sam Winchester would be that hella kinda crush of yours”, Lonnie chuckled exhaustedly.

“And what do you mean by that?”

“That he’s the kind of crush that’s worth to go Hell for”, Lonnie winked. The man exhaled before closing his eyes, “Take care of my Mummy for me, Jackie boy”.

“Lonnie?” Jack asked as the man was slowly fading away.

“Thank you, bud”, he weakly said before vanishing in the thin air. A ball of while light replaced which hurt human eyes without being covered. It set the place in heat and discomfort. “Sammy”, Dean hurriedly ran to Sam to cover his body from the invisible fire. The man pulled off his coat to wrap around Sam’s cold body. The light turned off and only one nephilim left on the floor.

“Jack?” Dean asked uncertainly as the nephilim blinked. The boy stood up and looked up and down to make sure it’s him controlling his own body. Jack gulped before nodding with a smile in return.

“Thank God”, Dean sighed in relief.

“Sam”, Jack jumped up when he noticed that Sam was still in one's birthday suit. The boy rushed in where Sam and Dean were.

“Dude, what are you thinking you’re doing?” Dean stopped Jack when the boy was stripping his jeans off.

“I’m giving Sam my jeans. I’m wearing boxer”, Jack explained.

“You think he can fit in your jeans?” Dean asked. He looked really curious.

“I don’t know. We can’t leave him like that”, Jack yanked his jeans down and stepped out of it.

“What about you?” Dean raised an eyebrow before taking a step back and giving Jack the room.

“I don’t mind this. But Sam does”, he kneeled before Sam and started to hold his body up to put the jeans on. Sam’s quite heavy so Dean helped the kid by holding Sam for Jack. The jeans weren’t exactly fit since it’s a bit small in comparison to Sam’s actual size. It’s kind of tight, leaving Sam’s butt quite exposed. But it’s better than nothing. Sam’s now wearing Dean’s shirt and Jack’s jeans.

“Let’s get out of here”, Dean announced when the kid’s done dressing Sam up. Jack nodded in agreement. Jack helped Sam up and put Sam’s arm around Jack’s neck to walk out while Dean picking Thea up. They decided it’d be better for them to just get to the car and drive back to the bunker than teleporting there. Mostly, it’s because Dean hated flying. But Jack was fine with the idea.

It was when they nearly got out that the flap of wings was back. It took them long enough to be back here. “So you killed Anarkiel, I see”, Rebecca said with her superior again.

Jack stopped at the sound. He turned around to face four of the angels. They definitely brought their friends here to fight.

“You asked him to kill Sam”, Jack said angrily.

“It’s an eye for an eye, Jack. He played us”, Rebecca firmly pointed out.

“He tried to help us”, the kid shook his head in disagreement.

“He tried to help himself”, she corrected, “Anarkiel is always selfish like that. He does anything that’s advantageous for him. He never cares about anyone else”.

“You’re not here to teach how to live”, Dean cut her off, “What do you want?”

“Dean”, Rebecca smiled, “You know what we want”.

“And you know I’ll say no”, Dean grinned back.

“But I’ve never asked you”, she said before giving her friends a sign. “Take the nephilim. Kill the rest”.

They stormed in as her order. Each of them was arming a blade and ready to fight. Jack stood still and waited for them to come. When they’re just a couple of inches away from away from them, Jack held his hand up and they all stopped. It looked like something was grabbing their legs and keeping them still. All of the angels were paralyzed. Rebecca was eyes widen as she tried to convince Jack. “Jack. Listen, they’re not good guys. The Winchesters are-”

Boop.

They all turned to black smoke. Dean looked at the kid with a rising eyebrow.

“Sam’s head is hurt. They talk too much”, the kid explained.

“Uh-huh” Dean offered him a shocking smile.

\---------------------------------

The boy didn’t leave Sam’s side since they’re back to the bunker. He insisted to wait till Sam’s awake to make sure he’s okay. Jack’s sitting by Sam’s bed, hand was holding Sam’s. He caressed his lover’s fingers with love and care. Jack stroked Sam’s hair gently, whispered something just both of them know. And Dean observed all. He was leaning against the cold wall and watching the nephilim taking care of his brother. For the first time in his life, Dean felt secured. He didn’t know why but something about Jack that made him feel so. Maybe the kid wasn’t that bad? He’s still the Devil’s kid, but it didn’t say a thing, right? He saved Sam, even if it took some harsh crap to kick his ability out of his ass, but that’s all matter.

A knock on Sam’s door drew their attention. “Keep an eye on him”, Dean gave out his order before heading out to meet Thea. “Hey, how are you doing?” Dean politely asked.

“Better”, Thea replied as they headed to the living room. “Thank you for breaking the spell”.

“Well, don’t mention it”, Dean smiled, “Besides, you should thank Sam. He noted about those soul spells awhile ago in case things like this happened”.

“Yeah, I see”, she nodded. “Thank you to all of you”.

“Hey”, Dean stopped, “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure. Go ahead”, she looked up at Dean.

“Anarkiel. What is he?” Dean went with the question.

Thea bit her lips with thoughts before spilling the truth. “He called himself Anarky. His real name is Lonnie Machin. He’s a bad guy that I stopped awhile ago. In doing so, I accidentally burned him. Since that day, he claimed that I was his mom and that I gave birth to Anarky. My brother believed that he kinda had a crush on me”, she laughed awkwardly.

“That’s a hella kinda freak way to have crush on someone”, Dean shook his head.

“Well, he tried to save me back then. He died in a flame while doing that. Never seen him till now”, she recalled with a neutral voice, but if you listened closely, there’s some regret there. “He’s not a good guy”, she’s assertive. “But not completely bad, either”, Thea pointed out. “I think he’s lunatic”, she finally said with shrug.

“You tell me about that”, Dean chuckled. “Well, what are you gonna do now?” he asked as they started walking again.

“Heading back to Star City”, she smiled, “I’m gonna take a long off after all this heaven and hell stuff”, she admitted.

“Yeah, obviously”, Dean held up her bag while they’re heading out of the bunker. “Say hello to Constantine for me, will you?” Dean grinned once they’re out.

“You know him?” Thea asked in amusement, stuffing her bag in her car.

“Yeah. Worked with him once. The guy is a real asshole, though”, Dean laughed.

“Sure he is”, Thea laughed too.

They said goodbye after that. When Dean got back in the bunker, he saw Jack was in the kitchen, looking for some juice. The kid’s shoulders said that Dean’s appearance made him nervous. Dean walked in to look for some beer and he could easily tell that Jack was holding his breath. Jack was about to head out that Dean called him.

“Kiddo, can we talk?”

Jack gulped. He wanted to say no, but he nodded anyway. The boy sat at the kitchen table where Dean was holding a beer in his hand. He tried to avoid Dean’s eyes as much as possible.

“Look”, Dean broke the silence, “What I told you back then, I meant it”.

Jack closed his eyes, memories floated in. The echo of Dean’s voice where he said Jack wasn’t good enough for Sam, that he’s not worth, that Sam just used him, that their love wasn’t exist was so loud in his head. Jack wanted to push it away but he couldn’t. So he decided to speak up. “Dean, I-”, he opened his mouth, held his eyes up on the same level with Dean.

“I know you care about Sam” Dean said softly.

He wouldn’t let Dean define him anymore. “I do care… Wait. What?” He frowned at the words. Did Dean say what he thought Dean did?

Dean chuckled, taking a gulp of his drink. “Yeah. I meant that”.

“Then what about things like I’m not worth him?” Jack asked. Confusion was all over his face.

“To be honest?” Dean raised an eyebrow, “I do believe that nobody’s worth Sam. So don’t take it personal”, Dean looked over his shoulder, set his gaze at Sam’s room. “But well”, he continued, “He’s worth a try”.

Jack wasn’t sure what Dean meant, but he didn’t dare to ask. The man was a walking strange.

“So”, Dean went on, “I know you care about him and he does care about you. And I do know that you have a crush on him, too”.

Okay. This was when Jack would learn that his boyfriend’s brother said no to him. The kid took a deep breath and waited for the words to come out, so that he would give the man his own explanations and then hope for it to work. It’s okay. He had practiced this. There’s nothing to be afraid of.

“I’ll give you a chance with him”, Dean swallowed the beer in Jack’s shock. He would what now? “Close your mouth, kid”, Dean huffed out a laugh.

Jack did almost immediately before opened again to ask again to make sure he’d misheard, “Really?”

“Yeah”, Dean chuckled, “You did good last night. You saved him. And he likes you. So why not?” He shrugged.

Jack couldn’t hide his excitement. “Thank you, Dean”. His grin was like from ear to ear and Dean admitted that he hadn’t seen the kid this happy before. Well, basically, it’s because he hadn’t been home for awhile.

Dean smiled softly before turned to be serious again, “But if you break his heart, you’d better run to another planet. Because I’m gonna hunt you down and rip your lungs out, you hear me?” Dean warned the younger boy with such a horrible expression which he knew would work on any kind of boyfriends. And just as he thought, Jack looked in terror the way Dean’s eyes on him. And the poor kid did nothing but nod like his life depended on it. Dean tried his best hold a laugh. He licked his lips and swallowed his beer.

After living in the invisible war zone for awhile, Jack left the kitchen and headed to Sam’s room with a glass of orange juice. He believed that Sam would need this when he woke up. The kid sighed in relief when he’s out of Dean’s sight. He knew Dean was just the typical brother who wanted to make sure his precious brother would be happy. But again, typical brother didn’t actually kill you like he promised, right? However, it’s a good start. All Jack had to do now was just work as hard as possible to make things between he and Sam worked. He nodded to himself and grinned. This was good. He was good.

Jack entered the room when Sam was putting his shirt on. “Sam”, Jack sighed in happiness. Like a natural chemical reaction, the kid grinned widely and jumped right onto his boyfriend. Sam was got off guard and fell right back on bed with Jack clinging to him. Sam smiled as Jack buried his nose deep inside the man’s neck as if he was inhaling Sam’s musk that he thought he had lost forever, that he could never have a chance for this again. Jack held him tight, so tight as if he was afraid that if he let go, he would disappear.

“Jack”, Sam stroked his boy’s back gently, “You’re okay?”

“I am”, Jack snorted. Guilt was growing inside of his stomach. He had nearly pushed Sam in danger just because he’d thought he could handle everything which obviously was not true. And even when he should be scolded at, punished for what he’d done, Sam still chose to be this gentle and nice and kind with him. Sometimes, Jack truly thought he wasn’t worth Sam’s love at all. Because of this, this was why he was nothing comparing to Sam. He’s just full of love and care and good. He’s just a bunch of sunshine that was ready to warm Jack up in the middle of the winter. And what had Jack been thinking? Walking in without asking Sam? Doing without even thinking? Sam had taught him better than that and he’d failed him. And his failure had nearly got them all dead.

“Sam”, he lifted his chin to look at Sam in the eye. “I apologize for what I’ve done. I put you in danger”, he bit his lip to hold back a sob.

“Hey”, Sam removed the hair covering Jack’s eyes, “It’s okay, sweetheart. Everyone makes mistake”, he ran his fingers on Jack’s face, “Just don’t repeat it”. There’s so much honey in that voice and it made Jack want to be melt on the man’s touch right there. “And next time, ask first, okay?” Sam leaned on and pressed a kiss on Jack’s cheek.

“Yes, Sam”, Jack responded, not sure if he should kiss Sam or thank him or just die right there because Sam was too sweet to be true. But he did what he thought was the best in the situation which was to throw himself back to Sam’s neck. Don’t blame him, that’s the musk making want it, okay? “Thank you, Sam”, Jack whispered softly against Sam’s skin. And Sam chuckled happily. Sliding his fingers in, Sam played with Jack’s hair while the kid found himself peaceful in his lover’s neck.

“Jack?” Sam asked when he felt Jack’s hand tugging under the man’s thin fabric. Jack ran his palm up and down Sam’s body, drawing a sweet groan out of Sam’s pink lips. “Miss you”, Jack’s hot breath playfully touched, knew that it would drive Sam all crazy. Kissing and sucking Sam’s collarbone, Jack moaned when Sam sliding his large hands down his ass and squeezing it. “Want you, Sam”, Jack hissed weakly, rubbing his growing front against Sam’s crotch, pulling something sound like _fuck_ out of the older man.

Sam growled as the boy’s move. With one motion, Sam switched and pushed Jack’s back face the mattress. Sam smirked while Jack was panting with a lick on his lips. The man was sitting on top of him, eyes on his beautiful boy. Jack lifted his waist and touched the man’s budge again. He’s such a teaser, Sam thought, for a boy who was this innocent. Sam smacked his mouth on Jack, kicking the sweetest moan Sam had ever heard in his life out of his pretty throat. Their hungry tongues tasted each other as if it was the last thing on Earth that had taste. Sam held Jack’s hands above his head. The kid whimpered and jerked his hip up, making Sam want nothing but fuck him right there.

“Wanna try something new?” Sam suggested and Jack sighed as an agreement. “Stay still for me”, Sam demanded and Jack swallowed hard at the words. Sam stood up and removed his sweatpants, freeing his cock. Jack looked at him with his mouth watering and Sam chuckled at the sight. Sam stroked his length a couple of times which killed Jack with such an uncomfortable erection. Jack massaged his crotch while watching Sam, wanting nothing but to taste the man’s flesh. As he wished, Sam stopped his fingers to crawl back to back and sealed his mouth on Jack’s lips again. The man replaced Jack’s palm with his. He pressed against Jack’s jeans hard enough that the boy jerked his hip. A moan escaped but got stuck by the hunter’s kiss. Jack couldn’t help but running his hands up and down Sam’s abs, watching his lover breathing heavy as the way Jack moved. Sam hummed along with his own touch, finding himself satisfied enough by just how good Jack felt under him. Cutting the wait, Sam pulled himself back and licked his lips to trade the last of Jack’s taste on his mouth. “On your back, Jack”, Sam instructed and Jack did. The boy lied back and relaxed while Sam climbing on him. “Good boy”, Sam whispered his compliment before kissing Jack’s jaw, leaving the kid wanting for more.

Settling Jack down with his head on the pillow and his hands were being held above by his boyfriend’s fingers tying his wrist, Sam started the show. The man moved to sit on Jack’s heavy chest, more like he’s kneeling with his knees apart and Jack lying in between. Sam’s cock hanging on the air in front of Jack’s mouth but barely touched the boy’s lips. Jack tried to lean in but Sam held him still, making him extremely uncomfortable. “Sam, please”, Jack asked for his permission. Always ask first, Jack reminded himself.

“Please what, Jack?” Sam smirked as he pushed his hip forward, still managed not to let Jack have it.

“Please give me your penis. I want to taste you”, Jack sounded completely honest which made Sam’s heart dropped. Damn, he was so cute. He couldn’t know he’s dirty talking in a blame way.

Sam chuckled as he leaned down and kissed the top of Jack’s head. “Got ya, Jack”, he smiled. Jack gulped when Sam finally pushed a bit further, let the head of his cock touched Jack’s lips. Like a chemical catalyst, the touch sent Jack’s dick the best excitement, making it standing up so high. Jack kissed the tip of Sam’s cock and the man groaned for it. Jack’s lips were so perfect and he might not even know. Sam almost lost his control right there with Jack kissing and licking and moaning and thanking him as if Sam just granted Jack such a blessing stuff. The kid couldn’t stop his thank you and Sam wanted to devour him for how adorable he was. He just wanted to mark Jack, make him his forever so no one, none even Lucifer could get the boy from him. Each touch of Jack’s mouth made Sam’s cock all kind of happy, his veins grew out, wanted for more, needed for more, graved for more. And Sam gave in. He shoved his cock in Jack slowly and the boy took it as a good boy he was. Jack swallowed everything Sam offered and the man opened his mouth to gasp for how amazing it felt. Jack was sloppy at this, but he tried to make Sam proud. The boy recalled what it had felt when Sam gave him a blowjob, so he did as much as he could the way Sam did. He twisted his lips, licked and swallowed and hummed to give Sam’s cock the vibration and admiration that it needed. Sam tasted sweet and salty, definitely not like nougat way but way better. Jack never felt so good eating something like this. Nougat couldn’t give him all kind of pleasure like how Sam’s cock gave him. Sam started to thrust and Jack gagged a bit but as soon as the man pulled out in worry, Jack moved his head forward and slammed his throat on the cock again and again and again, making Sam almost crazy with how hungry the nephilim was. Sam licked his lips when he looked down on Jack, seeing Jack’s eyes were still always focusing on Sam’s expression. It made Sam speed up but Jack never failed to catch up. A quick learner, you could say.

Sam hissed as orgasm built up so fast in his body. The man freed Jack’s hands and just like that, Jack immediately flew to touch Sam everywhere he could, holding on Sam like an adorable kitten. Sam panted, almost lost it with how good Jack’s mouth worked. The man panted with pleasure. Jack could sense it. In the need of please his man, Jack leaned more in to deep throat Sam, making him growl his name along with some fuck and some Jesus and some God. His grandpa was being brought up a lot while they’re doing this. Jack wasn’t sure if He liked to know that but it’s not like he cared much about his blood family while all he could think of was this particular man who was giving him all of the best miracles in his life. Jack could see stars hanging around Sam as the man opened his mouth to whine. Jack learnt that each culture had its own God, so in Jack’s dictionary, this was his God, Sam was his God. And Jack couldn’t be more grateful for that. The boy took more and more, didn’t mind if he’s being choked, he was just too in love with Sam’s taste and his expression of being extremely high on sex. Jack couldn’t help but sing along while his mouth was stuffed with a huge flesh. He couldn’t help singing his new hymn.

“Sammy?! Jack?! You kids should hurry up! Dinner is ready!” Dean kicked the door and it made Sam almost jumped up. Sam startled and went off guard. He had been controlling himself to last as much as he could and Jack wanted to put it a stop. The kid was too impatient. He wanted all of Sam in him. Jack went on and buried his nose in Sam’s public hair. The man lost it. His head was thrown back, eyes was squeezed shut. Sam bit his lips and shot deep inside of Jack before letting go and threw a fist against the wall with a loud groan. Jack drank all of Sam’s come as if that was what his God perfectly sent him.

Sam fell on his back, on top of Jack. His chest was falling and rising like crazy. Jack moved out of Sam’s heavy body to crawl back to him. Jack leaned in and kissed Sam. The man could still taste himself on Jack’s lips. They took time to exchanging lazy kisses with Jack’s hands on Sam’s chest and Sam’s hands on Jack’s jaw. Their lips were brushing, touching, admiring, loving and it’s not even enough for Jack. It’s the smallest thing Jack could do for Sam. Jack wanted to give Sam all he wanted since he knew he could never make up enough for what he had done for Sam. How could he do something that stupid and how could he let some stranger bad guy in his life and messed with Sam? What would happen if he lost Sam? What would happen if he failed to help Sam? What would happen if Sam’s gone? Would he be able to continue his life without being such a mess? The man was the nicest person on Earth and Jack couldn’t stand it. He couldn’t hold back anymore. He couldn’t pretend anymore. Despite how Sam forgave him, he couldn’t. Jack burst out his sob while holding Sam, tears falling. Jack kissed him harder and cried harder between each kiss.

“Jack?” Sam stopped Jack, he pushed the kid away enough to look at his boy. “You’re okay?” asked Sam with such a worry voice. Jack was all shaking up. He hiccupped and sobbed but Jack shook his head and came back to kiss Sam. “Jack”, Sam called as he pushed Jack away again. This time he sounded more serious, “I love to kiss you forever but you gotta tell me what’s wrong”.

“Sam”, Jack looked at Sam with tears in his eyes. Sam was being nice again even when Jack wasn’t worth it. Jack had been thinking that when Lonnie’s gone, there would be no one else would say bad things about their relationship anymore. But he’s wrong. It’s bad. This relationship was bad, because Jack was bad, evil maybe. So even when Jack thought he got control, he didn’t. He couldn’t control anything in his life. He couldn’t control who his father was, who he was, what a monster he was. He couldn’t even control his heart or his emotions. Why of all people that he must like Sam? Why of all people that he must fell in love with such a wonderful guy like this? He’s a walking bomb. As long as he’s around, Sam would always be in danger. He knew that he should have stayed away, but he couldn’t. He never could. So it’s too much. He was exhausted with decisions, with right or wrong. Maybe he should just admit that he would never have happiness, he would never know what it was to live a life of his. And worse, he could never have it with Sam. Because if you couldn’t even protect your loved ones, then who were you to say that you’re worth anyone’s trust? So Jack broke down in tears. His shoulders were rising up and down like he’s running on a marathon race.

“Jack?” Sam rushed in to wrap his arms around Jack. His hand was stroking Jack’s back gently to comfort the boy. Jack melted in the touch and it’s worse, because the nicer Sam was, the better it proved that Jack wasn’t worth Sam at all. “Baby, what’s wrong?” Sam asked. He kissed Jack’s hair while asking.

“Stop”, Jack finally said in tears.

“What?” Sam was surprised, not sure what wrong he had done.

“Stop”, Jack looked up at Sam. His eyes were sore red by those tears. Jack snorted, “Stop being so nice to me”. His lips were trembling.

“Why?” Sam sounded sad. It felt like he’s about to cry. There’s something in his chest at the moment. He swallowed it down. Was it the time that his partner figured out how stained he was, how impure he was, how awful he was? Was it the time that they left him for how unworthy he was? It had always happened that way. But he was the only one who left, because he knew what he was. Not this time. This time, Sam was quite serious and quite sure that Jack could understand him and there’s no wall between them. But maybe it wasn’t like that. Maybe after all, he’s not worth anyone’s love. The demon blood in him couldn’t compliance with the angel grace in Jack. He should have seen that. He should have known that. Water was more displaying in his eyes, dragging those bad memories and pain out of him.

“Because I don’t deserve it, I’m not worth it”, Jack gritted. “I put you in danger. You’re all I have and I put you in danger to prove how stupid I was. No one should be nice with someone who’s this bad to them”, tears were falling down like waves.

And before Jack could blame himself anymore, Sam kissed him hard with tears dropping down their cheeks. “You fool”, kissed, “You’re always worth it”, kissed, “I don’t give a damn what happened”, kissed, “All I care about is you here”, kissed, “I love you, Jack”, kissed.

Jack’s eyes squeezed shut at how much love Sam gave him. They only pulled back when air was out of their lungs and Jack couldn’t stop himself from burring himself back in Sam’s neck. “I love you Sam. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you”. And he sobbed through each word of him. And he meant each word he said. Maybe he’s still not worth Sam, but he always could try, and he would never stop till he’s worth Sam. Even when he could trade all his grace for someone else to prove that he loved Sam, he would. Even when he could trade all his life for Sam’s breath to make him understand how much he loved Sam, he would. Because Jack loved Sam and the universe should know.

Sam Winchester wasn’t just Jack’s crush. Sam Winchester was Jack’s first everything and would be his last everything. And Jack would do everything in his possibility to let people see that.

“You kids stop screwing each other and get your ass in here to eat. I’m not asking again!” Dean huffed from the kitchen and they huffed. Sam was the one who let go first. The man wiped Jack’s tears with his thumbs before leaned in and gently put his lips on Jack’s. “Let’s go eat something, shall we?” Sam asked, hot breath haunted Jack’s lips.

And Jack nodded. Sam stood up and cleaned his body before putting on his clothes. The boy watched his man from the bed with heart eyes and Sam couldn’t help but giggle. When Sam’s done, he offered Jack his left hand. And Jack took it. They walked out of the room as a couple that this planet should be aware of.

Somewhere in the dark, a smile was crossing someone’s lips. “You got it, Jackie boy”, a sigh left out, “The deal is done. It’s time for me to go”. Jack turned around but he saw nothing. He hurried up getting back to walk.

“Bye, Lonnie”, he mumbled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for supporting me and this story for such a long time. I can't go this far without any of you. Thank you for the love and hate for you towards characters and sometimes me. Haha. Thank you for always completing me. And thank you for your time.
> 
> I actually enjoyed writing this. And I really want to write more about Sam and Jack in the future but I don't know when I will be able to since my intership is about to start. However, I'll try to balance my life and feed my fantasy as much as I can and of course, share it with you guys. 
> 
> So once again, thank you. And love you all.


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